Tag Archive | Mental health

You Can’t Direct The Wind But You Can Direct Your Sails

I have been spending quite a bit of my attention lately on focusing & reflecting on human relationships; This has brought me a realization that we as humans attract what our souls need during particular times in our lives, I know it’s not an original thought on my part, it just struck me recently that even those interactions that I see now as toxic still brought lessons I needed desperately to learn. I’ll not see this as regrets.

That someone you are with at any given time is bringing to your spirit just what it is you need to learn from that particular interaction,That someone will bring out in you those life lessons necessary to find your own truths and authenticity. 

Depending on the level
of intimacy (directing your own tailwinds) will dictate how vulnerable you will allow yourself to be with another .And frankly with yourself. But if we remember that everything we see in another is exactly what we are needing to see in ourselves it might allow us more emotional investment’s.
Mirroring those vulnerabilities with kindness toward not just others but just as importantly towards “Self” helps to get connected in ways that will feed our spirit. And in turn we help feed others.

If we can look upon our relationships with this in mind it can become a natural flow to then find a true kindness towards our self and towards others. Kindness that may very well be the remedy for so much in our own small world of worlds. It merely needs to start within and for ourselves.
Before we convince ourselves that there is nothing a given interaction can bring to our lives we might want to stop, reflect, & examine. Being mindful that which we see in another is just what we need to see in ourselves equates to Life Lessons.
No judgements.
No blame.
Just is.
Past and current relationships in my life have become life lessons intertwined with those interactions. During times when I couldn’t see the light at the end of ANY tunnel it has become my saving grace knowing that I am able to see the light shine with the much-needed warmth from someone else.
In someone else I find the lessons reflected in what I need to know to live more authentically.
 I didn’t always have the grace to direct my sails towards a rocky harbor.  
When presented with a behavior (rocky harbor) or a way of thinking by another that feels conflicted within my own scruples I balked. I judged. I certainly was not feeling abundant unconditional love & kindness.
Now with more emotional intelligence I know this is mirroring hat which I still must still learn. 
Learning to live with abundant love for others and for our selves is a kindness we are all worthy of finding, and though we may tend to think of being kind to our selves as something akin to being self-centered… it’s truly not.
Through the interactions with relationships in our life we can learn the fine arts of unconditional love, forgiveness, and the kindness of acceptance. Even the negatives we find in relationships can bring the positives if we see them as life lessons.
Trust me, I am not suggesting abusive behavior, intolerance, and judgement of others are that of which we should ever accept. I definitely do not advocate for staying in any relationship that is harmful to you physically, emotionally and/or spiritually. I do though know from personal experience that even in this type of relationship there was a great value in the lessons about myself I learned. I choose now to see it as such, rather than hold on to the resentment & anger that only starves my spirit.
Like the four key points o a compass these four key points will help direct your emotional sails
Unconditional Love.
Unconditional Forgiveness.
Unconditional Kindness.
Unconditional Acceptance.
There is an authentic grace knowing the great wisdom of practicing these four directions. Others will see the light in our faces when we are loving in these directions without any conditions,
If we can know this and trust this it helps release the light inside of any personal entanglement;;illuminating the shadows. It can take us to wonderful heights, the ups and downs of navigating any relationship. It just might become apparent that these ups and downs can bring us clarity & strength.
These ups and downs help us to remain grounded and balanced.
We might ask ourselves; what it is that our soul is longing to discover from each person who comes into our lives? It can bring into focus that it really is all about love being the mainstay that feeds what our souls need. To not be so leery or too cautious of what these interactions will bring us leaves our hearts and our minds open.
Embracing the shining lights we may see ins eyes of others, being open to what messages they hold allows our hearts be open, and we feel more approachable to the person we are connecting with. There is always wisdom for our spirits within each other  and the beauty of this is we need no special tools or training to receive and accept these. The things we see in another are maybe the most important things we can pay attention to. The kinds of things that touch our hearts if we just tap in. This very well can bring us that sense of being complete, and allows us to surround our lives with the presence of unconditional love with a genuine authenticity
My life lessons now includes this big paradox about the relationships in my life, that they in fact depend very much on the relationship I have with myself. These relationships that are so significant for me are mirrors of myself, they reflect not only how I am seen by others., but how I see myself.  And that’s pretty cool.
There is always a choice which path to take in our journey so that which our spirit is searching for our authentic self will lead us to.  As if by instincts, if we quiet ourselves, and open our heart every time we feel lost, If we listen, if we engage with others they can bring to our spirits love & life lessons that shape who we are..
If we share openly with those who we surround our small worlds we create deep spiritual connections.
Connections with the human spirit bringing us ever closer to living a life of authenticity, we will find that in knowing our self so intimately that we can become the master of our own destiny.

 

 

 

Signature 2013

 

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Wives Bare Skin for Soldiers

This was not the post I had planned. Yet I saw a trailer for this that a friend sent me and once I saw this I knew it trumped the award post I have waiting in my drafts. You will understand why. 

Military wives bare skin, souls, to

fight PTSD

By HLNtv.com Staff
updated 7:15 AM EDT, Fri October 05, 2012
NEED TO KNOW

  • Battling Bare facebook page gives military wives and families a unique way to battle the stigma of post traumatic stress disorder

Broken by battle Wounded by war
My love is forever To you this I swore
I will quiet your silent screams Help heal your shattered soul
Until once again my love You are whole

Ashley Wise become desperate trying to find help on base for her husband who was suffering with PTSD.  “I felt like streaking on the general’s lawn,” she tells Julie Bruck of HLN affiliate WSMV, “because maybe then a naked woman would get attention.”

Instead she started a photo campaign, taking a photo of herself with the pledge you see above written on her naked back and posting it online.  Now over 26,000 people have liked the Battling Bare facebook page, and new images like the one Ashley took are being submitted every day.

Wise said her mission is to ensure, “that the stigma of PTSD goes away, and people talk about it.  In talking there’s healing.”

To learn about submitting a picture of your own to Battling Bare visit: facebook.com/BattlingBare

Music Credit:
Born To Be Wasted provided by the band 009 Sound System

Full Version here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETe6cnv-a50

Share Your World Week 26 ~ Whoopee!!

My dear Family, Friends, & last, but certainly not the least; Blogging family & Readers,

With great joy in more heart from relief that this week finally came and has now passed without any drama I am still into sharing with you all how much I am grateful for. This has been a trying month in the baroness’s castle, and through the support and love from family and friends we made it through. Much more in my life than my own personal health issues were going on behind the scenes of which I write. Because this is MY Blog; and as you all know I rarely speak of my family, and if I do it is in subtle discussion. My family and close friends are private people and I have no intentions of breaking into their space no matter how much I care about what is happening in their lives and would love to write about it because that is what I do, Write. No matter what it could be about. This is just about the personal code of conduct I placed on myself for writing so publicly. I have become quite adept at this as my book holds no names or apparent connections to what I am writing about, even though it is a very autobiographic kind of story. NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT. AND  SOMETIMES EVEN THE NOT SO INNOCENT!

I have been focused so much of late on myself when writing here. I am grateful to have such a platform to write and get feedback from. I cannot say again in any more of a sincere expression just how much YOUR  support and love I have found here means to me. I need to say that although my fingers seem to have been focused selfishly on just what is happening to me I do have people I live with, and live close by in proximity and in heart. These people whom I love all have things going in their lives as well. I will not detail any of it because of privacy but let me say this:

While I was seeming to be alone engrossed in “My Stuff” I want and need you to know I am aware, will never forget what it is that you are living. God has a plan for each of us, and part of that plan for me is to be part of your life in any way I can. Part of that plan is to stand beside you no matter when or what it is you are dealing with that life throws at you. Or what you threw back at life. You have illness, disease, emotional health. finances, parenting issues, chores, life,  all to contend with and my prayers are always full of thanks and grace for that  which is brought to you in your need. I also keep you in my prayers and thoughts, asking that you be lifted from that which holds you back,  and I ask that you be free so that you can be the empowerment of love to all that you see and come near. Although my focus may have outwardly seemed only on myself,  please know that not an hour goes by that at least  one of you does not flood my thoughts and my heart. I love you and hold you close to my heart  always. Nothing you can do, or not do, will ever change that. Nothing CAN ever change that. It’s the one thing in life I HAVE to do beside pay taxes and die. And that only one thing may seem so daunting, but it truly is not. My job to bring you love and a safe place to fall, it is as easy as pie. Because you make it so. You make loving you a celebration. A celebrayion of you and of God’s love and mercy. It’s not so daunting at all.

Thank you once again my Huge Wide World of Family. Inclusive is a good thing, and I am so grateful to have been included in your thoughts and prayers. What a very blessed Baroness I am.

Bare feet and all!

Now on to Share Your World – Week 26!  Oh Yeah!

If you like what you are reading in as far as the questions go, and the challenge seems to inspires you I would like to suggest that you join us. It’s a great thing to look forward to each week. It is one of the best ways I have come across to get to know a room full of people. It’s just fun!

So let us pretend for a while that we are all sitting around a room,… No!! Wait!!  It’s spring or summer all over this world, almost anyway…so lets get together this week in a lovely park. Water is trickling down a stream nearby. Kids in the distance playing tag, frisbee, hackeysac or whatever it is kids play today. We will sit around  in a circle feeling the green grass underneath our feet. Take your shoes and socks off  if you have not done so all ready and wiggle those toes in to that earthy green turf.  One by one we will share, going around the circle, looking into one another’s faces.. sharing…smiling, loving….. ….OOPS!!! 

I’m up…..

  • 1. What made you smile today?

My first thoughts when I see these words that question me is to say, ” Why, You of course!” And it is true. For it is those of you who have been taking the time out of your wicked busy lives to read my humble words. How important in your world does that leave me to feel?  Quite a lot actually and I am most grateful for the reassurance that your loving support gives me. For which without I may have split a long time ago.

My answer than shall be a simple word that makes me smile today. That word is Grace. The grace I find in your friendship, The grace I find in knowing that you find my words worthy of a read today, grace that I find in simple gratitude for support of the likes I have never known before this. Grace in medical procedures that help a person find there place again in the world. Grace for family that stands together no matter how thick it may become.Grace for the simple things in life that help bring a smile to the heart and to the lips. Grace. I even love the way it sounds and feels when spoken. Grace. A perfect word.

The very word; Grace helps me smile today!

  •   2. Have any hidden talents?

Hidden? Hmm.. this is a tough one Cee!  I am going to go with that I used to sing lead and back up vocals in a band before meeting my husband. My hidden talent today would be that I can sing. Or, I used to be able to sing quite nicely even if I say so. I grew up with both parents being musically inclined. My dad sang, he even performed on a local radio show before I was born, in the late 1940’s. I heard stories about it that I just ate up like it was dessert. He also played several instruments. My mom also could play anything string, and she sang like a songbird,  She could also she whistle a lovely melody which I coveted and could never learn. Both my brothers, one older, and one younger are musicians. My little one being the one who has gone on from our childhood dreams and which has kept music as his main passion in life. He has a band to this day, one for which at one time in my life I managed and even produced a CD of all their original music. They recorded no copy tunes. My Baby Bro being the song master authoring most of their playlist. It was a way to let me keep my foot in the door of a musicians life, and have a family which came first. It was fun…. It was exhausting. It reminded me how much my disease has affected my life once again.  Only to share details do I share this; I could sing well until I had the TMJ jaw surgery. Prior and even after the implant surgery my range of motion for opening and closing my mouth was limited. To this day it still is, some days my jaws are locked opened. Some days it is locked closed, Mostly every day I just cannot open it wide enough to even yawn. This means hitting some notes, or octaves, and then holding them is next to impossible for me. Or at least impossible to create the sound I once knew as mine. To stay in the world of music and to keep my family was important to my life, as they are today. So when our girls were young in order to still sing I auditioned for and was accepted to study and perform with the University of Oregon’s Women’s Chorale Society. It was after some time with them that I had to admit that even with specific exercises  I could not get those notes out .No matter how I trained and worked those muscles in my mouth, face, and jaws would not unlock to reach the notes I needed to reach. I resigned the choir. Then I was offered a management position to keep one foot in the door of the world I loved. Thanks to my Baby Bro.  I have to add hear that living the life of a musician is not always so family oriented. For those reasons my Baby Bro and his Band Mates knew that I had an in with the business in town and that promoting is what I do well.  Shhh.. Local Artists promotion is a secret passion of mine. But it was several months later that the late night performances for which it was necessary to attend caught up with me and my disease. The not getting in until sometimes 5am because a gig would run till the venue closed was cool by my husband, but not by my body. It resisted and kicked back leaving me feel much like a hangover had descended upon me only without  the benefit of the drunk the night before. Since I do not drink this began to trouble me. I had to be there at the gigs; the unpacking & packing up gear, winding down time as a band together, all these things and more go into a one night performance. I would do the sound checks, the lighting checks, advocating for my band with the house management, making sure the band had what they all needed, making sure they were paid at the end of the night which always meant waiting until the door count was made. Being there early & late were required. It all caught up with me telling me in no uncertain terms that music other than listening to was gone from my would. That light went out. 

  •    3.  Are you usually late, early, or right on time?

On time, or a bit early. I have a pet peeve and that is people in my life running on their time. We have a very good friend. Very special friend. He will know that I am speaking of him by this tale as will everyone else in the tribe he knows. I am detracting from the very policy I expressed above about privacy, but in this case I know I will be forgiven with a touch to inspire me for much more  He is a rebel. Our good friend has his own set of rules when it comes to time. So much so that we have nick named it  ******- Time. In any event or circumstance where this person’s presence is required or expected we inform him of the time, but we always give him a time which is at least an hour earlier than everyone else. If not we can count on him being late. It infuriates me if I let it. but we have been friends for over 42 years and this is so not a deal breaker. Just an annoyance. So long ago this in my attempt to fix how I view having someone show up late, this is how his own time zone came to be. I could either think of it as being a statement that I am not important enough to be on time, or I could see it as I believe it is. Our friend sees this as his right to live by his own rules concerning time. And who am I to deny him that right? Yeah he could complicate things, and does for many. But we love him and since there was not going to be any fixing on his part what choice do we have?  He after all had nothing to change, it is the rest of the world who is EARLY. The rest of the world that is not on ***** – Time. 

It is all about perceptions after all, don’t you agree?

  • 3. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

I am much like Cee in my belief here about the BIG difference between being alive and truly living. I have had the gift of doing both, so that I am able today to realize what the difference is. And simply that there is a big difference. I think back so long ago – prior to the fact that “DISEASE” entered my life. It was a lifetime ago. While thinking about the differences in truly living and that of being alive I think back to almost 29 years ago when I was a well person. How much energy I had, nothing could get in my way and keep me from doing as I pleased. Although I was alive then was I truly living?  I’d like to think so, but how mindful of the fact was I?  Not much at all of that I am certain.

Being prayerful and mindful of the fact that although I am living with disease I am also thriving to my very best capabilities and then some. I get to where I know I am headed, towards a day of  living a life with some meaning, some grace, so gratitude and some sense of wonder. To go into a new day with my feet being planted squarely on the floor, having my eyes wide open for new lessons of wisdom, new colors to ignite my soul, and interactions with those I love brings me a day filled with intentions and love.

Who could ask for anything more?  Fo me, the real difference between being alive and truly living is being mindful that my intentions are to thrive. Not just exist, or live, but to actually thrive…to live with purpose and intent.

Disease be damned! Mountain move outta my way…. I got me some thriving to do!!

Now it is your turn. Next!

Come on, don’t be shy. To find the park where we sit and answer the questions that our fabulous and brilliant facilitator creates each week for us. You can find us on Cee’s blog at:  http://ceeslifephotographyblog.wordpress.com/2012/06/02/share-your-world-week-26/#comment-6151

We would love for you to join the circle. Please Don’t Wait Until Next Week. Come on in, the water is just perfect!

©tjhelser2012