Archive | October 2013

The Bavardage of My Mind

” bavardage” IE; chat, talking, gossiping, chitchat, dialog, prattle
I have had an occasion of late to have a lot of down-time. A LOT of down equated for me to be almost zero writing.
Consequently because I didn’t have the outlet and release that I typically find in writing I found instead that I was filled with self-chatter. Thoughts not shared out loud soon became a bounty of negatives and defeating self-talk. To get out of my head, away from my thoughts I started reading about the dynamics of inner dialogue.

That self chatter, self-talk, inner chatter, on-going self dialog, the inner voice,  that which echoes in our heads.

I think everyone does it. 

 From the very second of our birth we begin having interactions with our surrounding environments. and absorbing information. We learn and grow by connecting to and relating to the encounters with others and events that happen around us. In short order we become creatures of habit and we develop into the unique personalities that make us who we are.
Science has demonstrated that our brains retain every single thing we ever are exposed to. Everything we saw, heard, talked over, read, touched, tasted and smelled. Our brain like a huge data base retains it all. True that we might not always be aware or even have access to all the archived details, but this is really protective, it would be mind-blowing if not.
No matter the experience, good or bad, its recorded in our brains. These are the details that lend to our individualism and have a direct impact on our thinking, and in the ways we interact with our environment.
Learning and adapting includes developing the self talk we come to rely on. We learn early on to have theses chats with ourselves.
Eventually we learn our self-chatting becomes our normal way of processing life.
Acknowledging that we create patterns of self-chatter is realizing that literally we learn to hold conversations with ourselves and that becomes habitual. If we recognize that anything we practice on a routine basis becomes an aspect of our behaviors we can see our self-chatter is no different.
Without suggesting that all negative self-talk is toxic our internal dialog however can create irrational expectations, burdens, and stress. If we are not mindful of this dialog taking a negative spin through our mind it can have negative consequences impacting our lives.
Internally reminding ourselves of an appointment is how we stay at task., but when the self-chatter becomes judgmental and negative, it can be self-destructive.
With frequent negative chatter it begins reinforcing and feeding our self-limiting beliefs, creating deeper problems when the sub-conscious mind wants to please and protect. Our subconscious takes everything we say as truth, it cannot differentiate between facts & falsehoods. So to not create conflict within we tend to affirm all the self-chatter whether it is negative or positive.
We create a vicious cycle which I love to refer to as my squirrel cage effect. 

My Squirrel Cage equation looks like this: Negative self-talk + persistence habits = limiting self-beliefs.

We create such behaviors and the sad news is this can be self-defeating, which can result in reinforcing the very behavior which leads to more negative thoughts, and as a result creates yet more negative self-chatter. That’s the Squirrel Cage cage effect

Round and round…here we go.

Our self-talk has a rebound effect on our moods, thoughts, emotions, behaviors & actions. So… the great news is with the realization that we humans are all intelligent beings and with great reflections and brutal honesty with ourselves we all have the ability to ‘reprogram’ our thoughts for better results. We have free will and we are continually evolving as the world keeps on turning.

Our brains are intelligent and like people friendly computers, operating systems with powerful interfaces that can help us navigate and liberate our internal world.  Since our brains function 24/7 there is a constant live stream of subtle chatter feeding our emotions. 

Stop and listen purposely to that inner dialogue.

What is it telling you?

With awareness beginning to identify the inner dialogue and the self-limiting chatter we might see that the negative self-chatting can actually harm emotionally. By changing instead to that which is self-affirming and positive reinforcements we can reprogram our internal dialogue.

Learning the art to separate yourself from self-defeating thoughts is life affirming. I have been practicing yoga & meditation for more years than I will ever admit to and I know the power our minds if we become mindful of where we let our thoughts take us. So with that in mind I created a list of purposeful driven actions that with practice can get me out of that negative head space of self chatter.

Out of the Bavardage of my mind.

I share my suggested thoughts as examples of what I find works for me, this does not mean it will work for everyone, but maybe it will start some thoughts on the subject.

  • Awareness
Going to a place where I won’t be interrupted, and I can relax . Only observing what goes on within my mind without trying to rid, alter, or direct my thoughts in any way. Becoming just an observer while I allow the dialogue to run wild
  • Analyze
Taking time to analyze if there is any truth to my inner negative chatting can allow myself to become more aware.  Questioning if I actually believe what ”self” is telling me.

I am finding as I practice this that while I dissect my negative self-chat I am able to re-examine my reality, and I can see the opportunities for improving and changing my beliefs when appropriate.
  • Determination
  • Now that I have become more mindful and aware of this internal dialogue on a regular basis the next purposeful goal is to become determined to find a way to distract and stop the “tapes” from running through my thoughts. Creating a buzz word for myself has helped. I use the term “Whoa it up” but basically it is being determined to tell myself  to stop  the chatter, to say “NO” each time I catch myself.  A more dramatic and therapeutic measure I have heard others use is to wear a rubber band on the wrist which can be snapped on the skin each time there is a discovery of negative chatter. I’ve heard the term “Stinking Thinking” The point is to find what works for you.
  • Self-Affirmations

    Realize that just simply trying to turn the negative inner dialogue off as it floods our thoughts is the first step to changing the negative to positive. But by just substituting the negative self-talk with something else is only a short-term fix. Our minds tend to revert right back to the original offending thought once we let go of the attempted distraction. Instead I now let the negative chatter pass through my mind without giving it any weight of importance.

    Practice being at ready to affirm yourselves with positive statements of self-affirming internal dialogue.

{ Positive Self-Affirmation Examples )

And finally; to aid in bolstering these self-affirming thought

  • Visualization and Focus

While stating our chosen affirmation visualize being in the exact situation or circumstances in the mind’s eye. Visualize living with integrity, see the beauty in that the you are good enough just as you are. Experience the feeling of peacefulness by imagining where that is for you. Focus on that image for a few minutes. be mindful and enjoy the feelings it causes, breathe in deeply… and exhale slowly.

Our automatic nature or our auto-pilot if you will, can make it challenging to change our negative self-chatter;  but the good news is that false beliefs and cognitive distortions of our truths are learned behaviors and that very fact means we CAN learn to change our negative defeating talk. That realization for me has helped return the power of my thinking to being mindful with the results being far less of that self-defeating chatter is being discussed with my ‘Self’ 

To Jump start the process of positive self-affirmations included below is a borrowed list of affirmations. My hope is that one or more might resonate with you and give you a head start to developing your own personal list. Write them down and place them where you will see them often for reinforcement.

  • I am Successful,  Healthy and Happy.
  • I am grateful to life for all that I have received till now and for all that I will be receiving in the future.
  • I can do it.
  • I feel good about myself and about everybody around me.
  • All is well. Everything that is happening is as it is meant to be.
  • The past is gone. I live only in the present.
  • I love myself unconditionally and accept myself as I am.

I’ve been actively practicing “my process” long enough now to understand the power of words we say to ourselves.  Be kind to your Self, understand that what you tell yourself impacts your Self.


Please Meet Independent Artist Kit Mann

Barefoot Music Group

Kit Mann

Introducing Independent Artist 
Kit Mann
Kit Mann is an independent artist I learned about on a live streaming radio broadcast I have become a fan of. (That’s a post for another day)
Kit writes and plays music that touches the soul because I believe he truly creates from his own. 
It can be his sultry blues tune like his “Cajun Queen” which will get you dancing in your chair and let you feel that southern New Orleans‘ vibe, which Kit shared with was written before Katrina when all the places he sings about were still standing. 
Or it can be his cathartic expression of what it is like to feel trapped by pain in his “Cry For Help”that first grabbed my heart-strings as he expressed what I felt, but could never find the adequate words.
Kit Mann’s music will touch something inside, and it will ignite strong emotions.

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Fall Brings An Easter Blessing

18 October 2013

Seeing a plant in stages of its growth is not at all unusual if you garden. And I do. 
I think of gardening as a blessing, I love to grow things wild and unruly. I love to get my fingers into the dirt in the ground, I love to make mud pies.  
I have an unusual event happening in my garden this Fall.
Every year since my two daughters were infants I received an Easter Lily from them & their father to help set the environment of spirituality for the season of Lent & Easter in our home. We are not an overly religious family, but we are deeply spiritual and Easter & the spring equinox are significant, with the traditional & symbolic gift given of an Easter Lily. 

An Easter Lily  (Lilium longiflorum is actually a native of the southern islands of Japan. A World War I soldier, Louis Houghton, is credited with starting U.S. Easter Lily production when he brought a suitcase full of lily bulbs with him to the southern coast of Oregon in 1919. He gave them away to friends and when the supply of bulbs from Japan was cut off as a result of the attack on Pearl Harbor, the rising price of the bulbs suddenly made the lily business a viable industry for these hobby growers and earned the bulbs the nickname “White Gold”. Today over 95% of all bulbs grown for the potted Easter Lily market are produced by just ten farms in a narrow coastal region straddling the California-Oregon border, from Smith River, California up to Brookings, Oregon.

For almost 40 years every May I would replant said lily’s outside in my gardens and flower beds. Different gardens throughout those years, and for 10 years while living in a downtown Seattle high rise I planted the plants in the apartment buildings gardens since I had none of my own. 
I could grow really healthy beautiful plants, but to get them to re-bloom again in their natural environment was something I was never successful with. They make gorgeous foliage with shiny green pointed leaves, adding much texture and different heights to my flower beds. But to bloom again in the early summer months of June as Mother Nature intended the following years never happened.
 I was okay with that,  I knew from research that to get a plant to re-bloom after being forced to bloom unnaturally is not an easy feat.  
This past March 2013 on Easter I was in a very different space than I had ever been; not only had I become a newly single woman at the start of 2013 I also gifted myself for the first time ever an Easter Lily. It had been 3 years since my youngest daughter survived emergency brain surgery and woke from coma on Easter Sunday 2010.
As I said my Easter 2013 was very different than it ever had been, my first alone, and my daughter was winning the fight to save her life a second time.
After taking great care to keep my lily alive after its blooms were spent I planted it in June outside in my tiny flower bed I had created at my new little apartment. 
It was a late planting this year even for the high desert because we had a later than usual beginning to our spring with freezing night-time temperatures prevailing through May, making it impossible to start gardening like the rest of our state did in March.
So my lily finally went into the ground and I nurtured it along, making sure through that during our warm summer days it was thriving and growing strong. 

Last month I noticed a bizarre thing. Growing out of the original plant were two new offshoots. Two new stalks, the Easter lily plant had propagated itself. In the fall. That in itself was different from any other time I had witnessed before. Typically the lily goes dormant after its blooms have faded and dies back into itself until spring the following year. 

“Well,” I thought, “that’s kind of cool.”
Then… it started happening.. First one bud appeared, then another, and then both stalks created 5 to 6 buds each. 
I could watch almost daily out my window the buds turning into blooms. 
My Easter lily is blooming!!
In the Fall!
By rights This lily should not be blooming! Unless my past history with Easter lily’s( that were hot-house forced to bloom in the spring) is odd. 
But even the irony of MY lily blooming is enough that I think it is very cool.  
But that it is also fully blooming in October, in the high desert of central Oregon… well .. that is such an incredible thing I am in awe with this lily.  I associate my youngest daughter’s recovery from emergency brain surgery on Easter Sunday morning of 2010 as a miracle, along with that 3 years later the reinvention of my life and my maiden Easter purchase of this now blooming lily as my Fall Easter blessing 
And I am amazed.
It is why I wrote about it, so I will never forget the miracle of Mother Nature’s strength and resilience. 
I think our own human spirit mirrors that strength & resilience.

You Can’t Direct The Wind But You Can Direct Your Sails

I have been spending quite a bit of my attention lately on focusing & reflecting on human relationships; This has brought me a realization that we as humans attract what our souls need during particular times in our lives, I know it’s not an original thought on my part, it just struck me recently that even those interactions that I see now as toxic still brought lessons I needed desperately to learn. I’ll not see this as regrets.

That someone you are with at any given time is bringing to your spirit just what it is you need to learn from that particular interaction,That someone will bring out in you those life lessons necessary to find your own truths and authenticity. 

Depending on the level
of intimacy (directing your own tailwinds) will dictate how vulnerable you will allow yourself to be with another .And frankly with yourself. But if we remember that everything we see in another is exactly what we are needing to see in ourselves it might allow us more emotional investment’s.
Mirroring those vulnerabilities with kindness toward not just others but just as importantly towards “Self” helps to get connected in ways that will feed our spirit. And in turn we help feed others.

If we can look upon our relationships with this in mind it can become a natural flow to then find a true kindness towards our self and towards others. Kindness that may very well be the remedy for so much in our own small world of worlds. It merely needs to start within and for ourselves.
Before we convince ourselves that there is nothing a given interaction can bring to our lives we might want to stop, reflect, & examine. Being mindful that which we see in another is just what we need to see in ourselves equates to Life Lessons.
No judgements.
No blame.
Just is.
Past and current relationships in my life have become life lessons intertwined with those interactions. During times when I couldn’t see the light at the end of ANY tunnel it has become my saving grace knowing that I am able to see the light shine with the much-needed warmth from someone else.
In someone else I find the lessons reflected in what I need to know to live more authentically.
 I didn’t always have the grace to direct my sails towards a rocky harbor.  
When presented with a behavior (rocky harbor) or a way of thinking by another that feels conflicted within my own scruples I balked. I judged. I certainly was not feeling abundant unconditional love & kindness.
Now with more emotional intelligence I know this is mirroring hat which I still must still learn. 
Learning to live with abundant love for others and for our selves is a kindness we are all worthy of finding, and though we may tend to think of being kind to our selves as something akin to being self-centered… it’s truly not.
Through the interactions with relationships in our life we can learn the fine arts of unconditional love, forgiveness, and the kindness of acceptance. Even the negatives we find in relationships can bring the positives if we see them as life lessons.
Trust me, I am not suggesting abusive behavior, intolerance, and judgement of others are that of which we should ever accept. I definitely do not advocate for staying in any relationship that is harmful to you physically, emotionally and/or spiritually. I do though know from personal experience that even in this type of relationship there was a great value in the lessons about myself I learned. I choose now to see it as such, rather than hold on to the resentment & anger that only starves my spirit.
Like the four key points o a compass these four key points will help direct your emotional sails
Unconditional Love.
Unconditional Forgiveness.
Unconditional Kindness.
Unconditional Acceptance.
There is an authentic grace knowing the great wisdom of practicing these four directions. Others will see the light in our faces when we are loving in these directions without any conditions,
If we can know this and trust this it helps release the light inside of any personal entanglement;;illuminating the shadows. It can take us to wonderful heights, the ups and downs of navigating any relationship. It just might become apparent that these ups and downs can bring us clarity & strength.
These ups and downs help us to remain grounded and balanced.
We might ask ourselves; what it is that our soul is longing to discover from each person who comes into our lives? It can bring into focus that it really is all about love being the mainstay that feeds what our souls need. To not be so leery or too cautious of what these interactions will bring us leaves our hearts and our minds open.
Embracing the shining lights we may see ins eyes of others, being open to what messages they hold allows our hearts be open, and we feel more approachable to the person we are connecting with. There is always wisdom for our spirits within each other  and the beauty of this is we need no special tools or training to receive and accept these. The things we see in another are maybe the most important things we can pay attention to. The kinds of things that touch our hearts if we just tap in. This very well can bring us that sense of being complete, and allows us to surround our lives with the presence of unconditional love with a genuine authenticity
My life lessons now includes this big paradox about the relationships in my life, that they in fact depend very much on the relationship I have with myself. These relationships that are so significant for me are mirrors of myself, they reflect not only how I am seen by others., but how I see myself.  And that’s pretty cool.
There is always a choice which path to take in our journey so that which our spirit is searching for our authentic self will lead us to.  As if by instincts, if we quiet ourselves, and open our heart every time we feel lost, If we listen, if we engage with others they can bring to our spirits love & life lessons that shape who we are..
If we share openly with those who we surround our small worlds we create deep spiritual connections.
Connections with the human spirit bringing us ever closer to living a life of authenticity, we will find that in knowing our self so intimately that we can become the master of our own destiny.




Signature 2013


New Independent Artists Radio Show on Mixposure Radio. * Introducing DJ Doug DIckens

Tonight the world will be introduced to DJ and independent artist Doug Dickens as he spins the tunes of the most amazing independent artists in the universe. That’s Tonight at 8pm eastern. The happening place to be is Mixposre radio. Links provided in post.

Barefoot Music Group

The above promotional poster is for mixposure radio newest disc jockey Doug Dickens whose new show is now being  broadcast every Tuesday & Sunday evenings.

[ poster artwork credit:  Helder Rock ]

Originally posted September 30, 2013

Watching the history of the world of music changing and growing is a fascinating thing.
Thanks to the Internet & the creative endeavors of independent musicians, vocalists, songwriters, and engineers today’s music industry has evolved and become universal.
Independent Music has no borders
Radio shows like that which you can find on Mixposure radio every evening have given the control back to the artist’s.



In that spirit of musicianship Mixposure radio had the pleasure last week to announce independent artist Doug Dickens astheir newest addition to their stellar line-up of DJ’s..
Doug Dickens Postcard.jpg
In Doug’s own words he shares his thoughts on the eve of his…

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