Tag Archive | relationships

The Taste of Bittersweet Prevenge

Image result for prevenge


“Get them before they get you.”

“Why wait until after you get screwed over? Practice prevenge, you will feel better.”

To name it is to tame it.

Every once in a while as a Lover of Words I am surprised when introduced to a new word or a new context in which a word is used. When such an event happens I am again happily (and with much contentment) reminded of how much of a love affair I have with words and the stringing of them together to express what our hearts and minds know.

Being taught a new word recently also taught me behind that word is a theory involving human nature and behavior that I knew but I never had a word for. A theory about the human behavior of agendas and motivations. I understand IT. 

I believe IT’S employed more often than we realize. IT leaves a bitterness in my throat I have difficulty swallowing. But IT is a reality. I have first hand experience with walking through life in a state of prevenge, and with those too who like me have used the tactics of prevenge.

As I understand “IT” aka “Prevenge” is an effective way to deter and deflect away from becoming involved with someone or a situation that comes with the risk of being hurt. In premeditation prevenge entails erecting emotional walls and defenses in preparation of being hurt – preparing to do the attacking hurting first…Prevenge. In the act of prevenge the person perceiving there is a possibility of being hurt engages in hurting first. In deciding to strike first the prevenger’s hope is their act will preemptively discredit and render impotent the effect of a hurtful act upon their self.

Apparently, although rarely recognized for what it is, prevenge is used frequently because it works. It works because most people are kind and wince at the thought that they are doing something unkind, immoral, or inconsiderate, we are reluctant to believe not all walk through life the same. The claims that there are those who are not alike in kindness melts our resolve, and we become receptive and surrender to feelings of self-doubt.

Prevenge is employed through all kinds of exchanges. When the prevenger suspects feelings are at risk of being hurt or feedisappointment they engage in tactics of prevenge, trying to deflect from being the one hurt…..first.

Tactics of Prevenge via deflection & deterrents. Attack.

The Wounded (“Why do you have to be so mean?”)

The Exasperated (“Oh boy, here we  go again.”)

The Preacher (“C’mon, show some respect.”)

The Weary (“Sigh. . . . “)

The Cold Shoulder (“Well,  that’s YOUR opinion.”)

The Misinterpretation (“Well, if you hate me, why didn’t you just come out and say so?”)

The Strategic Adviser (“You should have told me differently, at a different time, in a different place, with a different tone.”)

The Analyst (“You’re misguided.”)

The Upper Hand (“Oh, grow up.”)

The Well-Adjusted Humorist (“Geez, can’t you take a joke?!”)

The Mute (……… The silent treatment)

. . . among many others. There are situations certainly in which every response on the list is perfectly honorable, heartfelt, and appropriate. But it’s precisely why these responses can be counterfeited and used for prevenge.

Prevenge is among some of the most powerful and pervasive rhetorical human behavior tactics. Meaning “rhetorical,” in that it adds weight to any argument regardless of the argument’s intrinsic merit, but it’s a general-purpose, passive-aggressive persuader and a generic influencer. Rhetoric in that although effective going through life in a state of prevenge is disturbingly sad.

Quite effectively prevengers get a good grip on others and their actions and finding the threat of their emotional response credible. Credible because often their proffered emotional response seems natural or justifiable. Prevengers react first and without validation, their ultimate goal is to hurt before they’re hurt. Risking being wrong in their assumptions is simply collateral damage they willingly accept.

I can’t say prevenge is or is not necessarily wrong, every person and circumstance being different,  but it certainly is strong – strong, persuasive, and inherently compelling. So….when someone uses these tactics attempting to strengthen even their most indefensible demands the word wrong enters my consciousness.

This discovery (through a friend) of a word describing a prevalent human behavior has given me an awareness I didn’t have before. I recognized the behavior as soon as the word was explained to me, but prior I would have been hard-pressed to describe it in a word. Consequently I will be proactive at learning how best to avoid prevengers as well as (maybe more importantly) work to curtail my need for prevenging tactics.

I don’t want the bitter taste of prevenge keeping me from swallowing life, and I don’t want to miss out on life’s possibilities because they might be hard to swallow.





Lost & Pining

( Note: I started this post a few days ago but at the time could not             finish it. I am leaving it however in present tense. )                  
I missed something today.

I just couldn’t even put it into words, that which I was missing.
I just felt lost.
Today the silliest of things, brought the quickest of tears to my eyes.
t’s been a lovely but weird change in my life, one that has certainly let me be alone lone enough to now know more of what my mom’s life was like for her after raising her Family. Then finding herself living alone for the first time in her life.
Though I refuse to live my life with regret I do wish I had the foreshadow to know then what I know today.
Some Triggers for feelings and memories can come from the oddest sources. The connections not really apparent.
At least right away.
For instance the video that follows below, I actually watched and fell in love with this story over a year ago, and there was not the trigger then for me like there is today. Maybe there was. [shrugging shoulders]
But I just was not in a mind-set that heard or felt it, that is a real possibility because even today it took me hours to recognize where that feeling of lost was coming from. I shared the video with a group, I watched it again, and I was crying before and after,  crying through the entire story.
(It is a darling 16 minute story so worth watching)
I didn’t know why or where the tears were coming from. I can be a fairly emotional person I admit, but tears at the drop of an animated video? Tears blurring my vision when a friend shared how paralyzed he is musically because of grief?  I must be crying for his loss.
I thought.
 There were more tears. At every turn today I found myself weepy. The video only was the break in the dam of feelings. There was a disconnect I couldn’t attach to. What was happening emotionally to me?  I don’t cry over nothing.
  I said to myself;  “Self, you know maybe it is just the season and not feeling 100%.”
So many people struggle this time of year and feel disjointed,  they feel disconnected.
There was simply a feeling of being lost that I couldn’t put my finger on.
Like Pine must have felt.

Later while finally sending my daughter a song I’d discovered last week I heard at least a dozen times it was never from the perspective that I heard  today. 
A connection to the tear drops  for me was made through lyrics. 
If you know anything about me you will know that I use music in my life to communicate, to process, and sometimes to navigate life. It’s who I always have been.
Sending my daughter a song is not at all an unusual thing. We share a similar taste in a lot of music, and it’s especially true regarding Beth Hart‘s music. Her lyrics, her style, they are significantly important to both of us.
I will link the pertinent song for convenience:   http://youtu.be/s-h7O0JYLu4
Listening to the song again I heard it from the perspective of a daughter for the first time. I knew then right away what my tearful day was about.
I miss my mom. Simple as that.
My Mom: Penny Taylor  (18 yrs old)mom
In sharing my feelings with my youngest daughter who I was sending the song I told her that ‘mom’s’ typically are the one person in our lives who really do love us no matter what or who we are. It had finally hit me, finally it occurred to me that this is what my loss was about. No matter what choices I made in my life my mom always supported me. I always felt loved by my mom even when maybe I didn’t deserve to be. That unconditional love that only a mother can give.
How awesome that my emotions were mixed between those for my daughter, and those for my mom.
I think this might be part of my life’s full-circle.

You Can’t Direct The Wind But You Can Direct Your Sails

I have been spending quite a bit of my attention lately on focusing & reflecting on human relationships; This has brought me a realization that we as humans attract what our souls need during particular times in our lives, I know it’s not an original thought on my part, it just struck me recently that even those interactions that I see now as toxic still brought lessons I needed desperately to learn. I’ll not see this as regrets.

That someone you are with at any given time is bringing to your spirit just what it is you need to learn from that particular interaction,That someone will bring out in you those life lessons necessary to find your own truths and authenticity. 

Depending on the level
of intimacy (directing your own tailwinds) will dictate how vulnerable you will allow yourself to be with another .And frankly with yourself. But if we remember that everything we see in another is exactly what we are needing to see in ourselves it might allow us more emotional investment’s.
Mirroring those vulnerabilities with kindness toward not just others but just as importantly towards “Self” helps to get connected in ways that will feed our spirit. And in turn we help feed others.

If we can look upon our relationships with this in mind it can become a natural flow to then find a true kindness towards our self and towards others. Kindness that may very well be the remedy for so much in our own small world of worlds. It merely needs to start within and for ourselves.
Before we convince ourselves that there is nothing a given interaction can bring to our lives we might want to stop, reflect, & examine. Being mindful that which we see in another is just what we need to see in ourselves equates to Life Lessons.
No judgements.
No blame.
Just is.
Past and current relationships in my life have become life lessons intertwined with those interactions. During times when I couldn’t see the light at the end of ANY tunnel it has become my saving grace knowing that I am able to see the light shine with the much-needed warmth from someone else.
In someone else I find the lessons reflected in what I need to know to live more authentically.
 I didn’t always have the grace to direct my sails towards a rocky harbor.  
When presented with a behavior (rocky harbor) or a way of thinking by another that feels conflicted within my own scruples I balked. I judged. I certainly was not feeling abundant unconditional love & kindness.
Now with more emotional intelligence I know this is mirroring hat which I still must still learn. 
Learning to live with abundant love for others and for our selves is a kindness we are all worthy of finding, and though we may tend to think of being kind to our selves as something akin to being self-centered… it’s truly not.
Through the interactions with relationships in our life we can learn the fine arts of unconditional love, forgiveness, and the kindness of acceptance. Even the negatives we find in relationships can bring the positives if we see them as life lessons.
Trust me, I am not suggesting abusive behavior, intolerance, and judgement of others are that of which we should ever accept. I definitely do not advocate for staying in any relationship that is harmful to you physically, emotionally and/or spiritually. I do though know from personal experience that even in this type of relationship there was a great value in the lessons about myself I learned. I choose now to see it as such, rather than hold on to the resentment & anger that only starves my spirit.
Like the four key points o a compass these four key points will help direct your emotional sails
Unconditional Love.
Unconditional Forgiveness.
Unconditional Kindness.
Unconditional Acceptance.
There is an authentic grace knowing the great wisdom of practicing these four directions. Others will see the light in our faces when we are loving in these directions without any conditions,
If we can know this and trust this it helps release the light inside of any personal entanglement;;illuminating the shadows. It can take us to wonderful heights, the ups and downs of navigating any relationship. It just might become apparent that these ups and downs can bring us clarity & strength.
These ups and downs help us to remain grounded and balanced.
We might ask ourselves; what it is that our soul is longing to discover from each person who comes into our lives? It can bring into focus that it really is all about love being the mainstay that feeds what our souls need. To not be so leery or too cautious of what these interactions will bring us leaves our hearts and our minds open.
Embracing the shining lights we may see ins eyes of others, being open to what messages they hold allows our hearts be open, and we feel more approachable to the person we are connecting with. There is always wisdom for our spirits within each other  and the beauty of this is we need no special tools or training to receive and accept these. The things we see in another are maybe the most important things we can pay attention to. The kinds of things that touch our hearts if we just tap in. This very well can bring us that sense of being complete, and allows us to surround our lives with the presence of unconditional love with a genuine authenticity
My life lessons now includes this big paradox about the relationships in my life, that they in fact depend very much on the relationship I have with myself. These relationships that are so significant for me are mirrors of myself, they reflect not only how I am seen by others., but how I see myself.  And that’s pretty cool.
There is always a choice which path to take in our journey so that which our spirit is searching for our authentic self will lead us to.  As if by instincts, if we quiet ourselves, and open our heart every time we feel lost, If we listen, if we engage with others they can bring to our spirits love & life lessons that shape who we are..
If we share openly with those who we surround our small worlds we create deep spiritual connections.
Connections with the human spirit bringing us ever closer to living a life of authenticity, we will find that in knowing our self so intimately that we can become the master of our own destiny.




Signature 2013


Sometimes Angels Sing..

Sometimes Angels Sing To You In The Wind…
And sometimes even from cyber-space I can hear singing… like angels in the wind.

Least anyone reading, writing, or even talking about blog author’s should suggest that this is not community of genuine and caring people they would need to make an appointment to see me; so I may enlighten them.
I have angels come sing to me, disguised by their blogs, behind their songs (words & photograph’s) are the most beautiful & generous people I have ever found.. in any space, let alone it be cyber-space. These angels are just as important to me as those in my real time’ community. 
I know you know who you are, so naming names won’t be necessary. 
If I had a song for every time my heart has been touched by your own words, your own shares in these last 3 years my heart would be a House of Music. I have gained valuable lessons from shares between us.
I have laughed with you, I have cried with you, as you have me. 
I have found great comfort in knowing when the chips are down, or when I am walking up in the clouds, or just even living life on an even keel, I need to look no further than to have the sense of this never-ending support & encouragement. I need look no farther than this Word Press community. And you.
While reading a thought-provoking article about relationships from a blogger who is a kindred spirit to this Barefoot Baroness I thought about these friendships here in this blogging world that have become so significant for me. The Wise Counsel of this post about relationships is just a perfect explanation in how we can interact with each other in our relationships. I had been contemplating writing my gratitude recently for you, for your devoted support & encouragement when I read this blog. It was my prompt. You are my muse. It was the perfect segue into what I wanted & needed to say here. (Thank you TeeCee)
Wise Counsel’s essay on relationships is a thought-provoking piece. I often find myself nodding in agreement with what this blogger so eloquently shares. This post & his masterfully written blog can be found @ http://teeceecounsel.wordpress.com/2013/08/17/wise-counsel-on-relationships/
Relationships & the communications between others matters a lot to me, I see this as a gift when we find relationships where we can give & receive raw, transparent; and open sharing, The possibilities of shared experiences enrich our emotional intelligence ten-fold. 
As for me, the relationships where the interaction with one another is reciprocal are the most rewarding relationships that I am a part of.  Emotional investment between two people is the foundation of a genuine friendship.
Absolute authentic relationships are what helps feed my soul. and in my mind are the most treasured kind. They should be protected and nurtured.
I hope in some way I have given back to you a sense of support and encouragement, this sincere feeling of the friendship that I feel from you every time you visit.
I hope that you find something significant in our relationship too.
Thank you my lovelies,  you my community,  for being all that you are. 
For you are my friends ~






Unspent Anger


So what do you do with it? That kind anger that rolls around inside your heart giving you great reason to give pause. The kind that then causes me to ask if I am such a nice person, how can I hold anger in my heart for someone and still claim to be of goodness? I know the spiritual answer, Have That Down Pat. Don’t I?  It’s the emotional baggage that is a residual effect of unspent anger that I find I question.

Spending anger usually feels pretty good.  Awe,,, now come on… admit it. Even if it is just in the moment of the storm, isn’t that so sweet?  I have been known to enjoy a few “spout offs” as my grandmother would say. And don’t you know ladies; we as women folk should not get mad, angry or other wise upset. WE just should not, and definitely not in mixed company, God forbid. I say this tongue in cheek but; because I think it is a part of the background in many women’s cases that are near me generationally it has a valid point. (I’m sure that is not a legal word but I so like it)

Spent anger is a great release, it rids your body of the pent-up adrenalin just like that, it’s gone! Leaving instead the type of hangover relative to  that particular angst.

I’m curious what others do though. When you have reached a point in life where you have taught yourself not to engage and for the most part, this works really well. It helps to keep the limited contact you must have doable. Most of the time.

But when there are rare occurrences  how do you cope? what do you do?

I could get all caught up in the whys of being angry and start placing blame.Building more miserable history. I’d rather not though. I see it as a complete waste of energy which I could other wise direct back into the matter of living my life. But doing this and ridding myself of unspent anger are two completely different things. I refuse also to have to carry this anger around. It’s mine, I own it. Why not with do with it what I want?

I know it’s just a matter of finding a healthy way of releasing these emotions caused by my feelings that are involved. I have the Emotional Intelligence to work it out if I only give myself a chance. No knee jerk reactions need apply.

My release is words for sure, but not at someone, or about someone. The words that work for me are about feelings. This.

I put on some great music which today does not require having to change vinyl albums, flip them, or being called to the turn table over and over so I can listen to the great music of my life. I had no clue  however about the love affair I would soon be  having with YouTube…… Fabulous!! { A smiling shout-out to my maestro for this }

My way of dispensing that Unspent Anger in a healthy way has become more refined as I travel my journey in this universe. Today I load a play list on my laptop, not another thought is needed for the music. I usually turn it up loud for this purpose so I can feel the music tear into my soul. I bring up a fresh word page, blank space to fill with all that Unspent Anger. A perfect combination.

Rarely do these  written pieces go anywhere.. they are anything from hurt feelings to all out rage. Typically these pieces will be trashed after serving their purpose. Thankfully my blank white space can take it the abuse I throw at it. And it does not respond in like so getting IT ALL OUT is a sure thing. I am ever grateful for that.

I will listen to a song that really moves me, touches my soul deeply just as this Rascal Flatts tune above did for me today. I sing it loud and bold in a room with the best acoustics in the house, and I harmonize the anger away. I cannot tell you what song, most work any time, Some will speak louder to me on one day than the next. Mood is everything with music. And like magic music eases anger out of me just as if I was being played. Easing the words into a more mellow cadence.. my typing slows down….until finally… the words have spent the anger right on out of me. I must admit it is a marvelous technique that has taken me years to hone. And all along the journey has been amazing music.

Now it is your turn. Tell me how you deal with Unspent Anger. Or are you one of those brilliant people who can speak about their fury at the time of? I’m in admiration of you. I am unable to do so and consequently my hissy fits occasionally seem in the end to bite back.  So I will continue on singing and writing.

I’d love for you to share. Tag you  are it!

What is that you do with Unspent Anger? How do you tame it?

This Inquiring Baroness wants to know.


When Daughters Become Mothers Too

I have a serious question for you:

(and then a brief piece of sharing)

If you have an adult daughter or daughter-in-law in your life who is herself a mother now, do you acknowledge her on Mothers Day?

 If so, how? 

And if you do not; can you please share with me what your belief is about this?

It’s been over 35 years since my husband & I were gifted with our two daughters. While they were growing up Mother’s Day for me always started on Friday evening after getting home from work, and lasting until bedtime Sunday night. Mother’s Day. As the Queen for the weekend I would be pampered, cherished, and able to do whatever it was I pleased. This included where and what I wanted to eat, and when of course. My food choices varied over the years depending on cravings and our growing family budget.  The weekend start would find my daughters and husband in cahoots and great secrecy planning my weekend. My Mother’s Day would always began with our two girls  bringing toast, orange juice, and with the help of their daddy, coffee and my mom’s fruit salad to me in bed. The girls were not allowed to use the stove in those early days of Breakfast In Bed;  albeit hot breakfasts could never hold a candle to the beautiful tray my babies would set for me. Having both my mom and my mom in law represented on the tray with a vase and linen napkins that were once theirs helped some with  my own mom being a distance away. Wee would typically just be able to talk on the phone on Mother’s Day which did help me to feel nearer to her.  Always the girls would find the coolest and most different foliage to create a bouquet to adorn the tray,along with the cloth napkins and my Sunday paper. (Advertisements always removed) the girls would quietly knock on the door and creep in singing in their light & lyrical little peeping voices: “Happy Mothers Day Mommy!! “

This weekend I realize its been about 19 years ago our daughter #1 gifted our family with an angel. My first baby gave me a gift that I had been waiting for all my life. Since childhood I had always wanted to be a grandmother, I could not wait to be a grandma and even as young as 4 years old I remember play acting with mybaby dolls as their Nana. Somehow as a small child the whole logistic issue of needing to be a mommy first  skipped my reasong ( But that desire did in fact come later) 

The week in 1992 that  we learned my own mother was dying of terminal – final stages  -of lung cancer. Simply stated I was devastated. It had been just a year prior that we had moved back to my hometown bringing us just  5 minutes away from her. God works in some amazing ways.  That week while we trying to go on with every day living and managing my own mom dying we received a phone call from Iwukuni Japan. This was where our daughter #1 was stationed with her Marine Corps Jarhead husband. Calls from Japan were luxuries, and we had just spoke the day before. Somewhat feeling a sense of walking through fog as I listened on speaker phone as our daughter #1 told us that we were to become grandparents together. Finally. ( My husband at the time already had 4 grandchildren. I am not his 1st wife, but am his last) It was the most exciting news we had heard since the news of her own impending birth and that of her sisters.  The bitter-sweetness of discovering the news that I was to lose my mom and be blessed with a grandchild-  all in the same week – was almost too much to bear. But very soon I saw that my grandchild is my angel – heaven-sent. A baby girl we would learn a few month later through her very first photograph. That of an ultra-sound.

Just about 6 years later our immediate family was to grow by two more feet. Our daughter #2 blessed us with our 2nd grand baby from our own tiny family. This now would make 7 in total with D.”s five grand children who are just as much mine. (We’re currently at the count and the wonder of 8 grand children and one great grand baby boy)  Our daughter #2 gifted this Nana with her only grandson. Its been such an exciting thing watching this young man grow from infant to young man (12 yrs of age) I did not meet my step son until he almost 9 yrs of age, all those early years when a child is forming the “who” they are to become I was not privy to. Having the absolute gift and delight of getting this chance to see a baby boy become a vibrant giving back to the world young man is pretty special.

My two daughters who I think about daily, and rarely does a day go by that I don’t hear from one or both have made my adult years the best part of my life. I never have had to question who I am, or what I was doing with my life because I knew. I knew then and I know now that my children are the best work of my life. I know that my husband & I have gifted our family’s, this world, and our communities with two of the brightest and most outwardly giving young women I am proud to know. Their own personal successes are not limited to, but most assuredly include the gifts of our two grandchildren. My lights.

My mother never acknowledged me on Mothers Day. It was her day. I never actually gave it a thought. Even when my own daughters became new mommy’s and I celebrate their mommyhood on Mother’s Day it never occurred to me that I could be creating a bit of a tiff in my family. Actually that is not so, it was with my son in  laws family. His mother, my daughter #1’s mother in law believed I was committing a sacrilege by honoring my daughters also on Mother’s Day. She felt it was taking away something from the elder mothers and that it just should not take place. Although beyond that her tongue always seemed tied on this point.

I was never on the fence about this issue personally. I continue to celebrate this holiday that is perfectly intended to honor my daughters just as much as it is to honor my late mother, and mother – in -law. I am still  quiteb affled by my daughter’s now ex-mother -in laws’ ttitude and beliefs. It has never been something I can reconcile myself with. I don’t know why these small acts on my own to celebrate the fact that my female children are mothers too. I think its quite a sweet thing being able to share thos wonder of Motherhood with my now dult dauughters who are now also mommy’s. An amazing way to bond, another gift of bonding material for us to work with.

 So, what about you?  Do you celebrate your own children’s parenting on Mothers and Fathers Day?  Please share. I really am curious about this question.

And while I am writing about my two beautiful babies who are in my alter ego version of themselves now adult women with babies of their own I want to publicly celebrate the incredible ways of their own parenting, that of which I adore. You are both excellent parents with amazing memories you have and are creating for your own children. Your babies who are the next generational gifts to this world – from you both.

 Happy Mother’s Day A & J:  from your daddy & your mommy~ Thank you both!!  

This is for you both~

I love that you loved all of my “art”

though I’m sure it was uglier than a pile of warts.

From pottery to painting to paper mache,

you even liked that drawing of me and Nick Lachey.

But, come on, at this point it’s all older than vintage,

so I think it’s time to take it down from the fridge.

©tjhelser 2012

Good Bye Fifty-Six

last hurrah


plural ∼ -rahs

 [count]  : a last effort, production, or appearance  ▪ The movie was his last hurrah. [=it was the last movie that he appeared in]

Saying Good bye to 56 was not hard.  Looking 57 in the eye hard, yet still my last expressions of 56 was spent doing what my 50’s so surprisingly have delighted me with. Turning 50 was a gift, one that each year I celebrate with passion. It’s not an easy thing to reconcile with when your mind, heart & soul,  feel no less than the 30 and yet your body screams it’s not as easy as it seems.
I’m a young spirited person, believing that age is a frame of mind not some chronological state.
It’s a bit strange this saying “so long” to 56. Should there not be whistles and horns? I’ve now been married longer than I was ever in my parents home. Does that not count for something?
 But so not necessary when the “so – long” being shared is one including a welcome and a goodbye. I’m having the best hurrah of my life.
Saying hello to 57 is the sureness of myself. If not now, than when?
Taking command at 57 is not too late. It comes with more wisdom than I’d have had at even say 56.
My birthday day is the 14 of the month.
I am becoming more and more confident that sometimes I forget about the people around me.  If I have to be on one of the two teams, I will choose to be on the winning team. On the other hand, I am kind and caring and above all I care for all the right reasons.
My imagination is unique and often gets implemented shortly after the thoughts. Not trusting in second guesses I move forward when I can.
I love fiercely and passionately. This is who I am and I make no apologies for this.
Birthday’s signify that you are born again in the new entity the following year. A year when Spirit can guide you to a higher place. A place where honoring Him, and a time of grace has filled my heart of 57 years with much grace & overwhelming

Be Positive and Add 7.5 Years to Your Life: They Say~

Research shows that how you perceive aging affects how long you will live. In a study of 660 people, those with more positive perceptions of their own aging lived an average of 7.5 years longer. This effect remained after other factors such as age, gender, income, loneliness and health status were controlled.

So  I have this down it seems. I’ll gladly take the additional 7.5 yrs. Relieved that my annual doctors visit was met with good results and nothing this 57 yr old body is choosing to do is getting in my way.

Good bye 56. Good morning 57!

Still rocking out today~