Snippets of journaling from the past few months prompted this post. It has been a self exploratory two years as of this month, healing is not always an easy thing to feel and absorb.
But it holds so much promise.
** Miss Judy Collins has been with me since 1966. Her voice, the lyrics she tells stories through have always been a guiding energy in processing my life. Today is no different.
Recently for very personal reasons my writing has become even more important to me. It always has been. But when I pick up my journal today and open its door to the pages of my feelings I realize how blessed I am to have this blogging community to share with. You my friends,you are my walls. you support me.
I still journal long hand, there is a certain sense of satisfaction I receive from filling up paper pages of artful fancied bound books & good old-fashioned black ink.
Yet there is also a great satisfaction in writing your heart & soul’s thoughts and having these viewed by those who care enough to share & add their own thoughts.There is also many friendships that have grown from this interaction, and I trust I will be blessed that more will bloom into my life. I don’t blog for numbers. I rarely look at my stats page. Not my agenda. I blog because it’s what I need to do. It is like breathing now. I write and I need to share said messages
I am meeting the most treasured people who are all the best reasons outside of my writing (getting out of my head) to stick around and continue putting my thoughts out here. Not that there is anything earth shattering in what I have to say. I say it in my way and that folks helps feed my soul.
Life is like an orchestra. Wanting to be able to hear all the parts, all the sections at once, it is not often possible to the untrained ear.
Like an orchestra, seeing all we are meant to be to the untrained heart & soul keeps us paying forward the messages we were born to give to each other.
We are all waiting to cross paths with one another.
Waiting so be greeted by each others smiles.
Waiting to share messages from lives led, with wisdom gained.
We all have a unique message to give one another.
I hope to be listening loud.
How can I be fully engaged in living my life if I shadow my own light’s message?
If I don’t let my light shine?
How do I do that?
Our convictions and conveniences may not live in the same sentence but they guide us into action. I made a renewal of an age-old commitment with myself & the universal power’s to be; to listen to my soul, to search out & live out my divine assignment. The authentic me. My own truth.
I am willing to let go of the things that are standing in my way of my truths.
I am willing to get emotional & spiritually naked.
Yeah, that sounds quite graphic for this Baroness. I know.
So just what do I mean?
Nothing to hide, nothing to protect, nothing to defend.
But if so… than even more reason to bare it all.
Though admitted it is not easy to bare all. To do so means discovering things that will make you question yourself and feel vulnerable.
Realizing that unless there is a feeling of safety in that vulnerability you shut down. you might get uncomfortably numb.
An option, my choice, on the table for myself is to be living bold, living true, live my authentic life.
It’s my life assignment.
I am not counting the times when I was knocked down, but instead I am counting the times I got back up on my own two bare feet. I need to be willing to harness my life lessons and give myself permission to stand tall and share my message.
I have always had it, have always know it has been here, I just needed to know I am enough as I am. I am on this earth as is… because of someone’s life’s message shared with me.
I am still striving to live the authentic me, and I know that comes with all my past mistakes. It is those mistakes that brings me here to this point. It is part of my journey. I take full ownership. Proudly so.
I need to be willing to go the edge spiritually & emotionally. I need to be that transparent woman I strive for, to be comfortable in her skin.
I want to walk this walk, and talk the talk, telling my message, my history, my life assignment.
I will live with no regrets. I will spend my days doing what I was meant to do.
And my friends I am gladdened in my heart that our paths have crossed.
That we all have this life to share our messages.
So, please be welcome. and come through the open door.
I’ll be here. Feeling my wings soaring ~
**** From Judy Collins Live At The Metropolitan Museum Of Art. Live album available on CD October 30th, 2012. The DVD released on November 20th, 2012. Directed by Pierre & François Lamoureux.