Archive | September 20, 2012

Unspent Anger

THIS SONG – TODAY – SAVED MY SOUL

So what do you do with it? That kind anger that rolls around inside your heart giving you great reason to give pause. The kind that then causes me to ask if I am such a nice person, how can I hold anger in my heart for someone and still claim to be of goodness? I know the spiritual answer, Have That Down Pat. Don’t I?  It’s the emotional baggage that is a residual effect of unspent anger that I find I question.

Spending anger usually feels pretty good.  Awe,,, now come on… admit it. Even if it is just in the moment of the storm, isn’t that so sweet?  I have been known to enjoy a few “spout offs” as my grandmother would say. And don’t you know ladies; we as women folk should not get mad, angry or other wise upset. WE just should not, and definitely not in mixed company, God forbid. I say this tongue in cheek but; because I think it is a part of the background in many women’s cases that are near me generationally it has a valid point. (I’m sure that is not a legal word but I so like it)

Spent anger is a great release, it rids your body of the pent-up adrenalin just like that, it’s gone! Leaving instead the type of hangover relative to  that particular angst.

I’m curious what others do though. When you have reached a point in life where you have taught yourself not to engage and for the most part, this works really well. It helps to keep the limited contact you must have doable. Most of the time.

But when there are rare occurrences  how do you cope? what do you do?

I could get all caught up in the whys of being angry and start placing blame.Building more miserable history. I’d rather not though. I see it as a complete waste of energy which I could other wise direct back into the matter of living my life. But doing this and ridding myself of unspent anger are two completely different things. I refuse also to have to carry this anger around. It’s mine, I own it. Why not with do with it what I want?

I know it’s just a matter of finding a healthy way of releasing these emotions caused by my feelings that are involved. I have the Emotional Intelligence to work it out if I only give myself a chance. No knee jerk reactions need apply.

My release is words for sure, but not at someone, or about someone. The words that work for me are about feelings. This.

I put on some great music which today does not require having to change vinyl albums, flip them, or being called to the turn table over and over so I can listen to the great music of my life. I had no clue  however about the love affair I would soon be  having with YouTube…… Fabulous!! { A smiling shout-out to my maestro for this }

My way of dispensing that Unspent Anger in a healthy way has become more refined as I travel my journey in this universe. Today I load a play list on my laptop, not another thought is needed for the music. I usually turn it up loud for this purpose so I can feel the music tear into my soul. I bring up a fresh word page, blank space to fill with all that Unspent Anger. A perfect combination.

Rarely do these  written pieces go anywhere.. they are anything from hurt feelings to all out rage. Typically these pieces will be trashed after serving their purpose. Thankfully my blank white space can take it the abuse I throw at it. And it does not respond in like so getting IT ALL OUT is a sure thing. I am ever grateful for that.

I will listen to a song that really moves me, touches my soul deeply just as this Rascal Flatts tune above did for me today. I sing it loud and bold in a room with the best acoustics in the house, and I harmonize the anger away. I cannot tell you what song, most work any time, Some will speak louder to me on one day than the next. Mood is everything with music. And like magic music eases anger out of me just as if I was being played. Easing the words into a more mellow cadence.. my typing slows down….until finally… the words have spent the anger right on out of me. I must admit it is a marvelous technique that has taken me years to hone. And all along the journey has been amazing music.

Now it is your turn. Tell me how you deal with Unspent Anger. Or are you one of those brilliant people who can speak about their fury at the time of? I’m in admiration of you. I am unable to do so and consequently my hissy fits occasionally seem in the end to bite back.  So I will continue on singing and writing.

I’d love for you to share. Tag you  are it!

What is that you do with Unspent Anger? How do you tame it?

This Inquiring Baroness wants to know.

©tjhelser2012