Archive | November 4, 2012

Living Your Own Truths

Caddo’s  Seven  Word  Sunday  November 4. 2012

Spirit Feeds Life Changes With Blessed Grace

As my life seems to be building momentum in its changes the words that usually never fail me, and are my best friends on many levels… …uh..  well.. they have been failing me…..lately.

Writing this blog is usually never having enough time to write all I think about, and what I think I have to say. This past week or more its been about not having enough words or the right words. It happens sometime to all of us.  It causes me to happily take a break usually. That there are these feelings about life and my thoughts needing to be expressed again is a healthy thing, I take  great comfort in feeling the deep connection to my creative spark looking to find the words that will say what I mean. Always have.

My seven words today are the perfect segue into what I want to express out loud but without getting too personal, and yet not being cryptic. There is my quandary. That there are life changes happening  in my own world and I have shared little of it but with a few loved ones is not unusual, I am in many ways a pretty private person and this post does not change this much.

What I found that was missing and maybe keeping from writing this was grace. The grace to humbly accept where my journey has taken me, to open my eyes to the wonders I have never known. and to reopen them to the things I had closed my eyes to.  Grace to celebrate but with some class. Wise & kind enough to know the difference. Grace to have the right to be simply be happy without any “But” in the same sentence.

This may be where my missing words were locked away, where my grace was being held ..waiting for me. The grace I needed over these changes. I  had to ask myself;”how humble am I?” If I am happy does that take away from others who are not?

Could this be a cost to living an authentic life?

I am happy, and know it has sometimes felt inappropriate to others. This was when I thought my grace had  failed me. Trying to live an authentic life comes with its costs. Sometimes that cost might be causing others pain or discomfort when you are trying to live your own truths. I wish there was another way. I have tried others ways which were neither living authentically, nor being truthful to anyone, least of all to myself…. Nor was there any grace.

My hope is that I can find a way to gracefully express my happiness without it treading on anyone’s feelings, or their toes. To live my life with the grace of my authentic self whose intent is never to hurt or cause disruptions to others is no easy feat. But nor will I apologize for attempting to be true to myself. and for that matter those in my life. Approaching my 6th decade in a few years has left me feeling that there in no time like the present to live as simply and humbly a I can. I don’t want a lot from my life, but what I do want is no mystery to me. To deny those things would be lying to myself.

I want only to live my own truths as graciously as I can.

{A personal note: I need an and want to thank two of the most important people in my life for the observations shared  with me about writing,  or the lack of it of late. I am grateful to you both for knowing me like you do. I was able to take a step back and see the forest again finally. Without a couple of conversations I’d still be stuck. Thank you both}