Tag Archive | Thought

The Bavardage of My Mind

” bavardage” IE; chat, talking, gossiping, chitchat, dialog, prattle
 
I have had an occasion of late to have a lot of down-time. A LOT of down equated for me to be almost zero writing.
Consequently because I didn’t have the outlet and release that I typically find in writing I found instead that I was filled with self-chatter. Thoughts not shared out loud soon became a bounty of negatives and defeating self-talk. To get out of my head, away from my thoughts I started reading about the dynamics of inner dialogue.

That self chatter, self-talk, inner chatter, on-going self dialog, the inner voice,  that which echoes in our heads.

I think everyone does it. 

 From the very second of our birth we begin having interactions with our surrounding environments. and absorbing information. We learn and grow by connecting to and relating to the encounters with others and events that happen around us. In short order we become creatures of habit and we develop into the unique personalities that make us who we are.
Science has demonstrated that our brains retain every single thing we ever are exposed to. Everything we saw, heard, talked over, read, touched, tasted and smelled. Our brain like a huge data base retains it all. True that we might not always be aware or even have access to all the archived details, but this is really protective, it would be mind-blowing if not.
No matter the experience, good or bad, its recorded in our brains. These are the details that lend to our individualism and have a direct impact on our thinking, and in the ways we interact with our environment.
Learning and adapting includes developing the self talk we come to rely on. We learn early on to have theses chats with ourselves.
Eventually we learn our self-chatting becomes our normal way of processing life.
Acknowledging that we create patterns of self-chatter is realizing that literally we learn to hold conversations with ourselves and that becomes habitual. If we recognize that anything we practice on a routine basis becomes an aspect of our behaviors we can see our self-chatter is no different.
Without suggesting that all negative self-talk is toxic our internal dialog however can create irrational expectations, burdens, and stress. If we are not mindful of this dialog taking a negative spin through our mind it can have negative consequences impacting our lives.
Internally reminding ourselves of an appointment is how we stay at task., but when the self-chatter becomes judgmental and negative, it can be self-destructive.
With frequent negative chatter it begins reinforcing and feeding our self-limiting beliefs, creating deeper problems when the sub-conscious mind wants to please and protect. Our subconscious takes everything we say as truth, it cannot differentiate between facts & falsehoods. So to not create conflict within we tend to affirm all the self-chatter whether it is negative or positive.
We create a vicious cycle which I love to refer to as my squirrel cage effect. 

My Squirrel Cage equation looks like this: Negative self-talk + persistence habits = limiting self-beliefs.

We create such behaviors and the sad news is this can be self-defeating, which can result in reinforcing the very behavior which leads to more negative thoughts, and as a result creates yet more negative self-chatter. That’s the Squirrel Cage cage effect

Round and round…here we go.

Our self-talk has a rebound effect on our moods, thoughts, emotions, behaviors & actions. So… the great news is with the realization that we humans are all intelligent beings and with great reflections and brutal honesty with ourselves we all have the ability to ‘reprogram’ our thoughts for better results. We have free will and we are continually evolving as the world keeps on turning.

Our brains are intelligent and like people friendly computers, operating systems with powerful interfaces that can help us navigate and liberate our internal world.  Since our brains function 24/7 there is a constant live stream of subtle chatter feeding our emotions. 

Stop and listen purposely to that inner dialogue.

What is it telling you?

With awareness beginning to identify the inner dialogue and the self-limiting chatter we might see that the negative self-chatting can actually harm emotionally. By changing instead to that which is self-affirming and positive reinforcements we can reprogram our internal dialogue.

Learning the art to separate yourself from self-defeating thoughts is life affirming. I have been practicing yoga & meditation for more years than I will ever admit to and I know the power our minds if we become mindful of where we let our thoughts take us. So with that in mind I created a list of purposeful driven actions that with practice can get me out of that negative head space of self chatter.

Out of the Bavardage of my mind.

I share my suggested thoughts as examples of what I find works for me, this does not mean it will work for everyone, but maybe it will start some thoughts on the subject.

  • Awareness
Going to a place where I won’t be interrupted, and I can relax . Only observing what goes on within my mind without trying to rid, alter, or direct my thoughts in any way. Becoming just an observer while I allow the dialogue to run wild
  • Analyze
Taking time to analyze if there is any truth to my inner negative chatting can allow myself to become more aware.  Questioning if I actually believe what ”self” is telling me.

I am finding as I practice this that while I dissect my negative self-chat I am able to re-examine my reality, and I can see the opportunities for improving and changing my beliefs when appropriate.
  • Determination
  • Now that I have become more mindful and aware of this internal dialogue on a regular basis the next purposeful goal is to become determined to find a way to distract and stop the “tapes” from running through my thoughts. Creating a buzz word for myself has helped. I use the term “Whoa it up” but basically it is being determined to tell myself  to stop  the chatter, to say “NO” each time I catch myself.  A more dramatic and therapeutic measure I have heard others use is to wear a rubber band on the wrist which can be snapped on the skin each time there is a discovery of negative chatter. I’ve heard the term “Stinking Thinking” The point is to find what works for you.
  • Self-Affirmations

    Realize that just simply trying to turn the negative inner dialogue off as it floods our thoughts is the first step to changing the negative to positive. But by just substituting the negative self-talk with something else is only a short-term fix. Our minds tend to revert right back to the original offending thought once we let go of the attempted distraction. Instead I now let the negative chatter pass through my mind without giving it any weight of importance.

    Practice being at ready to affirm yourselves with positive statements of self-affirming internal dialogue.

{ Positive Self-Affirmation Examples )

And finally; to aid in bolstering these self-affirming thought

  • Visualization and Focus

While stating our chosen affirmation visualize being in the exact situation or circumstances in the mind’s eye. Visualize living with integrity, see the beauty in that the you are good enough just as you are. Experience the feeling of peacefulness by imagining where that is for you. Focus on that image for a few minutes. be mindful and enjoy the feelings it causes, breathe in deeply… and exhale slowly.


Our automatic nature or our auto-pilot if you will, can make it challenging to change our negative self-chatter;  but the good news is that false beliefs and cognitive distortions of our truths are learned behaviors and that very fact means we CAN learn to change our negative defeating talk. That realization for me has helped return the power of my thinking to being mindful with the results being far less of that self-defeating chatter is being discussed with my ‘Self’ 

To Jump start the process of positive self-affirmations included below is a borrowed list of affirmations. My hope is that one or more might resonate with you and give you a head start to developing your own personal list. Write them down and place them where you will see them often for reinforcement.

  • I am Successful,  Healthy and Happy.
  • I am grateful to life for all that I have received till now and for all that I will be receiving in the future.
  • I can do it.
  • I feel good about myself and about everybody around me.
  • All is well. Everything that is happening is as it is meant to be.
  • The past is gone. I live only in the present.
  • I love myself unconditionally and accept myself as I am.

I’ve been actively practicing “my process” long enough now to understand the power of words we say to ourselves.  Be kind to your Self, understand that what you tell yourself impacts your Self.

©tjtaylor2013

60,000 Choice Thoughts

We think up about 60,000 thoughts in a day. How vital it is that we make choices about our thinking.
Sound a bit too clinical for LBB? 
 
Maybe think About this: 
How important it is that we not think up 60,000 negative thoughts, or even 59,000. It is imperative that we not harbor cynical and negative thoughts. our brain has approximately 100 billion cells, and each is connected to about 20,000 other cells.  What this means is our thinking has the possibilities of billions, maybe trillions of various thoughts.
We have the freedom of choice
 Maybe we could begin anew if our thoughts of late have run into the fields of negativity.
My thoughts seem to revolve around my emotional intelligence lately, and sometimes the painful lessons my intelligence runs a foul with in that field of life.
With infinite combinations of brain cells to choose from why not try a whole new combination today?

While taking a self inventory you might find that what brought you to be the person you are today are the many painful, heart-crushing moments in our life that leave you winded. It might be a knee jerk reaction to run from those painful moments as fast as you can; thinking its the safest route.
Life just smacked you a good one and to stay in that moment and feel it.. is… well.. .painful.  Yes.
Life is painful, it is not that we are bad people having bad things happen to us.
It is that L.I.F.E. has to have pain in order to honor the joy.
Yes,  the yin & the yang. The negative and the positive.
Looking back on our thinking; without explanation, without apologizing, we can own the painful moments created along our journeys.
Painful moments exist. Life can hurt. But, remember we have been here before, we felt this before. We know we survived it. (though maybe it felt all to consuming at the moment)
There is that space in time again; The moment.  A friend shared that his bitter moments are balanced with his sweet, I love his thinking.
Without the bitter than can not possibly be the sweet. The positive needs the negative for their to be a true & concise connection.
There must be some truth to the adage “No Pan No Gain”.
Maybe it is how we evolve.
Life can hurt. A lot sometimes.
– The bitter.
Thankfully those painful moments come with built-in lessons.
 -The sweet.
For me quite often it is not until later that I realize there is a lesson, a sweetness garnered from the bitter moment.
Finally I see it.  Finally I feel it.
Feeling painful moments are good reminders for me to breathe deeply, and slowly; Inhaling the moment that came with its pain smack right in the middle of my living to bring & teach me some necessary growth.

Growth can come from places never even realized. Growth can come from places that we thought were not available to us, places we thought were dead & barren. Places of great disappointments.
Growth happens when we realize that it is not what happens in our lives that long stays with us, but it is t how we happen choose to respond to the happenings.
This is why it is called happiness.
Freedom to choose to see the sweet, balanced by the bitter.  (Thank you Groovy)
 I know for certain that I make the choice to hang on to hope, that what has ‘happened’ has happened for good reason.
Life it seems is much like a beautiful piece of embroidered cloth. The first half the embroidery is worked from the “wrong side’ of the fabric, stitching out the branches that will hold the blossoms, that bring the fruit.
The second half of life is the ‘right side’ of the fabric with its rich texture of all those pain-taken stitches.
Life’s lessons, even the painful ones, are much like how certain people are brought into our lives for a certain reasons.
I have a wooden plaque that sits in a prominent place in my home given to me my bestie in 2010 that I cherish to this day. It is also a reminder for me about the lessons that come into our lives.
It says:
” Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people stay for awhile and leave footprints in our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.”    (thank you DCD) 
©tjtaylot2013

Me & The Blues

 

Deciphering life through music is an empowering and decisive way to express one’s self, a cathartic way to analyze one’s thoughts & feelings, and a way to examine and self inventory.

Feeling the joy through a song that reminds you of a special celebration, a favorite road trip, or maybe true love is something we may take for granted. Or maybe it’s the heartbreak ‘ripping the heart out’ kind of tune. Then comes the reaction between the body, brain, & heart.

A chemical reaction,

More than the beat of the tune, the great guitar riffs, or the lyrics, music is much more to our brain. There is more to liking or not liking a song for each individual than most of us are typically aware of. Dozens of brain receptors in our brain respond to different rhythm, tones, and lyrics, determining the qualities we personally like and dislike in a particular song.

Music involves more parts of the brain than any other function that humans perform, Specific brain wave rhythm’s are associated with particular emotional  and cognitive outcomes. Over time listening to music improves language skills, creativity & happiness. Music also has incredible healing powers aiding in anxiety, speed healing, increase optimism, and decreasing pain.

Music definitely does not go in one ear and out the other. In fact, I tend to think we absorb it.

I write.

I write a lot. 

I write a lot about self-exploration and spirituality.

I think of my writing as a process, as an excavation of myself. Interesting I find that I am unable to write effectively without music, I always knew it inspired me, even helped me open up  to the muse by striking chords within myself that torch vulnerable raw emotions.

When I hear feel certain blue’s bar chords my ears like radar pick up the notes and the tones as the resonation travels; through to my soul allowing myself to be more in touch with myself than any other time. No other genre or instrument quite has this immediate impact on me like the blues guitar.  There is a kind of physiological reaction and my mind opens up to my heart & to my spirit  Blues chords strip away my ego’s thoughts and protective sleeve helping me find  way to the raw emotions I garner for when I write. I have a play list called 4WritingMusic,, and another  one titled HealingMusic  among my collection’s of music. These two playlists are most prized in my collection of music, All genres are represented in my library, (even Rap now which I had not  been able to say until most recently.)  I have opera, classical, classic-country, folk, pop, hard rock, acid rock, country-rock in my collection to name a few genres;  but if I could choose only one genre which would it be?

No question; for me it is Blues when I am writing.

My friend and master guitarist Pablo Camara’s background is in music therapy.  He is a music teacher and has the soul of a great artist who gives to others his gift of brilliance. His improvisations are in my mind and ears the very best. Through the music he covers & his original work I  have discovered what music really does for us physiologically. If we pay attention we can learn,

To me it is significant in the way we are able to emote such feelings through a piece of music like this Gary Moore cover below interpreted by Pablo Camara. The music sensibilities & sensitivity it takes to improvise & improve with a different perspective than anyone else while creating something quite moving is phenomenal.  Focusing on the recognition that it is the creative energy that flows from such a well composed song with its many layers, I see that this is my inspiration for my own creative wings to fly. And I write. And I write some more cleansing my mind as I do.

With my friend’s full permission I want to share this music I am referring to that sets my wings a flight.  (for full credits see *below)

Maybe your wings will soar too.

This Gary Moore cover is my all time my favorite version. Which is saying something because I am a self- admitted Gary Moore snob. With Mr Camara showcasing all his chops; incredible riffs & vibrato, and the way he bends those 6 strings while working the fretboard is a pure blissful muse for my soul.

And my muse for writing.

The music we are able to connect with on different levels with someone else is remarkable. And it can become a compelling way to communicate and express feelings.  It can be a pretty healthy way I might add. The genre of blues does this for me, I hear those chords and get a lump in my throat.

I know that this means something in me needs to be explored, and possibly expressed in some way.

It’s music that inspires me.

It’s.music that plays to my soul.

It’s music that sings to my heart

And sometimes… it’s a blues cover from a friend.

Pablo Camara’s collection of covers & original music can be found on his YouTube  link @ http://www.youtube.com/user/polcamara/videos

 

Gracias mi querido amigo Pablo, tu regalo de esta música mece mi mundo.

Credits:

* GARY MOORE ¨The Messiah Will Come Again¨ (Roy Buchanan)
Album: After the War, 1989.
* Cover by Pablo Cámara.
Zárate, Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Backing track: http://soundcloud.com/pablo-camara-1/…

NO COPYRIGHT INTENDED. ALL RIGHTS REMAIN WITH ARTISTS AND RESPECTIVE LABEL/S ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY

Lecciones gratis de guitarra/Free guitar lessons: http://www.facebook.com/pablo.camara

Signature 2013

 

A Most Inspiring (award) Moment – You Are My Hero!

Today in my reader I am gingerly responding to charming and lovely comments from my followers and those  follow. A typical Monday morning for the Baroness. Luxury comes in many forms, one of them is reading what others are feeling about what you write, while the mirrored version of this is also being gifted with being able to read their thoughts and feelings on a myriad of topics from their blogs.

And then I open a particular alert for a comment on my post titled The Spoon Theory. I was not ready to be set back in my chair, with tears springing forth so fast I could not stop them if I had tried.

The comment that I found so emotional held an award for myself. But I believe the real message has little to do with me, or an award for me. Only the woman gifting me this would not see this. She is far too humble. and so very generous.

I’d like to take this award, this gift, of the Very Inspiring Award I just received and use it differently. Instead of passing more awards on to you my readers and followers ,I would like instead introduce you to one of my most treasured heroes.

2013 from Tersia

I want to honor the person who gifted this award to me. Tersia from her beautiful heart-broken blog TersiaBurger@ http://tersiaburger.com/

I thought at first this award I was going to accept in honor of her beloved daughter Vic, who lost her long battle with life this past winter.  Although it is true this is about her beautiful baby girl who blessed with her so much,  most of all her two fine grandsons who carry her daughters torch along with Tersia.

However  this feeling of being so overwhelmingly humbled by this award has so much to do with how Tersia is surviving. Yes, she is surviving and from her blog writing its obvious that she is working really hard to allow herself the gift to grieve for her precious daughter in her own way. As is right. As is just. ( Don’t let anyone else tell you how its done Tersia)

I want to celebrate Vic;s life here indeed,  I also want to honor her mothers generous soul. I can honestly say without exaggerating that I know not another like Tersia, who is a genuine & authentic woman whose soul is one I am easily able to relate to.  Both her heart and her soul.

I had the gracious gift of meeting Tersia & her beautiful Vic this last year through her writing on her blog. Chronic pain was the initial connection but it grew so quickly into something different.  I  was stunned by her raw honesty in how the most life altering of events of our world was unfolding in front of Tersia’s eyes and she has the goodness & unselfish thoughts to share with us. I know too it was also the cathartic process that she was writing firstly for.

In all honesty there was a time during Vic’s last days I had to stop reading Tersia’s blog. I was not being supportive as I would have liked to seen myself, but again Tersia knew this is part of that life cycle. She still accepted my friendship how it came. I love her for this.  I had long since stopped clicking “like” on her posts even though I love everything she wrote. I just could not click  “like” to a post that described the fact that her adult child was breaking vertebrae in her back from such violent vomiting. I just could not even think about clicking like although I might comment. I thought as a chronic pain patient myself I knew about chronic pain… I knew nothing. I mentioned both to Tersia because though I really am no one in the scheme of her life I still could not bear the thought she would feel someone had anyone had left her side during this time. She was losing her daughter, wasn’t that already too much?

Tersia as my hero for so many reasons. The tears are filling my eyes as today before I write this I read again Tersia’s posts about Vic’s last moments with her mum.

The fact is that in my country and my culture death is still seen as something to hide away from. I am not sure what your culture is like in this respect. I want you all to know neither Tersia and more importantly Vic did not hide Vic’s dying away from anyone. This is the most unselfish act I have ever witnessed. And that my friends is the gift of a lifetime. We share so much with one another about living life, yet when the most significant time in our lives is upon us we have no clue. No one shares because it is so painful. I get it. Yet when it is shared so openly as Tersia and Vic had done it’s a gift to be treasure and one day I will rely upon this gift for guidance.

But painful as it naturally it still is Tersia shares, and she does so with no regard to the possible negatives it can have on her own life because there are people who believe this is still a very private time. And I am not saying it’s not private, only that its nothing to hide. And Tersia proudly knows this.

There was never any loss of respect and dignity for Vic in Tersia’s sharing, instead just the opposite I believe from my distant stance.  Vic’s life being celebrated while she was alive, the things people felt about Vic were being shared lovingly with her and with her family. This feels like such a treasured time I can only imagine. I wish we had known this when my mother was dying.

There are so many reasons even as merely a blogging acquaintance I realize the cost this has taken on Tersia, yet its her convicted belief this was the right thing to do. So in case any of you are wondering….Yes! Tersia had Vic’s blessings to write whatever she needed. Vic knew of her mum’s blog, often Tersia would share comments with her but maybe not  the actual posts.

Tersia is my hero. I am in awe of her and humbled by her. I am also so completely enriched by all that she has taught me about loving, living, and dying. These gifts she brings and gives unknowingly what she is doing. She takes a life altering heart-break and turns into something that by her actions is filled such goodness I am still blown away by her generous honesty today.

So today with this award let me accept in honor of Tersia’s & her Beloved Vic.

Let me share with you these two most remarkable women’s struggles with living, and with dying.

Today let this award post be about honoring this very special daughter & mother I am so blessed to have the privilege of being part of my blogging world.

Today let Tersia Burger be my hero.

{ Dearest Tersia;  Simply now…Thank you for this award. The treasured moments & people you have taught me to be aware of are held fast and tight in this baroness’s heart.   You are truly one of them.

This music is because I know there are times you just need to be alone …… maybe this music might strike a chord and bring you some sense of peacefulness, even if just for a brief moment.

Please give yourself a little of Tersia’s gifts.. you’ll never be the same. http://tersiaburger.com/

Signature 2013

Become Your Own Change

Peace Knows Me

Peace begins inside of me
starting over, finally I am breaking free.
Peace begins inside of me
while I am opening my eyes and beginning to see
Peace begins with me
wondering what I’m gonna be
I do know Peace begins with me.
And knowing I no longer have to flee
and that Peace begins with me
that having the self dignity
to know Peace begins with me.
taking on more responsibility
this is why peace begins with me .    ~ (2013)

                                                    Not the post at all I intended here at this time, yet this is an expression of my own that timing took care of for me. The thoughts and ideals I share here are also shared by many, and are not unique to me. Every once in a while even the most upbeat and positive mentality can receive a crack in its armor. Resealing the crack up is not difficult, but it takes perseverance of a principled mind-set, and being surrounded by loving & healing energy to move beyond it and NOT let it become the normal. The principles I hope to master so that my wish to thrive while striving for a life of peaceful easy feelings and bliss will be my norm. It is with a strong purpose and intent I strive to live daily with these principles, this ideal, practicing this faith that sustains me.

Assimilating to living a peaceful life takes practice of which I hold out hope for that I will continue to be successful in all things possible. I always have carried hope in my heart and always will, even if I back pedal for brief moments. Practicing is a way of processing through a period of learning and growing. On practicing I have become quite adept of late, with seeds of new beginnings planted and waiting for a warm summer days to see them come into full  bloom.  Using this time, this winter of my soul to find the path that allows for safe navigation and passage to master those  peaceful and easy feelings in my life.

Carpe diem

If You Really Want To..you can too can seize the day

Eleven (11) thoughts on achieving that Peaceful Easy Feeling for Your Self:

1. Reduce your use of rational thinking

2. Listen to your intuition

3. Listen to your heart

4. Get the stuff off your mind

5. Meditate & Pray

6. Limit your information intake 

7. Read or listen to spiritual texts (not saying religious here. Key word is spiritual )

8. Eliminate unessential stuff

9. Don’t think too much about yourself

10. Do something for others

&

11. Slow down

Honor Yourself!

~ Let everything about me breath  calm & peace to  my soul. ~

I will be the change within my journey

towards creating the peace which begins in  me~

cyklopps-req

click to join

http://geetoni.wordpress.com/2012/11/15/now-taking-your-requests-2/