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Second night with RX sleep med Ambian CR. I am sure that my mind and thoughts are extremely altered. But I am not so altered that I am not able to recognize sleep when it does not come.
I am an Insomniac, and have been for over 45 yrs. Even before I had to add chronic pain, Connective Tissue Disease, Fibromyalgia, Spinal Stenosis, and a Cervical Fusion to my resume Insomnia had long been a running problem in my life. Treatments for all the above health issues always included treatment to help me sleep. If you are daily in pain, coping becomes paramount to survival. It becomes increasingly impossible to cope when you have not slept for days, weeks, months, or even years. When the coping skills are in the bucket the pain level is in the sky. I am overwhelmed.
The inability to sleep sounds so alien to many I’m sure. How often have I heard well-meaning tips that I prayed would be the ticket to slumberland. Just close your eyes, stop fighting it, a mug of warm milk, (may I just say, “YUCK!”) are all meant well. But have done nothing to get me to Mr Sandman.
So with increasing unmanaged pain and sleep being something that continues to evade me my pain doctor suggests AmbianCR. Okay, it’s been well over 10 yrs so maybe my reaction will be a positive one this time around. God knows I best be doing something because Failure to Sleep CAN KILL.
So back on the Ambian Express I travel.
Second night, same trip. I am awake and I am “high”on Ambian. What an awful experience. After the first night of feeling well knocked out; I thought as I climbed in between my nice cool sheets that sleep was going to be welcomed tonight. And it was for about two hours, the broken mind altered restlessness followed me throughout the night and only bringing unbroken sleep again an hour or so before the alarm went off. (preface this with my timing could be way off as I have no clock in my bedroom. I had to give up hour and minute watching a very long time ago.)
I am beginning to think that living through chemistry is not all it is cracked up to be. My mind is racing as usual but the stock car full, racing with my thoughts tonight feels like they are not my own. They are being altered by some drug, a drug that should allow you to sleep, not be on some random express of drug induced thinking instead. Kind of weird. Very bizarre experience for certain. It’s kind of like being drunk, It’s definitely not like sleep.
Very weird, very bizarre.