Sandusky Under The Glass Roof Finally!

This has been bothering for some time, since I heard about it the same time I’m sure that you did. But I tried to bury my head in the sand after the initial reports, They were becoming too graffic for me.

I try to keep my head and heart open at all times. Never jumping to conclusions. Or I should say I try to not jump too high if I do jump at all. So hearing the news about this coach who I knew nothing about should not have had any affect on me. I should not have been so willing to jump on the band wagon that he is guilty of all the allegations we have heard. I’d like to be able to say that this was what I did. But you know better now I am assuming, by what I write.

I am a survivor and thriver of childhood sexual abuse. I have strong feelings about anything to do with this subject. I try not to, but it has been impossible. I have decided that to remain quiet on an issue that I have such strong feelings for, feelings regarding sexual abuse of any child is not doable for me. I am a child advocate, and I should speak out on national and international topics that involve this subject that also sadly is close to my own heart.

I’d like to declare this strange man guilty and have it be done and over. But who am I?  I think even the victims wish this could be over, already! But I am also a court officeras a CASA  and to not support a system that although I know has some flaws but that I still believe in would be wrong. So I support Sandusky‘s right to a fair trial. We will not even get into whether or not I believe he will receive a fair trial in the Penn State community or not. How many of those folks are life long Penna fans? There are six jururs that have connections to Penn State. I have a very good friends who are from PA and they know this community well. I just do not see how an impartial jury was struck, but everyone involved seemed to believe it was fine. Hopefully if he is convicted this will not show up as defensible on appeal.

Listening to reported accounts of the victim’s testimonies was hard. Really hard.  I am not sure I could have listened to it had the trial been allowed to have cameras in the court room. PA state law prohibits cameras in the courtroom unlike other states such as Florida that have an open policy. I am a trail junkie and watching live court trials is a fave past time of mine. I love it like a sport. The defense and the state as opposing teams, the judge as the referee. The sparring back and forth between attorneys and witnesses is exciting for me. I also read true crime, courtroom fiction, and true stories of actual events, and the trials resulting. But I don’t do child abuse. I have had enough of childhood sexual abuse to last me a life time,

But it still happens. Every day a child is being sexually abused either by someone they know or by a stranger. Society was reluctant to deal with child sexual abuse a few decades ago. I was sexually abused before that time line that society set, and sadly even though telling is part of my story it did not one bit of good for me. And the really frightening aspect of my case that has always bothered me almost as much as the actual abuse, is that my family was aware of my paternal grandfather’s history. His propensity. Me telling was never taken serious. Today, though most reports and claims are taken and considered a serious issue. It is difficult to determine how often child sexual abuse occurs, because it is more secret than physical abuse. Children are often scared to tell anyone about the abuse. Will they even be believed?  Many cases of abuse are not reported. Mine was not.

The position of a coach, even an assistant coach is the perfect grooming grounds for their victims. Penn state and their agents have shown us what happens when the agenda is not  child safety. In this case college football was the agenda that took front seat. Because the cases, the allegations were handled in such a shoddy way we may never know the truth. Seriously, people of power just shined complaints and allegations aside. You can read the history of the case here at the National  Public Radio Broadcast

This is not the best we can do for our children in this country. In this world. I know this to be sure. It saddens me to know that nothing has changed that I am aware of for over 50 yrs. And we know that there is history of childhood abuse, including sexual abuse for much, much longer than 50 years. I’m frankly sickened by it.

I have been watching as much about this trial as I can stomach. This is something I am able to do only because the information is coming to me 3rd party. I do not have to listen first hand via a camera and microphone to these young men’s testimony in the Sandusky case. My reaction to what I heard is that this so-called man is guilty. I have to say that my verdict is one made from news reports so I would not sit on it without debate. But had this come to me from watching the full trial on my own I am determined my opinion would be the same. I have not wavered from my position since I first heard about the allegations.

Today the defense rested without Sandusky testifying, this only after we have all been on pins for a few days waiting to see. The gossip says that Sandusky wanted to testify. I am sure he did. He no doubt thinks he can manipulate every person within hearing distance that he is a good man, gives back to his community, and even though he admits to liking children, liking to touch them, he is innocent of all charges.





18 thoughts on “Sandusky Under The Glass Roof Finally!

  1. Sorry i have been out on the blink lately and am just now catching up to read. I am so saddened to hear that part of your life, and it sickens me to no end why it is so hard to get through to a family memeber. In one case a friend told her mother over and over for years and was just ignored. I understand the dynamics but it is ridiculous at some point that the innoncence of a kid and their world is not foremost. Or that status always equals a good heart incapable of this horrible crime. I am always glad to read your posts no matter what the subject because the warmth and good spirit of the Baroness comes shining through! by that I mean that you have taken a horror and have used your life for good. 🙂

    • My friend Terri, how you deeply touch my heart. I have missed you posting and being able to communicate with you. My instincts tell me you have so much going on in your life that coming to blog is sometimes a hardship. For this alone your time that you send reading and commenting on my posts would be enough to endear you to me. But there is something more. You have this inate way of understanding me, everything I write you seem to get.
      This means more to me than I can express.

      Meaningful friendships are a weird thing online, but building up trust in another who is so like minded and a kindred spirit is a magical thing. I just need you to know that.

      The crimes against children are not things I cannot remain silent about. No doubt giving a child a voice when I had none is the key thing for me. My CASA business cards read ” Through The Eyes of a Child” and these few words speak volumes for the children who are my clients. I will be their voice today… until they are able to find their own.

      Nothing infuriates me more that an adult would be believed over a child in cases of abuse. Just what if we are wrong? What if the child was telling the truth?
      We cannot afford the risk.


  2. Like you, Toni, I am a survivor. Family issues and dealing with the loss of my husband prevent attention to this case. Although, I know enough to pray that justice prevails.

    My mind whirls with the thought of how he got away with it for so long.

    Blessings – Maxi

    • Hi Maxi my friend, maybe sweetie it’s just as well that you are not focused on this case. It’s been hard , but I felt the need to feel united with young men. If that makes any sense. I suspect it does for you. You my friend have enough on your plate to be dealing with, not to come across that I am privy to it all.

      I applaud you Maxi for your strength and your courage to keep planting those beautiful feet of yours on the floor every morning. It may sound insincere but I honestly mean this when I say, I want to grow up to be like you. ~

      Can I send you gentle hugs today?

  3. You know the worst thing that I cannot ever understand in these cases is that the child is never believed. I have so much hate for the people that commit these crimes, I would not waste money on courts. Sympathy is not what people want, understanding and belief. There has been a big case in UK that has involved church, the one place people expect to get comfort from.

    • Hi there friend, you always touch me deeply with your thoughts and I’m most grateful for you that you share.
      I agree that this is a complete waste of our courts monies and time, but my alternative is considered inhumane. Which I find ironic as apparently those who see this as inhumane do not find the abuse of a child inhumane. It’s almost laugable, the absurdity.

      And the church. I cannot even get started there. I was raised Catholic wich now I consider myself a recovering catholic as I cannot be part of anything that hides abusers of children. Just because a man is priest does not mean his word is more believeable than a child’s. There is documented studies that tell us children DO NOT in most cases lie about being abuse. I was not lying but still being belied was a hardship.

      Good to see you my friend~

    • I think we cannot go back far enough, that abuse of children dates as far back as we can find documented stories is probably not enough. I’m certain it happened as far back as the begining of time. Why? I have no idea. Just as some 50 years later I am still unable to wrap my head around WHY my father’s dad would abuse me.
      Thanks the heavens above that we are finally talking about it. That it no longer is being hidden in the closets of our homes. Children can tell now without being called liars in the best cases, in the worst cases they are called liars and not a thing is done for the child.
      It’s been a great undoing of many abusers that has been my revenge.
      Is that awful?

  4. This has been a challenging trial for me to watch because of all the feelings of anger on so many levels. I have struggled with the jumping to guilty verdict without knowing the facts…………I can hope that truth and justice will prevail. May you find peace within yourself.

    • Thank you so much mountainmae for writing. I am like you, trying not to jump to a guilty verdict because I only know what I hear from news reports and commentators.
      It touches me that you found my post worth commenting on and I thank you for that. What a wonderful world WordPress is. To find this kind of support from just one post is amazing to me. My wish is that these young men in PA are able to find some sense of community somewhere, so that they too will garber support they are so in need of.

  5. This case must really get your goat Girl. I can only imagine. I certainly hope the people of PA can do the right thing and find him guilty….like we ALL know he IS!!!! And we can finally put this case in the rear view mirror and be done with it. At least WE can….his poor victims though, will be dealing with it probably forever….thanks Sandusky!

    • My Twin, you have such a beautiful way with words. It’s another thing we do alike.
      You are right about this getting my goat. With you knowing the full story around my abuse I’m not surprised to find your faithful devotion to me here. You’re the best little sis a gorl could ask for, I’m just ever so grateful for you my darling Twin.
      I’m on verdict watch today~

  6. Hey you! Its been so nice to see you and your words here. I have missed you something awful. Its a bummer sometimes that this is the only place we meet up.
    That being said I am trying to get caught up cause there are some of your posts I want to read. The email alerts saved in my email.

    Thank you again for your faithful support. Devotion and loyalty are important to me, you make it easy loving you. ~

    • I just cannot wrap my head around how so many people turned their ewyes away. The boys, now men involved in this case brak my heart. It’s a devastating thing to overcome, I wish them the only the very best.

      Thanks for chiming in on this issue Judith. I believe its people like you & I who will help make this come out the closet.

You are most welcome to share your thoughts, comments, and/or complaints here. Know though complaints are only handled on the 2nd Tuesday of the week.~ The Management

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