Tag Archive | emotions

Getting Out Alive When You Absorb ~

empath body

Getting out alive when it comes to the impact that others can have when you’re an ‘absorbent person’ isn’t easy.

Learning to live among the chaos that an Empath is surrounded by takes practice. It’s not a done deal  even if your heart is kept isolated from trying again, I know, I tried. Going through the emotions of recently getting caught in someone’s chaos I have had new questions, yet also clarity. If I let others into my world and give in to the power of someone else’s pain/mood impacting mine how can I hold on to all the serenity I have created for myself?

Why the hell do I feel the need to let myself absorb like this? Nothing should shatter my resolve to live with a simple balance. When I allow my feet to walk in someone else’s discontent my balance is tipped and rocked tenaciously.

empath

“The world according to an”Empath”.

An Empath is born, not created. Becoming an Empath is a genetic trait, inherent in our DNA, and often is passed from generation to generation. Empaths are not ‘A Something’ we can learn how to be;  either you are or you are not. I’d like to also address the misconception that an Empaqth’s is part of some pagan belief. Some claim practicing Empathst “is the work of the devil” which I find absurd.

So that we have a mutual conception of how I am referencing Empath as a noun I include my perspective based from my own experiences and the broad belief:

According to the dictionary ’empathy’ is described as one’s ability to recognize, perceive, and feel directly from the emotions of another. The word itself, is derived from the Greek words “empatheia” meaning “passion” + “pathein” meaning to experience or suffer. Most of the world’s population has empathy, to a degree, it’s part of the human make up. Most of us  “understand” how another feels.

But a practicing Empath is quite another matter.

For the natural born Empath understands holistically that we cannot help but feel the feelings and emotions of others as if they were our own. It goes far deeper than just relating to the feelings of others. As an Empath we channel the absorption in through the realms of physical, physiological, psychologically and instinctual channels from others. It’s a visceral flood of those emotions.

Empathy… it’s not (as is commonly believed) the same as sympathy. Sympathy is how we react to someone who is suffering. We feel sorry they are suffering, which is our own emotional state. An Empath instead is someone who finds themselves standing in the others shoes, we feel their joy, and their pain as if the emotional spike was our own. My experience; literally, Learning to decipher has been a lifelong study. What makes it difficult to navigate is the empathetic impacts that we’re not able understand the whys..

For an Empath absorbing isn’t an option, no switch to turn off/on.

However.creating boundaries is.

I am learning finally that there are effective ways to practice while being directly involved and interacting with the world as an Empath without getting struck down. There is the other side of the emotional coin -trying to completely disconnect/disengage from the flow of empathetic energies by isolating. Isolating was worse; the consequences of which had me numbed down in every aspects of my life. Emotional Isolation is emotional suicide. .

But….I learned rapidly that this was not going to be something I was willing to give up. It would have meant isolating my heart and soul and as a chronic empathetic person I don’t think that is a viable choice. Yet 24 years later with this awareness there was still no clearer understanding of how not to absorb.

Baffling for me was having done the work to get to a place of serenity while still being absorbent fooled me. That I was in a mindset that I was in full control of my feelings was misleading. Neither could have been any farther from my truth. I am surprised by what it is that can knock me off balance. I realized that simply trying to deny what my heart and soul was screaming wasn’t working either.

Unspoken feelings are no less feelings, nor no less true.

Around our physical body there is a layer of energy, it’s electric, it’s often referred to as an “aura”  If this a new way of thinking for you perhaps think of it as your Aura being devoted to your interface with your environment. Our aura’s shape and condition what is indicative of our relationship to our world.

People who are Empaths are often thought of as having a “thin skin” in relation to absorbing their world. Creating boundaries, or a “thick skin”  to help insulate our spirits is crucial, yet holes will still develop, no matter how vigilant we are. Empaths are too easily influenced by the environment.

I am an Empath with many years to my credit banked, and finding ways to navigate the onslaught of emotions that flood my spirit has been one of the longest studies of my life. My spirit and heart had to discover the need to create a visual of an ‘energy shield ‘around my physical body as my saving grace. I use imagery to see it as a radiant essence of the complete me. I see different emotions as different colors..

Once boundaries are drawn, “energy armor in place” I again use imagery to see the spark in the center of my being, that is the pure essence of my spirit. With my attention focused on that spark I become keenly aware of the sensations and emotions that continuously flood my spirit. My thoughts bring me far more clarity.

I first tried this practice when alone, after a time I began to practice it around others. Soon my hope is that I will be adept at switching my awareness from my environment to myself, and back again, all the while noticing the difference between the two.

As a Practicing Empath I have found what works for me, keeping that fine balance requires some proactive thinking and doing, my sharing follows:

  • Don’t Take On Responsibilities That Aren’t Yours-

I need to be reminded. As an Empath I learned that I was used to care taking, even to the point at one time that I felt as though I was supposed to do it.  I am not. You are not.

My agenda became finding a balance between being as compassionate as possible without going beyond the limits of what I need to do to maintain my health, serenity, and my sanity. That balance meant understanding that I am responsible up to that point, and not beyond it. As Empaths we are often seen outwardly as kind and caring, we are often misunderstood. We typically have the curse benefit of everyone thinking that we are almost saintly but it’s not a comfortable thing to get attached to always being the “nice guy”.

However, and it is a big however, it is not easy dealing with people’s negative emotions and reactions, but know that the chronic care taking of others will not in the end serve you, or even serve them for that matter. It doesn’t even help to protect them from their feelings, instead it will keep them from growing. People who have became accustomed to your care taking may get angry or sad at you, or with you, when you don’t do what they want you to do, or what they expect. It is important to remember that their feelings are not your feelings, and your well-being is not dependent on their well being. Stay mindful of your own reality.

A fellow Empath expressed my sentiments perfectly- *Nick said;  “As empaths, we can’t cut ourselves off of ALL emotion from others. We need it. I had my empathy go away temporarily a few months back and it HURT. It was like talking to a brick wall whenever I would talk to someone.”

As I continue to move forward in my life I close my eyes. I imagine myself being covered by a pink bubble of light, because pink is the color of love.  With my mind I make the bubble flexible enough so that it won’t be shattered when other emotions hit me. I imagine it thick enough to be resilient, making it solid first, then letting it develop very small holes in it so that I’m able to absorb what I do choose.

Taking a deep cleansing breath,  I realize immediately that I’m going to be Okay.

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Me & The Blues

 

Deciphering life through music is an empowering and decisive way to express one’s self, a cathartic way to analyze one’s thoughts & feelings, and a way to examine and self inventory.

Feeling the joy through a song that reminds you of a special celebration, a favorite road trip, or maybe true love is something we may take for granted. Or maybe it’s the heartbreak ‘ripping the heart out’ kind of tune. Then comes the reaction between the body, brain, & heart.

A chemical reaction,

More than the beat of the tune, the great guitar riffs, or the lyrics, music is much more to our brain. There is more to liking or not liking a song for each individual than most of us are typically aware of. Dozens of brain receptors in our brain respond to different rhythm, tones, and lyrics, determining the qualities we personally like and dislike in a particular song.

Music involves more parts of the brain than any other function that humans perform, Specific brain wave rhythm’s are associated with particular emotional  and cognitive outcomes. Over time listening to music improves language skills, creativity & happiness. Music also has incredible healing powers aiding in anxiety, speed healing, increase optimism, and decreasing pain.

Music definitely does not go in one ear and out the other. In fact, I tend to think we absorb it.

I write.

I write a lot. 

I write a lot about self-exploration and spirituality.

I think of my writing as a process, as an excavation of myself. Interesting I find that I am unable to write effectively without music, I always knew it inspired me, even helped me open up  to the muse by striking chords within myself that torch vulnerable raw emotions.

When I hear feel certain blue’s bar chords my ears like radar pick up the notes and the tones as the resonation travels; through to my soul allowing myself to be more in touch with myself than any other time. No other genre or instrument quite has this immediate impact on me like the blues guitar.  There is a kind of physiological reaction and my mind opens up to my heart & to my spirit  Blues chords strip away my ego’s thoughts and protective sleeve helping me find  way to the raw emotions I garner for when I write. I have a play list called 4WritingMusic,, and another  one titled HealingMusic  among my collection’s of music. These two playlists are most prized in my collection of music, All genres are represented in my library, (even Rap now which I had not  been able to say until most recently.)  I have opera, classical, classic-country, folk, pop, hard rock, acid rock, country-rock in my collection to name a few genres;  but if I could choose only one genre which would it be?

No question; for me it is Blues when I am writing.

My friend and master guitarist Pablo Camara’s background is in music therapy.  He is a music teacher and has the soul of a great artist who gives to others his gift of brilliance. His improvisations are in my mind and ears the very best. Through the music he covers & his original work I  have discovered what music really does for us physiologically. If we pay attention we can learn,

To me it is significant in the way we are able to emote such feelings through a piece of music like this Gary Moore cover below interpreted by Pablo Camara. The music sensibilities & sensitivity it takes to improvise & improve with a different perspective than anyone else while creating something quite moving is phenomenal.  Focusing on the recognition that it is the creative energy that flows from such a well composed song with its many layers, I see that this is my inspiration for my own creative wings to fly. And I write. And I write some more cleansing my mind as I do.

With my friend’s full permission I want to share this music I am referring to that sets my wings a flight.  (for full credits see *below)

Maybe your wings will soar too.

This Gary Moore cover is my all time my favorite version. Which is saying something because I am a self- admitted Gary Moore snob. With Mr Camara showcasing all his chops; incredible riffs & vibrato, and the way he bends those 6 strings while working the fretboard is a pure blissful muse for my soul.

And my muse for writing.

The music we are able to connect with on different levels with someone else is remarkable. And it can become a compelling way to communicate and express feelings.  It can be a pretty healthy way I might add. The genre of blues does this for me, I hear those chords and get a lump in my throat.

I know that this means something in me needs to be explored, and possibly expressed in some way.

It’s music that inspires me.

It’s.music that plays to my soul.

It’s music that sings to my heart

And sometimes… it’s a blues cover from a friend.

Pablo Camara’s collection of covers & original music can be found on his YouTube  link @ http://www.youtube.com/user/polcamara/videos

 

Gracias mi querido amigo Pablo, tu regalo de esta música mece mi mundo.

Credits:

* GARY MOORE ¨The Messiah Will Come Again¨ (Roy Buchanan)
Album: After the War, 1989.
* Cover by Pablo Cámara.
Zárate, Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Backing track: http://soundcloud.com/pablo-camara-1/…

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Lecciones gratis de guitarra/Free guitar lessons: http://www.facebook.com/pablo.camara

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