Second Generataion of Dirty Mothers

There are were four of them. ( sadly, three of us have now experienced what it is like to lose one of us)

And their names are BB, LM, SG. & our beloved VJ

That would be me and the three women I have grown up with. We are the four original Dirty Mothers.

A good friend whose name is David and we lost back in the 90’s  realized something we were doing which we four women had never given a second thought to, It seemed a natural for us. David thought other wise, he thought it pretty eccentric of us.

We began losing our mothers in the late 1980’s. LM,’s mother sadly was the first to leave this earth. Then it was my mother. SG’s mom & her mom’s identical twin, and lastly VJ’s mom. Since our mothers had also been neighbors & friends the wakes for each mother were neighborhood affairs.  Our friend David  who was a photographer would grace the wake with his montage of personal photographs. Always beautiful, always tasteful.

It is also David who gave us this name. The Dirty Mothers,  Not very feminine sounding I would agree   yet David.. ..being David.. would  just smile; shrug his shoulders,  hold his hands out, palms facing up; as if to say, “and your point is what?”

It really is not as unflattering as it sounds. If you know now what the significance  is to Dirty Mothers you should win a prize  just for being in the know. You might even be considered just as eccentric by your friends as David thought of us.

One of these women I met at birth, mine. (so we are told) SG is the oldest with LM being the baby, and VJ & myself in between; all four of us born in 1955.  Our family’s lived in the same neighborhood and our moms would do the stereo-typical “coffee get together” around the family dining tables most week day mornings. I have a vivid memory of them sitting together at my mom’s table, chatting about many things I did not understand.  VJ rounded us out and made us the  perfect quartet in the 7th grade,  her mom was an acquaintance to our mothers as well.

Finding ourselves having to gather so often in our 30’s  for wakes for our beloved mothers and other people in our joined lives that our dear mutual friend David nick – named us The Dirty Mothers.  An Odd & eccentric name for a group of women who have known each all of their lives. We took to it naturally.

Where.,or how did David come up this unusual name? I know you are wanting to know why this name.  If you  know the why, or are on the same page as David was without me having to tell you than  I am impressed. you can move to the head gf the class.

A hint, the nick name did not come from this song,  However; I could not believe there is a song actually titled with the same name so I am sharing it with this anecdotal story. The Mothers would approve. All of them!

The name comes from an alcoholic mixed drink that we of the now dubbed Dirty Mothers would drink during the wake memorials of our respective mothers. Our friend David spotted this ritual we had begun even before we realized what we were doing.

Hence the club of the Dirty Mothers had been born.

So what is a Dirty Mother you are asking?

We would begin by making this drink in a blender, the trick is proportions. We would begin with taking a half-gallon (2.27 liter) of Half & Half Cream & four oz (28 gm) to six of good quality gold tequila to the mix. Next add the coffee flavored  liquor  such a Kahlua™ y  a 50 to 50 ratio to the tequila. Depending on which Dirty Mother was making the pitcher of Dirty Mothers would be the deciding factor for how much is too much tequila. Blend till frothy, serve on the rocks.  And please Friends if you are going to try this,  do put your seat belts on before you even begin.

My friend and yours: A Dirty Mother.

These women and I would spend the evenings together after all family & friends had finally gone on to their own lives again. We would find a quiet alone place to huddle together, hanging on to one another for the evening or the night – often just spending the night so no one was driving.  Albeit grown-up big girls we found slumber patties to be comforting on such evenings.  We still do. This was not our typical time spent together obviously and we found being together like this required something to loosen our tongues the first time. It then became naturally our thing.

The Dirty Mothers Club.

We’d never had this when it came to the loss of any of our fathers but somehow the connection of being women made this ritual feel exactly like what we were supposed to be doing. What we needed to be doing. Even we felt we had our own mothers blessings. It was a time to spend together sharing tears, and sharing laughter. To this day I have special and cherished memories of these evenings. The painful memories are the  months weeks and or days before the wake, and during the actual memorials. These evenings were the time when our healing began.

There was something about gathering together with my extended family of women. My Dirty Mothers. You see, not only have we been friends our entire lives we are also 2nd generation friends out of four generations of the same families being connected through friendships.

Let me explain…

All four of us have had children, all girls ironically. Our children who are adults, now have children. Each generation has remained friends. Each has been raised together, knowing one another, and as close as can be while growing up without being related by blood. We may be closer in fact having the gift of choosing this our extended family. All this wonder despite living in separate cities, and towns now as adults. Four generations of being friends that made family.

The women of the Dirty Mothers & I know we have been incredibly blessed. We  know we have a special and unique friendship. And we do not take any of it for granted anymore. Like so many

Like so many things in my life…We, The Dirty Mothers have come Full Circle.

©barefootbaroness  ( re-published on FB  01. 2013 )

32 thoughts on “Second Generataion of Dirty Mothers

    • Thank you so very much for coming by and commenting on this post. This was a meaningful story to share.
      I look forward to meeting you and learning who you and your blog are.
      I do hope you will come back ~ BB

  1. I want dirty mothers at my wake!! 🙂

    Toni, it’s so good to hear you shining again. That clip singing the song, that woman looks too YOUNG to sing that old ma tune??

    Full circle. I have yet to come full circle with Daniel …

    • Isn’t she just beautiful? I understand she really was not singing Dirty “Mothers” She inserted her own word, rather crude. So you just never know.

      I will make you a deal N. You make sure i am notified, I will supply all the Dirty Mothers. The women and the drink. It would be a worthy journey to your homeland.

      You will become full circled and celebrate a new birth of freedom I promise.

      Miss you N. I have been neglectful Sending you some Oregon love!

  2. How blessed you are BB to have such special friends, better than family in my opinion.
    That book you are working on sounds fabulous, I hope to see it in print one day in the not too distant future.

    • I think I am incredibly blessed optie. you know these women have been great friends and I them dearly…, but i need to share something with you.

      Just Between you & I you were/are the one I can talk to about the one issue that causes me great heartbreak today. I mean this sincerely. When it comes to this you have been such an integral sense of support for me

      You give me hope always now. I thank you my friend~ your friend BB

  3. What a blessing for each of you, to have the rest in such a close knitting of friends. The drink, on the other hand, (and I hate to say this, my bloggy sis,) sounds kind of yucky! But then, I have always preferred tequila straight up, on ice or in a shot glass.

    I am so happy for you, that you have this wonderful extended family, and that the connection is held through new generations. I am so happy to know that these women are such an important part of your life. 😎

  4. What a lovely blessed story and piece of family history my lady, just dont all you go into a haunted house and mystery tour.. we all what happens in them.. nice read, not many can say this,,x

    • So glad you thought so.Thank you so much for your thoughts My Kind Sir and advice. We shall not!
      Another close & good friend who is a talented writer does not know this but I was inspired to have the courage to post this. (prologue from a personal project) because of shared conversations.
      Though these women and I live completely different lives as mature women there is this comfort of knowing some things never change. They are some of my things that always stay the same.

  5. Enjoyed the story Sis and you are truly blessed to have these second generation friendships….especially during such heart-breaking times. I’ve had that drink called Dirty Mother, but when I have it there is always Kahlua in it….gotta have a little sweetness to cover over the bitterness, especially during a mother’s crossing over. Caddo is right….what a fabulous book/movie it would make! Hugs are being sent>>>>>

    • Hello my twin
      Yes Kahlua, the coffee flavor liqueur. It is what we used too but I had not meant to use brand names but what the hey I might as well say we used also Jose Cuerveo tequila too, Gold Especial to be exact So not the mescal is out of he bag.
      This is part of that story I have been working on for almost 2 yrs. One day maybe…Love your comment. love you fr staying in tune with what I am doing here at BB, and love you and my bro-out-law too! Sending hugs right back to you both ~

      • I just had some of that Jose Cuerveo Gold Especial last night with Minute Maid Limeade…..good stuff…..ole!
        I’ll be the first in line down here in Sarasota to buy a copy of your Book….then I’ll have to send it to you to sign it…….
        ……or I could take a R E A L L Y long road trip to get it signed in person~

        • Oh my sweet twin you, you would never be buying a copy of my book. Are you kidding me? You will be sent the manuscript before it ever goes to a publisher 😉

          Cuerveo Gold, is the only way to drink tequila if you are, and its the only alcohol that would not mess with my brain the next day. Love the sense of a mescal plant anyway. Alas though the teetotaler I am it never takes much to knock me off my bare feet.

  6. beautiful– beautiful friendship story–I love this — I lost my mom in the early 90’s –it is so unfair isn’t it–but you have found a way to get through it- I love the idea of the drink loosening your tongues and making sharing at a hard time easier–here is to the Dirty Mothers (this is me raising an imaginary toast to you)–long may you reign

  7. This is an amazing story, BB–and the drink sounds pretty good too! I had a vague recollection of the name, but have never tried one. Great story–phenomenal, really (would make a good book/movie, TJ)! God bless you Big!! love, sis Caddo

    • Thanks so much sis caddo for your kind thoughts and comments. Between you & this is actually part of a lifetime story I have been working on for some time. Your words of encouragement are so happily accepted. . Thanks so much my sister.
      God’s Blessings and much love commando!

        • With your encouragement how could I lose? Its not something I will give up on The story in its inception has been with me since I was about 19 yrs old. I have had the concept and notes for years; Almost two years ago I began writing it…and oh what a journey this has been.

          Its part of who I am, I could no more stop writing it then I could stop writing…
          Thanks again sis, you are the best!

You are most welcome to share your thoughts, comments, and/or complaints here. Know though complaints are only handled on the 2nd Tuesday of the week.~ The Management

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s