Intentional Fundamentals

Recently I have been writing a lot about being mindful of gratitude. I write, document, and archive what my self-reflections have blessed me with. I record these thoughts so when I am in doubt that this pat is my direct course to peace, balance and feeling grounded. Living with intentional fundamentals is a choice I am making. One that I can lives with.

It has been a fabulously interesting lesson of life, with my results feeling like I am a child quieting and calming myself after a tantrum, I blink back the tears of gratitude, and I began seeing the world through new eyes.

This was an awakening for me. It has caused me to be quite engulfed with emotions. Learning to risk again, and trusting to know that what I am feeling is relevant and is credible..

Things I second guessed about in life became quite clear. In the clarity of these reflections came about my life lessons, when I adhere to this manifesto to living my life with intentional fundamentals the things I found to be true are awakened in my soul, and my heart is set free to love, to live, to feel Peace in all that I do, And all that I am.

This is what I now know:

Intentional fundamentals. I do not own these fundamentals, I did not create them. But I do believe once my eyes were open wide that it became as important to share what I have discovered for myself as it is to live these with great intentions.

• Be present in the moment. I Have touched on this, but let say that I believe this is our responsibility, to decide to be so. Be intentional. Savor positive outcomes AND if the outcomes is not what you are looking for make appropriate changes. Make a different choice if the out come is negative. Learn from what you have just experienced. Also I recalled something my mother use to tell me If in doubt just react, make some decision, doing nothing is indeed even a decision we make. I shall no longer be a victim to the negatives in life.

Happiness never last forever. And the sooner this is realized the better for all involved. Not one thing in life can maintain intensity forever. Life is good, life is bad. Ying Yang for living. We would do well to remember it is NOT the outcome, but the process that matters

• Evaluate what your morals, values and scruples are. Good or Bad we choose them. What are your life’s most prized possession’s? Success? Wealth? Tangibles? Intangibles? Things or people?

• Feelings about life are not who we are. (unless we choose to let them rule our lives ) They should not have to make us who we are.(of course unless we make the choice to be) We can intentionally choose to “let go” of negative feelings. (anger, hurt, sadness, etc….) a traumatic life history, a frustrating present predicament…..are examples. Failing in the past to react accordingly and appropriate should not influence any current or future decisions you make. Opportunities missed are choices made.

• Habits help us create our character and the way we view each other and the world. Behaviors from childhood that were taught to us by our parents , siblings, and acquaintances are what we base our formed habits from. We began deciding early on whether we would continue the learned behavior, or make the changes that best suit our personal wants and needs. This forms who we are; our personalities if you will. Habits help the way we are identified  (by others) and by who we choose to keep company with. We choose to rise above, to shine things on, follow the crowd, or wallow in our despair. Positivity and positive habits enable us to find the positive life experiences in our journeys

• Delivered to Self-Acceptance. A gift you give o yourself. Measure who you are by your willingness to learn from being challenged, by your ability to make changes, and the strength in your character (your spirit) to never give up.

Be happy in your own skin, and accept the differences in others.

 Signature 2013

27 thoughts on “Intentional Fundamentals

  1. Beautiful friend, Thank you so much! The part about our feelings is especially timely. I had another stepdaughter tantrum last night. The lazy little brat would not help her dad when he asked so I helped him. I was going to anyway but to the “sick” one and still working my butt off–err knee off–to do what this family, this household needed and to know she was sitting with her feet up really chapped my cookies. The more I thought about it, and think about it–because admittedly I am stuck on it–the more angry I am getting about it. On our way home last night, I told my hubs I wasn’t cooking a family dinner. She won’t fix food for herself. She eats once a day when I cook dinner for the family. Maybe it was spiteful and maybe it was hateful and maybe it was even wrong but if lil miss thang was just going to sit there I didn’t feel too obliged to make sure she went to bed with a full tummy. Of course, I have been feeling sorta awful about it. This is not “me”. I once cooked an entire Thanksgiving dinner for an elderly couple down the street because they were without family to go to and didn’t have the money or health to cook it for themselves–and because this is a very “me” thing to do. As much as I tell myself the difference is they were wonderfully grateful and this little girl is just a snot, it still doesn’t change the fact I was not-so-kind when I could have easily been. I made a bad choice based on a bratty little girl’s bad attitude–if you could call an able-bodied 24-year old a “little girl,” and in this case I do think it’s appropriate. I ‘feel” used and I “feel” awful for reacting negatively. The letting go well that is going to take some practice so isn’t it good she’ll be giving me plenty of opportunities to get it right. I do take a little bit of comfort that her own father is ready to toss her out and would if she had a safe, stable place to go to. I am still a good person. I am still a grateful person. I am still a generous person. Thank you sweetheart. I needed this conversation with you. I love you!!! Thank you again.

    • My gorgeous thriving friend,
      Oh girl I can feel your stress from here.I am so proud of you for venting, where ever and however but that you chose me & my BB to share with, I love that you did.. Thank you. You Honor me T*.

      Ahhhhh,,, the joys of step-children.(and yes step-parents, or the “other” person. Blended families are never easy I don’t think.No matter the best intentions of everyone there is still that ” Before You ” you history that let us all some point feel on the outside. Its threatening.
      To the children, especially adult step-daughters they can set up resentment based on nothing but their own imagination. Trust me I know, when you have someone reciting conversations and events that never took place to throw you under the bus, Run!! Run! It Yes there is a story there for a private email another day, but just suffice it to say it was the catalyst for changed lives forever.

      I do not happen to think you did anything wrong by not cooking dinner. My natural question and yours too I know is why is he not offering to make a meal herself for the family a couple nights a week. Oh I know! She cannot cook. I am only assuming and know even if she could she will not. I have this belief my sister that we teach people how to treat us by what e are willing to accept. And you choosing to not make it any easier for her is telling her you will not be the short order cook any more, you will not accept her lazy butt using your kind bigheartedness any more in this way. .That if you are not feeling well you are not cooking. After all cold cereal is not considered child abuse in any country. Teehee (I know chronologically she is no longer a child…but when one acts like one.???.) Don’t make it about her. Don’t empower her. Make it about taking care of you and then Hub next. Then the guilt is no longer available. Remember, we both know there is no taking care of anyone if we do not care for our selves first and foremost . Our mom’s generations had such warped ideas on this aspect of being a woman. I’d like to know who made the rules up that it is the woman of the homes job to provide a home cooked, meals every day,most of the time several times day. Who said?

      So kick that guilt out your hearts door My Thriver and move forward in taking care of you first, hubs second. I know it is because of you that “she” is there, that Hubs would have made a different choice, and partly because of you honey. He knows his kid, he knew she’d likely try to take full advantage as she has just done. He so worries about you.

      May I as your older big sis give you a a few suggestions T?
      I would create a contract between you & Hubs, and his daughter. You are elegant in writing so this will suit you. Do not leave anything to chance. Detail out what you expect of her, even too the minute details we should not have to say, but inevitably somehow do. :Like she must pick up after herself.I would also suggest that when you make a meal, she cleans up after. Right after. Tit for Tat. I’d give her a deadline for finding a job too.

      The thing is as you know, you will have to be firm on this,. I can tell she is used to getting by on people She thinks if she will wait long enough you might forget, or even better do it yourself. Don’t you dare! Do not prove her correct. You would be starting with this girl child all over again..Its the toughest part, the first 2 week. But 2 weeks is the perfect time to create new & good habits.

      Put all your expectations in the contract,. and for each the consequences if she doe not abide by. I did this for my two daughters, my foster daughters x 3, and my granddaughter & grandson. To this day they know the rules are different when at Nana’s. But there are rules and they cannot give me this; “Oh I didn’t know” business. Lastly I would give her a move out date. Whatever you & Hubs decide upon based on her history.
      All 3 sign and date. I’d give her a copy too. Then there is arguing, just pull the contact out and remind her the consequences

      I am sending you such healing and thriving energy My sweet friend..As you know this situation you are in has had me concerned…. And you trying to finish a book in the midst of this, Oh honey..I know you are a thrivable (another new word) soul who is my inspiration to keep going. So you get up and get going on taking of your beautiful self Echo.

      My pep talk, not a lecture ~ Love Ya honey. We can do this too because we are the… Natural Thrivers!!!

    • Oh tersia, that you would tell me this means more to me than I can find words to express. That you could find something to take away from this is something that gladdens my heart. That you found inspiration you needed at the time humbles my heart.
      You make my heart sing with your visit.
      Thank you my dear friend of hearts.~

  2. My Dear Lady Baroness, You have created in this post a new, trust.

    You have arrived in a new comfort zone of trust in yourself. How important that is because, without that confidence, that trust in yourself there is no complete trusting of anyone or, anything else.

    It is nice to arrive with that level of trust.

    This too, is a level of peace.

    Virtual hugs, Dear Lady.

    As always,
    Cordially, I remain

    • Happy Monday My Dearest Groovy,

      It is so awesome how you can read my words and know without question what is happening between the lines.
      It is with this faith in all that I believe possible that I move forward,willing to risk it all again.
      I realize now that these few past years that I thought I had thrown away were never in vain after all.
      I was actually healing. All things in their own time.

      Thank you so much for you shining your light on my truths, and your expressing it such a poetic fashion. Your (always) positive energy that you continually bring here to LBB and to our community creates an easy peaceful feeling that you inspire in myself and in others. .
      I thank you from my heart or spending this time here, it is my honor to see you again Dave my brother. Do take care.
      Sending those cyber hugs right back at ya~

  3. I’m another man who loves this post, BB. I especially like the line: ” I blink back the tears of gratitude, and I began seeing the world through new eyes.” If gratitude moves us to tears we are truly blessed. I am grateful for your generosity to share this priceless information with us. {{{Hugs}}} kozo

    • Oh My dear Kozo, getting to this reply to you has been an adventure in patiience this fine Sunday. I have been hampered by frisky WP gremlins.They seem to prefer eating posts and comments this weekend. I aplogize for this response not appearing sooner. Not for lack of attempts, trust me. New browser maybe?

      I so appreciate your comment, in all aspects. You are one of those gentle peaceful men that I prefer to surround my world with., As I do all my associatons. peace seeking people. peaceful attitudes is who I prefer to be in my “crcles”

      Thereis a particular balance and goodness that comes from both genders being represented here on BB as well as in life. It is the order of things, it is as it should be. I am grateful you see this, know this, and obviously live this. As always Kozo you enrich my life.

      Thank you so very much. ~ And please keep coming back

  4. I am over-simplistic, I’m certain, but to me if ‘we do onto others as we would have them do onto you’ the rest of life takes care of itself. Accept, engage and share.
    Beautiful post, BB, most thought provoking.

    • Thankfully this is so Les, being able to still absorb, learn, & nurture are some of the core fundamentals for continued contentment in life I believe,

      Can I just say that I love you for your comment to Cobbie and thank you Les for making what I say more convincing. You have a wonderful way with validating words. It is important to me that the guys like Cobbie who bring a positive force with them to BB feel welcome as well..

      Thank you Les, you as always are awesome!

  5. My lady I feel slighlty awkward in as much at the moment I am the only man commenting,,
    some might argue the point of man,, but your words are really a lesson for all, regardless of me a man? or woman.. everyone has these experiences and it is how we use them. thank you I feel uplifted again and will rethink my approach..maybe a taecher is required,, thinking out loud..take care of yourself.. speak soon,,;)

    • My Kindest Sir, please never feel awkward. here at BB. You are most welcome each and every time your smile and words touch me,.
      You are one of the most evolved men I have the blessing to know. As Les above said to you too, You are the kind of man we hope to be surrounded by. There are few like you in this way and only you and kindred guys in beliefs have the courage to come to my blog and comment.

      This post was not intended for only the female gender. Both genders could be in need of adopting some ground rules to navigating their lives.I do think you make a good point though that typically it is women who read my blog.
      Don’t know why there is such a large slant.Maybe as we spoke more women bloggers?
      As long as you keep coming back I will be happy~

  6. Well said, Lil Sis. I read your heartfelt words and see a bud that has gradually bloomed into a rose filled with knowledge. A beautiful flower that has become of aware of the world that surrounds her; a world that she can see through a prism of brightness or blackness.
    Blessings ~ Big Sis

    • My Dearest & Maxi, you honor me so each time you visit my thoughts here at BB, and quantify me with yours. I am always about stunned in how you see me Maxi, that you would know some of the things you do about me does not surprise me any more.
      There is a spiritual or spirited bond, some connection that God has intended and I have no need to question that.
      It is however that you are able to grasp without any hesitation what I mean, by what I say, even if I happen to be cryptic for cause that sometimes delightfully baffles me. I just shake my head in wonder.

      It is rather freeing to know I am in control of little, but how I react and choose to respond to events & people in my life.. I know these are the things I can manage, if not control.
      I suspect my Big Sis you have known these truths and wisdom’s for some time, One of the very reasons I care very much about you, to align myself with you, and with others like you. You enrich who I am.

      Thank you so much my sweetest of soul to soul sisters.
      With God’s abundant blessings My Maxi sending you love and gentle hugs from your lit sis in Oregon ~~BB

    • Jules Jules, Jules, You make me smile so BIG!! I see that I need to be checking in on my Aussie sister of the heart. I hope all is well with you, and with Ants & Ming.
      Thank you Jules so much for this, Love you Jules, Hugs to you ~

  7. Such a beautiful reflection on a Woman’s Experience of Life…you do bless us with your openness & complete honesty. Blessed Be, Sister Dear!

    • Thank you My Dear V~ You are always such the sunny lightness that graces my blog when you visit. Experience of Life is a beautiful sentiment and one for which I am grateful for titling.
      ,My thoughts are on living this life as authentically as possible. By making open and honest statements to my truths in what I write. helps get me that authentic side of everything.
      Thanks so much for the pleasure of your visit.

  8. My dear bliss, I have little tears of happiness and relief in my eyes — when I met you, you didn’t know these basic truths, at least not as clearly as you do now. I marvel at the simple truth you’ve found, and I am so glad I read this. You are amazing! 😎

    • Thank you so much Judith You are right, I saw only the possibility of these wisdom, now I believe them now I live them .It has been a long year., yes?
      I am grateful for your visits my friend. Hope you are well & smiling..

You are most welcome to share your thoughts, comments, and/or complaints here. Know though complaints are only handled on the 2nd Tuesday of the week.~ The Management

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