Living Your Own Truths

Caddo’s  Seven  Word  Sunday  November 4. 2012

Spirit Feeds Life Changes With Blessed Grace

As my life seems to be building momentum in its changes the words that usually never fail me, and are my best friends on many levels… …uh..  well.. they have been failing me…..lately.

Writing this blog is usually never having enough time to write all I think about, and what I think I have to say. This past week or more its been about not having enough words or the right words. It happens sometime to all of us.  It causes me to happily take a break usually. That there are these feelings about life and my thoughts needing to be expressed again is a healthy thing, I take  great comfort in feeling the deep connection to my creative spark looking to find the words that will say what I mean. Always have.

My seven words today are the perfect segue into what I want to express out loud but without getting too personal, and yet not being cryptic. There is my quandary. That there are life changes happening  in my own world and I have shared little of it but with a few loved ones is not unusual, I am in many ways a pretty private person and this post does not change this much.

What I found that was missing and maybe keeping from writing this was grace. The grace to humbly accept where my journey has taken me, to open my eyes to the wonders I have never known. and to reopen them to the things I had closed my eyes to.  Grace to celebrate but with some class. Wise & kind enough to know the difference. Grace to have the right to be simply be happy without any “But” in the same sentence.

This may be where my missing words were locked away, where my grace was being held ..waiting for me. The grace I needed over these changes. I  had to ask myself;”how humble am I?” If I am happy does that take away from others who are not?

Could this be a cost to living an authentic life?

I am happy, and know it has sometimes felt inappropriate to others. This was when I thought my grace had  failed me. Trying to live an authentic life comes with its costs. Sometimes that cost might be causing others pain or discomfort when you are trying to live your own truths. I wish there was another way. I have tried others ways which were neither living authentically, nor being truthful to anyone, least of all to myself…. Nor was there any grace.

My hope is that I can find a way to gracefully express my happiness without it treading on anyone’s feelings, or their toes. To live my life with the grace of my authentic self whose intent is never to hurt or cause disruptions to others is no easy feat. But nor will I apologize for attempting to be true to myself. and for that matter those in my life. Approaching my 6th decade in a few years has left me feeling that there in no time like the present to live as simply and humbly a I can. I don’t want a lot from my life, but what I do want is no mystery to me. To deny those things would be lying to myself.

I want only to live my own truths as graciously as I can.

{A personal note: I need an and want to thank two of the most important people in my life for the observations shared  with me about writing,  or the lack of it of late. I am grateful to you both for knowing me like you do. I was able to take a step back and see the forest again finally. Without a couple of conversations I’d still be stuck. Thank you both}

©ttaylor2012

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27 thoughts on “Living Your Own Truths

  1. Pingback: Seven Word Sunday~11/18 « Mlissabeth's Musings

    • Your one word has more meaning to me than you might think.. You are an incredibly fine author and to have you read something of mine and not have much to say?… well I know. No words You compliment me N.. I am touched by your wow. .

  2. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now Baroness. Life change is always difficult to navigate whether it is positive or negative because it is not just us that is effected by it. I understand, having been through my own major life change these last years, how difficult it can be to know what emotions are appropriate to express to others. The line between the need for authenticity and discretion is perhaps the most difficult of all to walk.

    • My Dearest Friend,
      Thank you for sharing your own struggle with me. It is that fine line and i am so grateful that You understand.

      For myself I see nothing but positive, making a change that should have been done so sooner would be my only regret. My hope is that those who cannot see the same future as I will soon find their own path of contentment and peace within. And that they will know this feeling comes from something more powerful than our ego fed emotions.

      My faith is not tampered with, it is even reinforced by the actions of others. I know God has my path already in place, now it up to me to walk that path as authentically as i am able.

      Many thanks PJ. I adore your comments and please keep them coming. its is always my pleasure to see you always ~

  3. My Dear Lady Baroness,
    When you live the truth, and maintain that very special authenticity that you employ in your life, you cannot tread upon someone else’s toes.

    The only toes tread upon are those who, live a less than truthful, and authentic existence. They have a fear of the path you walk, and believe they have been tread upon. It’s not the trading on toes but rather, the fear.

    Those of us understanding that path you follow could never be tread upon because, we’re not afraid of it. We desire the same path to travel which, you are a stellar example.

    Most cordially, as always.

    • Dear Dave,
      You say some of the most thought provoking things and give me reason to pause. The non- believers in this small world I refer to of my own are where my only struggle in this universe has seemed to been. My wish that all came with the same regard for respect to have different histories, different futures is one I will never give up on.

      There are times in one’s life where energy vampires bite deeply and try to suck the life force out of you. I have not had them often I am able to peacefully say, but there are professional vampires at work and its sometimes a full time job staying ahead.
      I rail against accepting anything less than our full power in all interactions and relationships. Finding the way and how to magnetize people, relationships, and situations that revitalize us rather than painting ourselves as victims is my quest in this life.
      My wish is for those in my world to have this gift of the positive as well. There are only a few times I have not let it serve me well, and again it all had to do with my own undoing.

      I am most grateful for friends like you Dave who are able to give that gentle reminder when those vampires make another attempt. I thank you for this, your words are always powerful and resonate within my spirit.

      Thanks again, your humble friend,

  4. Very thought-provoking post, BB, and it’s the 2nd one I’ve read in a few days that poses a similar question of whether we might lack grace (be insensitive) when sharing about our joy/happiness–and the aspect of authenticity. Hmmm, I’ll have to ponder some more. God bless you today–love, sis Caddo

    • Thanks sis-caddo. Please ponder, reflect, and then share with me. i am always in need of a commando share.
      Its not something I had thought about until recent changes in my life. Its about having the courage to live your own life as openly and honest as possible. Without any injury. Don’t know if its possible but I am praying for guidance.

      God Bless you real BIG sweet friend of mine.~

  5. I think of grace as something unconscious. The grace of a gazelle, a dolphin, a dancer. To incorporate thinking (conscience, morality, etc) into the equation is not easy. So, keep dancing!

    • I absolutely agree with your assessment of grace being something unconscious, but the awareness of its need does not have to be. And that is where my heart is coming from The need and want of that grace.

      Dance and Dance I must! Sing..Sing I will!

      Thank you my friend, you are a welcome sight here today!

  6. I have seen nothing in your writings that should have “tread on someone’s toes”. My question would be this: was what you wrote hurtful, or is “someone” being too sensitive and taking personally that which was not meant that way? Was “someone” hurt because you were not being what they wanted you to be? In which case, I would say being what you are, what you’re comfortable with, is most important. Each of us has the right to be. And I have gone through my 6th decade.

  7. My dear BB, I sense change coming your way and if it is making you happy then I wish you well. Life is too short and to live a life that pleases others but not oneself is such a waste even if it does qualify one for sainthood. Like you I am approaching my 6th decade and this brings so many things sharply into focus. I can no longer take my health or that of OH for granted, so many dreams are unrealised and resources are limited. Grab what happiness comes your way with both hands. I know that you would never do so at someone else’s expense. There may be some who have to adjust their view of you but they will get over it – you will still be YOU just more so! ((Hugs))

    • Oh optie I am not a saint and those who may not be so enamored with me now are no doubt coming from a place I no longer understand. I try to at least be respectful of their right to their own feelings. Sadly it is not always reciprocated. One of the hardest things to accept is people come with their own histories and though we may not always be privy to those histories they should be honored non the less.

      Its time I put away the feelings of resentment that grow and usurp any sense of peacefulness attempted. The only way I can do this is change myself. I see that now/ that It j just the courage to jump with both feet. Now with the grace I hope to apply I can move forward.

      Thank you my dear friend, your words of encouragement mean more than I could express in words so pl;ease accept this gentle hug from me.

  8. My lady, it seems your grace is upon you now, and after reading your wonderful words and all followers comments it looks as though they all speak the same as you, and all that can agree with. Why is it when we all reach a certain age, people / society expect certain things from us. One of those things isn’t saying that if love or grace comes your way then grab it with both hands. We all have sat in the corner doing what is expected, not what we are entitled to. my lady.. 😉 Worrying about others while no one worries about you, you have this now..:)

    • My kind Sir & dearest friend, how you honor me. Thank you Gerry! I have both my hands out and am grabbing all the dreams within my heart and with encouragement from friends like you I will be sailing away to meet up with those dreams.is
      You are a good friend to have on my side. Thank you again for this. My wish is for you to grab your dreams too my friend.
      We could have a party celebrating!

    • Hello Judith ~
      You say the most wonderful things and I only hope that in some way I live up to that grace. Some days I am sure… others not so much. But I will get there if nothing else I do. After all I have the rest of my life.

      Hope you are well. I have been a bit preoccupied. Take care.

  9. My Twin SoulSister…..you are most certainly worthy of living your own personal authentic life without guilt or shame. Your heart is so huge it seems that you are having a difficult time getting past the ones that mean much but are not on your path. Worry not as they will find their own ways. Stay strong and with grace embrace your awakening as it will bring you to the true center of your being and fill you with more satisfaction and happiness than you can imagine. Drop me a line when you are in the mood…..I need your new email address. Your Lil SoulSis sends oxoxoxo

    • My Twin Girl~
      Awwee.. I feel really bad that you did not get my email yet.will email you On to it ASAP when done here.

      Thank you my Kentucky Woman for your most supportive and loving words. I am bowing down to my little sister, you are so wise. I wish things were different. They did not have to be like this you know? Yeah you do know. I am going to put all my energy and faith into believing that what you say about finding their own path is true and just turn it all over to a power stringer than I. Let Go. Let God. have not used that for so long but its appropriate no again.

      I am discovering that embracing your truths can be empowering and freeing. A sense of new self-discovery has been enlightening a swell a liberating. Its been good for this soul twin. In all ways.. (no flare -ups for 3 + months)

      Okay sister twin and my bro- out-law, loving and hugging you both ~

  10. my friend, I have been writing, and writing, and praying, and thinking and reflecting. When all along, what I wanted to really say was what you wrote “My hope is that I can find a way to grac”efully express my happiness without it treading on anyone’s feelings, or their toes. To live my life with the grace of my authentic self whose intent is never to hurt or cause disruptions to others is no easy feat. But nor will I apologize for attempting to be true to myself. and for that matter those in my life. Approaching my 6th decade in a few years has left me feeling that there in no time like the present to live as simply and humbly a I can. I don’t want a lot from my life, but what I do want is no mystery to me. To deny those things would be lying to myself.

    I want only to live my own truths as graciously as I can.”

    Yes. that is it. i too am approaching my 6th decade in a few years. and no longer can i allow myself to hide myself and bury myself, and stay in a holding pattern. that is the speed bump i kept getting trapped upon…..always keeping the peace and holding my tongue. never wanting to impse or disagree—because of oh so many things…..and yet the longing god places within us to be authentically HIS is undeniable. His voice can be ignored but never extinguished. He calls to us each day, dear Baroness. These days I am listening in a a new and better way….I loved this post….love you too.

    • My Dearest Kate
      My dear, dear friend you gave me the validation I needed to be brave enough to keep this post alive, I could just hug you. Thank you. Like you who l care for deeply have fought to find the words for these same feelings I f also fought too You & I are both writers, why so hard?

      Again it goes down to not wanting to tread on toes. I also like you -have the many reasons that are not necessary to go into but I trust that there are some that are similar.

      The last few months for me have been a culmination after years of self reflection, trying to the “right” thing by everyone else but myself and prayer & medication.It has taken a certain amount of courage and complete blind faith, like the faith it took to post this and hope someone understands. God Bless you Katie!

      I can only encourage you to grab onto the tails of your dreams Kate, take life as its meant for you to live. Not based on any any one, or their ideas & expectations.
      Too much has been lost my sweet & true friend.
      I know you Kate and you are an authentic woman, you like me have had it camouflaged for so long we almost lost it.

      Live abundantly authentic my dear friend being true to you & spirit always first!

You are most welcome to share your thoughts, comments, and/or complaints here. Know though complaints are only handled on the 2nd Tuesday of the week.~ The Management

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