Tag Archive | friendships

Truth Be Told- (Dedicated to Ken Nelson RIP)

Dedicated to the spirit of my much-loved friend and brother music man.

Ken, I wish I had gotten on the bus. Rest easy now.

Ken E. Nelson

{October 24,2015}

Truth be told.
I am a very rich woman.
One of the richest.
Rich in family and friendships with folks who illuminate my small world from the shining crazy diamonds that they are.
Tonight I opened a friend’s work in progress to read, but first I got caught up in reflecting back on two earlier evening conversations.
I am feeling enormously grateful for the twinkling of inspiration that is growing from those conversations. For the first time in a few months, truth be told.

On the cusp of a whole new month, and another National Novel Writing Month challenge (my fourth) I am mindful that it is my family and friends who are my treasure trove of unconditional loving support.

Take notice I remind myself , this is worthy of guarding fiercely. A friend’s sudden death recently sadly reminds me how precariously precious our time together is, we shouldn’t waste a moment of it unhappy or ungrateful.

Thank you to my two friend’s who shared time and stories with me tonight.
Thank you to anyone and everyone who’s out there inspiring and supporting each other.
Truth be told; we rather need one another.




Found: Empathy & Compassion

Empathy and compassion are the paths that point to finding the road to living a life with great serenity.
Not everyone knows this experience.

image empathy is

My small world is filled family and Friends whose empathy and compassion often not the socks off my bare feet.
I want them to know this 13th day of May 2014 just how much I cherish their caring thoughts, prayers, actions, and genuine feelings for me. I’m one very blessed lady and I never wish to take that for granted.

I was prepared mentally,  physically, and spiritually to have a surgical procedure called a Cholecystectony, the fancy word for Laparoscopic removal of my Gallbladder. I wasn’t prepared for deep sense of love and care I have been shown by family and friends. I don’t mean to suggest that their empathy and compassion are new to me.
Not at all.
I am feeling their care in a new way, it’s me whose feeling the loving care as incredibly blessed gifts. I think for sometime I wasn’t the person who was in touch and mindful of that feeling beyond an awareness that it was there.
I hope I wasn’t actually taking it for granted before,  I think I simply was not giving the compassion from those in my life the reverence it deserves. They deserve.
Empathy is not something everyone gets to experience,  yet it is needed to be able to embrace a sense of compassion.

There are people in my life, close family, and friends who became family by choice that I best describe them as ‘Empaths’. They know what I’m living. They, because of their gifts of empathy and compassion feel deeply what I feel.

image empathy is about standing

They’ve been beside me and privy to my journey of becoming a strong and independent woman, witnessing my  many “first times in life” experiences through the last two years, and they never judge, only support me with their unconditional love and acceptance of who I am.
I’m so blessed.

Self serving post this is, it is All About Me.
It’s important to me that those people in my life hear me say that I am touched in ways again today that leave me completely humbled by your friendship.
And your compassionate loving caring ways. You might think it’s nothing to take a few minutes to phone to just see how I am, I on the other hand think it’s priceless.

I especially need to give a ‘Mama Shout Out’ to my daughter Janis, she has been my personal nurse, confidante, chef, medical insurance specialist, and my heath advocate. As my daughter and best friend she reminds me daily just how imperative it is to be genuine with those in your circle of love, and the reasons behind the joy I find living an authentic life. I love you Cupcake & Thank YOU. ♡

My family/framily = my bros & niece’s, my two ‘sis-out-laws’, my two best gal-pals they know who they are, and last but certainly not the least my artists/clients-partners in music, all of them deserve big love from me for their most amazing support.

I’m deeply overwhelmed with emotions that y’all inspire within my heart and soul. I just needed to express it out loud.
I love you all to the Moon and Back.




Reflections x 2 (*repaired link)

I have a thing for serendipity. I may have said so before. I even love the way the word feels on the lips when pronounced.
Friendships sometimes become grand events of serendipity.
When it happens It leaves me in awe.
(an unedited ordinary photo)

by ronReflection 1

The photo above titled Recollections 1 is a thing of beauty. Created from the very ordinary photo (at top) by a friend who has unique creative vision’s. This result of this one vision took my breath away the first time I saw the photo.  A piece of art the photo became.
As s the photo below.
These two complimenting images create photographic art  and are perfect examples of how serendipity played out recently in my life, in the world of art. and in the art of friendships.
I’d like to share how these two photos came to be, and how the two being combined is something quite special at play. Kind act’s of random thoughtfulness that I’ve had the pleasure and honor of being on the receiving end of.
The top photo was originally just an ordinary photo taken of the view outside my window from where I sit and write every day. On a cold and snowy day this past November the beauty that Mother Nature had sculpted and painted outside my window was too beautiful for me to ignore. I was captivated by the how pretty it was that morning, so I stepped away from my computer and writing with camera in hand. I tried to capture not just what I saw, but also the feeling of the moment as well. 
I captured the scene okay, but the feeling of the moment?  Not so much.
That ordinary photo of outside my window is the photo I took, but I cannot take credit for the art that it became at the hands of my talented and creative friend, Ron. He edited and added the effects to my original photo, creating this stunning piece of art I now have. Forever this new photo will capture the view out my window, and it is doing what I couldn’t. He captured that wonderful ‘blue’ emotion of a snowy cold winter morning on my high desert.
The effects added are stunning, and by defining just one window pane it also creates this wonderful symbolic meaning for me. I will leave you to speculate about that.
This gift, from this friend, started what became a collaboration of art.
So much so that the two photos prompted the inspiration to be called Reflections, respectively 1 & 2.
I mentioned in the beginning of this post how much I love when events happen in a  serendipitous fashion….

Please, let me try to explain.

I wouldn’t in most cases post a photo of me, or at least just of me alone; unless I have a good reason. I am not someone who is even typically comfortable with photo’s of myself.. The photo above has become an exception, and even a favorite now.
My reasons for this has everything to do with how the this photo also came to be.
This is where that whole ‘serendipity thing’ happened.
Recently I opened my email to find this wonderful photo-shopped image of myself.
I was struck yet again in my heart by the generosity and magic of friendships.
My dear friend and author Maxi Malone. (many readers here at WP will surely recognize her name ) Maxi sent me the photo above of myself, she created this photo of me from a photo I had taken this past summer, adding the background/foreground from the photo my friend Ron had created. A Collaboration.

There is a talent for seeing something that isn’t there except in your imagination and the being able to execute the vision, Maxi also has that talent. She saw the window photo one friend had created, taken an ordinary photo of me, collaborating unbeknownst to me or my friend Ron with his photo and created. Reflections 2
One photo reflected into the other. With the kindness of two talented friends who don’t even know one another, nor have never communicated created also the wonder of serendipity.
I know I am blessed to have friends like these two. Friends whose thoughtful and generous friendships are reflective in everything they do.
That’s serendipity.
That’s friendship.

Thank you both Maxi & Ron so very much.

Let Your Soul Giggle

* This post is dedicated to a new friend, a new reader of LBB.~   ** Please See Below

I like being mindful of all the wonders in the universe.
Maybe I have been whittling down risks lately because of some misguided fear of taking a risk with my heart. The safety factor in place. 
Safety in not venturing beyond or outside of my comfort zone.
No risks taking involved there.
While reading another blog about the blogger’s adventures on his weekend meanders. It woke me up. 
Summer is over here in North America.
But also means my favorite season of the year is coming upon us.
I have been forgetting..
By being so caught up in just living I have forgotten that when we look upon the Universe with an open heart we allow our inner wanderer…. well…to wander.
The adventurer within us awakens, we make choices of which paths to follow.  
Making the most wide awake choices for our lives while watching to be mindful that we are not whittling down the choices out of fears just so that we are living without risk.
This cannot be loving the living of life to its maximum potential. 
Admittedly, there are times when living life isn’t about loving life quite so much. 
Thankfully for me these times have been few and short-lived enough that seeing the light in the storm again was fast & forth coming. I know this is not necessarily true for everyone. And I certainly do not mean to minimize this is any way.
Finding that light sometimes takes practice, which I mean in terms of utilizing skills and tools on a regular routine so that if and when that light starts to dim you can find the candles you need. In the dark. Quickly.
It absolutely is about finding those things that will allow your soul to giggle again and bring you back into the full brilliance of your life. 
When this happens in my life I hear my spirit calling me out. 
I feel my spirit almost screaming within my soul, typically its that call out for a revival. 
For a ‘revival’ in my world I pull out all the stops. I lift the lid completely off my tool box that over the years I created, it holds the tools I need that help soothe my soul, heal my heatbreaks, and repair my mental wounds.
Candles included at no charge.
I start looking for the right tool, for the right job. 
,My Spirit
Takes Flight
I am hopeful
and I am free;
To express
To Explore
To begin
To be Me

( from my journal  12 February 1999- Seattle Washington )
Having a tool box filled with skills that can saw right through shadows that tend to try to diminish living in brilliant light can lessen the impact of those shadows. 
The shadow might still will be there, but you will have found that favorite set of candles, and you can begin lighting your way back to where the light shines again, without assistance. 
Tools & skills are the necessary component for any job, and lets face it, living is a full-time job. Why not have a tool box full of life skills and tools? 
 I have had this list in a journal since the mid 1990’s when my health took a nose dive into a shadow that took me out of the equation of loving living life for four years. I began to fight my way back without any toolbox created initially…. Building as I learned.
I had to start collecting tools on the fly. 
 Lessons were learned, and looking back at old journal writing in recent days I have been reminded so beautifully that said tool box of mine that I gave moved with me twice is still filled to the brim with expensive & customized tools. I paid a lot in my life to earn them. I should use them.
Filled with the life lessons that became my mental tool box that help me stay grounded.
I thought since I was in obvious need of the gentle reminders lately that sharing them out loud would help create a permanent mind-set for me. A mind-set that when I see the light flickering warning of a pending storm that I recognize it right away. Before all the brilliance is dimmed completely. 
I do well to remember and go directly for my tool box. 
So I am sharing. 
  • Pace Yourself:
The first and most important thing to be mindful of is relaxing all muscle tension; taking deep and slow cleansing breathes. Let go of all body tension by practicing relaxation techniques (the Internet has a plethora to choose from)
Re-examine and reflect on any stressful circumstances with a relaxed body so your choices are clear. 
Let go of any stress you have no control over. Change how you think about it, maybe change your expectations. 


  • Create & Strengthen your mental muscle. 
Be real about your personal needs and wants for yourself, while also expressing them to those important in your life-where applicable.  Don’t settle for less.
 Turn your limitations into your dreams and hopes.assets.
Get outside of your own head. 
Look at life through some one else’s eyes and their perspective.
 Have empathy for others, so you may empathize with yourself.
Remember there is never just one way to do something. We have the choice to choose from many. 
  • Make Work & Pleasure a balance. 
Have a GOOD time loving your life.
Be active in your days, doing what feels good to move your body.
Make your work enjoyable, not dreaded.
Reflect on what things you know will bring you pleasure,
 And Do them.
Eat & sleep well. Don’t sweat it when you cannot. 
Keep connected with people you enjoy. And/or animals.(domestic or otherwise)
 Make an effort to open yourself to new friendships. 
I have said it before and it’s worth repeating; I am meeting the most amazing people these days.
Finding and making new friendships is the quite possibly the most priceless of tools to have inside that tool box. It might even be said it is a skill. 
* * I recently became friends with a woman whose name is Donna. I want to share here how this “amazing” woman blew me away. Her kindness of friendship in reaching out to me by taking a moment to share what she was thinks about my writing still leaves a smile in my heart today. This friend knows the skill & art of making friends, and nurturing friendships. I have a sense she knows how important this is.
She made my soul giggle with delight,
This post is for her.  Thank you so much Donna (from FB)
Open yourself to new friends. New possibilities. 
  • Make a personal plan of action.

Take time to be alone with your reflective thoughts. Think, examine, summarize, and discover all your options before you decide. 

Then plan. Then execute. 
If your light in your loving life begins to dim, have that tool box at the ready. Know without much thought the candle needs to be lit, and tbat know where exactly you have your candles stashed for emergencies. 
Remember this gem my grandmother use to say ” every storm runs out of rain.”
Do something every day that feeds your spirit.
Make that something be what puts a giggle in your soul today.

Share Your World Sunday Week # 34

This weeks Share Your World Sunday is taken from the 2012 Olympics. And a nod to our dear friend Sis Caddo.

This is an exciting time to live in our universe. The Olympics seem to bring us all together every 4 yrs for summer, and every four years for winter. I have been a fan of the games since as long as I can remember seeing my folks and older brother completely consumed by the televised games. I recall when I was really young  getting our first TV.  My parents bought it just in time for the games. I recall their excitement and my mom’s sheepish grin because she had put up such a fuss about the purchase of such luxurious items. My mom was raised by her strict devout Roman Catholic Irish grand parents where nothing was ever purchased unless it was an absolute need. She apparently saw the misguided thinking of her own because she made just as much noise during the games as did both my dad and brother.

I’ve loved gymnastics ever since. I was a gymnast all through high school performing in what our school called a Youth Circus. Competition gymnastics though for me was not a feasible thing as the costs to run a training program was not something within my parents range. But I am on those bars each game, and watch the competition and exhibitions with as much passion as I did when I was on the bars myself.

This year the games have another whole new aspect to them for me. The 2012 Olympic Games & my blog have allowed me this time around to open a whole new door. Having blogging friends from around the world has been new to me. I am what I refer to as a sheltered traveler, so meeting so many of you from far off lands from my own has been a blessing I had not even thought of. A bonus.  Reading your blogs is sometimes like being invited into your own hometown, or your living room. If that is even what you call the room that you do your entertaining in. Different cultures, different ways, different words…I so love every bit of what i learn from you. This year the Games have given me another insight into your own home land. And I love that. Having blogging friends that live in far off places who have teams participating in this year’s Olympics has been and is such an incredible gift. This  happening I must say I think it’s rather one of the better and fun parts of the games.

Keeping track of the metal counts between countries has never been so much fun!


From Cee:

“Since the Olympics are an International event, I’ve decided for the next couple of weeks a couple of the questions will revolve around the Olympics, past and present.  For those of you who are not Olympic enthusiasts rest assured there will be a couple of ordinary questions too.  I hope you all enjoy what I’ve come up with for this week.  This one is especially dedicated to a friend of ours, Caddo Veil.

NOTE:  To find photos of the Opening of the Olympics check out this site.  This is where I found the ones I posted in my answers.”

This weeks questions and my answers:

  • If you were or are a writer do you prefer writing short stories, poems or novels?

    For me novels. Can any of you that know me and are familiar with my writing style imagine me writing a short story? Me, who never seems to know when it’s time to find an end?  I’m not sure that writing poems is my style either. For the same reasons. Although I attempt both because I detest being told I cannot do something, even it’s myself doing the telling.

  • If you had only one book you could write what would it be about? Assume it is a top 10 seller of any genre.

    A story about 4 women who have grown up together since birth. They are second generation friends as their parents were very good friends and their mom’s were pregnant all at the same time. They have since had children of their own who make up the 3rd generation, and the kids are now having kids of their own, creating 4 generations of friendships.

    The story is about these 4 women’s lives, the trials, the tribulations, and the joys of growing older with one another. No one knows their secrets like each other does, knowing each others childhood shames and supporting through life’s stumbles along the way is the basis of this 50 year plus circle of friendship. When the three that married their husbands knew they were also marrying the other three women (not literally, I’m  not going there) too as they’d constantly be in each other’s lives. It was required that the prospective husbands get this.

  • Did you watch the opening of the Olympics in London? What was your favorite part of the opening?

    Yes I watched. I think as always the Parade of the Nations with their flags. It always gets to me. This year their cadence of steps seemed like they were moving along much faster than in prior years. Just an observation.

  • What is your favorite summer Olympic event or events?

    I spoke of this above. The answer for me hands down is gymnastics. Although swimming is fun to watch. This year I enjoyed the women’s cycling road race which was new for me. I think that having an emotional tie through Kristen Armstrongs’ journey of never giving up, or in, touched my heart so much that I had to watch her. I won’t be a spoiler of the outcome of any games just in case you have them taped to watch later. I hate that when it happens to me.

    In fact may I suggest that if anyone is going to speak about results and medals that first give a disclaimer of a Spoiler Alert?  Our NBC television broadcaster here in the states is doing this during their news cast. The news anchor will tell before hand that are giving results in case anyone has them taped and has not seen the games yet. They do not give the results out loud so that there is not a chance of hearing them. Pretty cool of them I must say. 

    Thanks so much to our fabulous and wonder Cee. Every week she does this, comes up with great questions that allow others by our answers a peek into our world and who we are. I know I am speaking for so many of us when I say that we have been given a gift Cee, in this writing challenge each week. We thank you from the bottom of hearts ~



Share Your World Week 26 ~ Whoopee!!

My dear Family, Friends, & last, but certainly not the least; Blogging family & Readers,

With great joy in more heart from relief that this week finally came and has now passed without any drama I am still into sharing with you all how much I am grateful for. This has been a trying month in the baroness’s castle, and through the support and love from family and friends we made it through. Much more in my life than my own personal health issues were going on behind the scenes of which I write. Because this is MY Blog; and as you all know I rarely speak of my family, and if I do it is in subtle discussion. My family and close friends are private people and I have no intentions of breaking into their space no matter how much I care about what is happening in their lives and would love to write about it because that is what I do, Write. No matter what it could be about. This is just about the personal code of conduct I placed on myself for writing so publicly. I have become quite adept at this as my book holds no names or apparent connections to what I am writing about, even though it is a very autobiographic kind of story. NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT. AND  SOMETIMES EVEN THE NOT SO INNOCENT!

I have been focused so much of late on myself when writing here. I am grateful to have such a platform to write and get feedback from. I cannot say again in any more of a sincere expression just how much YOUR  support and love I have found here means to me. I need to say that although my fingers seem to have been focused selfishly on just what is happening to me I do have people I live with, and live close by in proximity and in heart. These people whom I love all have things going in their lives as well. I will not detail any of it because of privacy but let me say this:

While I was seeming to be alone engrossed in “My Stuff” I want and need you to know I am aware, will never forget what it is that you are living. God has a plan for each of us, and part of that plan for me is to be part of your life in any way I can. Part of that plan is to stand beside you no matter when or what it is you are dealing with that life throws at you. Or what you threw back at life. You have illness, disease, emotional health. finances, parenting issues, chores, life,  all to contend with and my prayers are always full of thanks and grace for that  which is brought to you in your need. I also keep you in my prayers and thoughts, asking that you be lifted from that which holds you back,  and I ask that you be free so that you can be the empowerment of love to all that you see and come near. Although my focus may have outwardly seemed only on myself,  please know that not an hour goes by that at least  one of you does not flood my thoughts and my heart. I love you and hold you close to my heart  always. Nothing you can do, or not do, will ever change that. Nothing CAN ever change that. It’s the one thing in life I HAVE to do beside pay taxes and die. And that only one thing may seem so daunting, but it truly is not. My job to bring you love and a safe place to fall, it is as easy as pie. Because you make it so. You make loving you a celebration. A celebrayion of you and of God’s love and mercy. It’s not so daunting at all.

Thank you once again my Huge Wide World of Family. Inclusive is a good thing, and I am so grateful to have been included in your thoughts and prayers. What a very blessed Baroness I am.

Bare feet and all!

Now on to Share Your World – Week 26!  Oh Yeah!

If you like what you are reading in as far as the questions go, and the challenge seems to inspires you I would like to suggest that you join us. It’s a great thing to look forward to each week. It is one of the best ways I have come across to get to know a room full of people. It’s just fun!

So let us pretend for a while that we are all sitting around a room,… No!! Wait!!  It’s spring or summer all over this world, almost anyway…so lets get together this week in a lovely park. Water is trickling down a stream nearby. Kids in the distance playing tag, frisbee, hackeysac or whatever it is kids play today. We will sit around  in a circle feeling the green grass underneath our feet. Take your shoes and socks off  if you have not done so all ready and wiggle those toes in to that earthy green turf.  One by one we will share, going around the circle, looking into one another’s faces.. sharing…smiling, loving….. ….OOPS!!! 

I’m up…..

  • 1. What made you smile today?

My first thoughts when I see these words that question me is to say, ” Why, You of course!” And it is true. For it is those of you who have been taking the time out of your wicked busy lives to read my humble words. How important in your world does that leave me to feel?  Quite a lot actually and I am most grateful for the reassurance that your loving support gives me. For which without I may have split a long time ago.

My answer than shall be a simple word that makes me smile today. That word is Grace. The grace I find in your friendship, The grace I find in knowing that you find my words worthy of a read today, grace that I find in simple gratitude for support of the likes I have never known before this. Grace in medical procedures that help a person find there place again in the world. Grace for family that stands together no matter how thick it may become.Grace for the simple things in life that help bring a smile to the heart and to the lips. Grace. I even love the way it sounds and feels when spoken. Grace. A perfect word.

The very word; Grace helps me smile today!

  •   2. Have any hidden talents?

Hidden? Hmm.. this is a tough one Cee!  I am going to go with that I used to sing lead and back up vocals in a band before meeting my husband. My hidden talent today would be that I can sing. Or, I used to be able to sing quite nicely even if I say so. I grew up with both parents being musically inclined. My dad sang, he even performed on a local radio show before I was born, in the late 1940’s. I heard stories about it that I just ate up like it was dessert. He also played several instruments. My mom also could play anything string, and she sang like a songbird,  She could also she whistle a lovely melody which I coveted and could never learn. Both my brothers, one older, and one younger are musicians. My little one being the one who has gone on from our childhood dreams and which has kept music as his main passion in life. He has a band to this day, one for which at one time in my life I managed and even produced a CD of all their original music. They recorded no copy tunes. My Baby Bro being the song master authoring most of their playlist. It was a way to let me keep my foot in the door of a musicians life, and have a family which came first. It was fun…. It was exhausting. It reminded me how much my disease has affected my life once again.  Only to share details do I share this; I could sing well until I had the TMJ jaw surgery. Prior and even after the implant surgery my range of motion for opening and closing my mouth was limited. To this day it still is, some days my jaws are locked opened. Some days it is locked closed, Mostly every day I just cannot open it wide enough to even yawn. This means hitting some notes, or octaves, and then holding them is next to impossible for me. Or at least impossible to create the sound I once knew as mine. To stay in the world of music and to keep my family was important to my life, as they are today. So when our girls were young in order to still sing I auditioned for and was accepted to study and perform with the University of Oregon’s Women’s Chorale Society. It was after some time with them that I had to admit that even with specific exercises  I could not get those notes out .No matter how I trained and worked those muscles in my mouth, face, and jaws would not unlock to reach the notes I needed to reach. I resigned the choir. Then I was offered a management position to keep one foot in the door of the world I loved. Thanks to my Baby Bro.  I have to add hear that living the life of a musician is not always so family oriented. For those reasons my Baby Bro and his Band Mates knew that I had an in with the business in town and that promoting is what I do well.  Shhh.. Local Artists promotion is a secret passion of mine. But it was several months later that the late night performances for which it was necessary to attend caught up with me and my disease. The not getting in until sometimes 5am because a gig would run till the venue closed was cool by my husband, but not by my body. It resisted and kicked back leaving me feel much like a hangover had descended upon me only without  the benefit of the drunk the night before. Since I do not drink this began to trouble me. I had to be there at the gigs; the unpacking & packing up gear, winding down time as a band together, all these things and more go into a one night performance. I would do the sound checks, the lighting checks, advocating for my band with the house management, making sure the band had what they all needed, making sure they were paid at the end of the night which always meant waiting until the door count was made. Being there early & late were required. It all caught up with me telling me in no uncertain terms that music other than listening to was gone from my would. That light went out. 

  •    3.  Are you usually late, early, or right on time?

On time, or a bit early. I have a pet peeve and that is people in my life running on their time. We have a very good friend. Very special friend. He will know that I am speaking of him by this tale as will everyone else in the tribe he knows. I am detracting from the very policy I expressed above about privacy, but in this case I know I will be forgiven with a touch to inspire me for much more  He is a rebel. Our good friend has his own set of rules when it comes to time. So much so that we have nick named it  ******- Time. In any event or circumstance where this person’s presence is required or expected we inform him of the time, but we always give him a time which is at least an hour earlier than everyone else. If not we can count on him being late. It infuriates me if I let it. but we have been friends for over 42 years and this is so not a deal breaker. Just an annoyance. So long ago this in my attempt to fix how I view having someone show up late, this is how his own time zone came to be. I could either think of it as being a statement that I am not important enough to be on time, or I could see it as I believe it is. Our friend sees this as his right to live by his own rules concerning time. And who am I to deny him that right? Yeah he could complicate things, and does for many. But we love him and since there was not going to be any fixing on his part what choice do we have?  He after all had nothing to change, it is the rest of the world who is EARLY. The rest of the world that is not on ***** – Time. 

It is all about perceptions after all, don’t you agree?

  • 3. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

I am much like Cee in my belief here about the BIG difference between being alive and truly living. I have had the gift of doing both, so that I am able today to realize what the difference is. And simply that there is a big difference. I think back so long ago – prior to the fact that “DISEASE” entered my life. It was a lifetime ago. While thinking about the differences in truly living and that of being alive I think back to almost 29 years ago when I was a well person. How much energy I had, nothing could get in my way and keep me from doing as I pleased. Although I was alive then was I truly living?  I’d like to think so, but how mindful of the fact was I?  Not much at all of that I am certain.

Being prayerful and mindful of the fact that although I am living with disease I am also thriving to my very best capabilities and then some. I get to where I know I am headed, towards a day of  living a life with some meaning, some grace, so gratitude and some sense of wonder. To go into a new day with my feet being planted squarely on the floor, having my eyes wide open for new lessons of wisdom, new colors to ignite my soul, and interactions with those I love brings me a day filled with intentions and love.

Who could ask for anything more?  Fo me, the real difference between being alive and truly living is being mindful that my intentions are to thrive. Not just exist, or live, but to actually thrive…to live with purpose and intent.

Disease be damned! Mountain move outta my way…. I got me some thriving to do!!

Now it is your turn. Next!

Come on, don’t be shy. To find the park where we sit and answer the questions that our fabulous and brilliant facilitator creates each week for us. You can find us on Cee’s blog at:  http://ceeslifephotographyblog.wordpress.com/2012/06/02/share-your-world-week-26/#comment-6151

We would love for you to join the circle. Please Don’t Wait Until Next Week. Come on in, the water is just perfect!


When I Grow Up I Want To Be Just Like….

I first published this piece on November 16th 2011.  This morning after reading a tender & most loving piece by our own Miss Jules. (Julie, jmgoyder at her blog: http://jmgoyder.com/2012/04/29/love-story-11/  I was very quickly reminded of this piece I wrote some time ago.Because I had just TWO  follower’s back then , I thought it might be fun for me to repost a piece of my own again. How does that work, Repost and again in the same sentence? Anyway…I hope you’ll enjoy meeting my Miss E, and my bestie here in my non-cyber world.
 When I Grow up I want to be just like…


This is a tribute to a woman in my life who I want to be when I grow up.  She will never read this. But it makes no matter. No need. I think she knows how I feel anyway. Along with telling her that I want to be just like her when I grow up I also share with her just how much I love her, and why.

Miss E is in her mid 80’s and I had the blessing of meeting her when I joined one of the most unusual and incredible journey’s of my life. And I am so blessed to have her and my journey’s cross on the same path.

I became a RED HAT SOCIETY member in 2004 at the age of 50. Had I known at the time that there is a young group in this society of women also for ladies under 50, called Pink Hatters, I would not have waited. I had much to learn., including that there are few to no rules in the Red Hat Society. One of the aspects I adore.

Another thing I was very quick to learn was that for the most part these are the most unusually kind and compassionate women who become Red Hatters, My world was soon to take on a whole new color.

I have also met another woman who has over time, albeit we’ve been friend’s from day one, who has become my best friend. We are one another’s “besties” and have an amazing friendship. One that is based on so many likeness’s but also without being needy that I’ve watched happen in so many close friendships. We’re both married to our best friends forever and time with our families always come first.

And then I have met Miss E. This beautiful graceful gentle spirit of loveliness. Having lost my grandmother many years ago I am often attracted to older women who I believe hold the truths and wisdom’s that are meant to be shared with the younger ladies in their lives. Generations of women passing on to other generations of women.

When I first met Miss E I knew that I had met someone of great importance instantly. I knew right away with no questions that this woman would be a key influence in my life. Whether she knew it then was not important. What was important was for me to absorb and be influenced by everything about her. Just sitting next to her sharing a meal is a calming and healing experience. Spending any amount of time with Miss E is a gift. Ones that I cherish maybe more than I cherished even those with my own grandmother; only because I was so much younger, and so much more ignorant than to the facts of life that she could have shared with me. I see this now. Funny how much more open we become as we grow older to the idea that our elders just may have something to offer us,. If only we listen. Ask questions. Engage.

So I am soaking up as much Miss E as I can. I have a chronic illness that often has taken me away from my regular meetings with my Red Hat chapter. One of the many thing living with a chronic illness has shown me is that I am not often fun to be with, to talk to. To say that all of my family and close friend’s have been able to deal with me and my diseases’ over the last 27 years would be a silly untruth. It’s true you know, what they say about really finding out who yours friends are…

So today I get a phone call from Miss E. Actually I received a call from her last week but was asleep and was only able to try to return her call today. I missed her. I was quite bummed but not as shocked as I was that I was bummed. I did not realize just how much I was looking forward to speaking with her. I left what I’m sad to say may have sounded like a forlorn message. So not like me. Even if I am not feeling well. I don’t usually feel sorry for myself, finding pity parties for one complete bores. I walked away from the phone feeling a bit lonely What was this? I went about my day doing what little I was up to. To feel productive . Read a bit but soon my eyes were tearing up so I laid the book down. My thoughts went back to Miss E.

This woman has lost a husband, a child, two grandchildren and has lived more in her 80 plus years than anyone else I know. And yet she never looks at the negative, she’s a strong woman of gentle faith, and she is someone I’d like to grow up to be like. To this day she stays incredibly busy which is why I did not find her at home. She was giving blood. Miss E does not have a cell phone, would not have a cell phone and this is just one of the vast many things I love about her. She also makes no apologies for it and why should she? She has taught me that I have little need to be tied to my land line phone and I don’t have a cell any longer either. Miss E knows there is nothing that important that an answering machine cannot pick up. There is life to live. And if you are so tied to a device that you feel you HAVE to carry, and always HAVE to answer, are you living it to the fullest?

As I was recalling her telling me one day how much a card I had sent her meant to her. I was stunned. This is a woman who on her last birthday received either more birthday cards than she is young. And here she was making a fuss over a card I’d sent her? She did not just say to me, “gee it was nice of you.” Nope! Miss E took the time to tell me that the things I’d wrote in the card had meant so much to her, and why. That she really liked the hand crafted card and she’d pull out elements to talk about, to tell what she liked about them.

I think there is a lesson there. No, I know there is a lesson there,…..and as I was doing my homework my land line rang. I answered it. It was Miss E.

We talked, we laughed, we cried, we shared. We both have adult daughter’s who have moved back home. She has so much to teach me, so much wisdom, so many lessons.

I want to be just like Miss E. when I grow up.