Archive | June 20, 2012

Sandusky Under The Glass Roof Finally!

This has been bothering for some time, since I heard about it the same time I’m sure that you did. But I tried to bury my head in the sand after the initial reports, They were becoming too graffic for me.

I try to keep my head and heart open at all times. Never jumping to conclusions. Or I should say I try to not jump too high if I do jump at all. So hearing the news about this coach who I knew nothing about should not have had any affect on me. I should not have been so willing to jump on the band wagon that he is guilty of all the allegations we have heard. I’d like to be able to say that this was what I did. But you know better now I am assuming, by what I write.

I am a survivor and thriver of childhood sexual abuse. I have strong feelings about anything to do with this subject. I try not to, but it has been impossible. I have decided that to remain quiet on an issue that I have such strong feelings for, feelings regarding sexual abuse of any child is not doable for me. I am a child advocate, and I should speak out on national and international topics that involve this subject that also sadly is close to my own heart.

I’d like to declare this strange man guilty and have it be done and over. But who am I?  I think even the victims wish this could be over, already! But I am also a court officeras a CASA  and to not support a system that although I know has some flaws but that I still believe in would be wrong. So I support Sandusky‘s right to a fair trial. We will not even get into whether or not I believe he will receive a fair trial in the Penn State community or not. How many of those folks are life long Penna fans? There are six jururs that have connections to Penn State. I have a very good friends who are from PA and they know this community well. I just do not see how an impartial jury was struck, but everyone involved seemed to believe it was fine. Hopefully if he is convicted this will not show up as defensible on appeal.

Listening to reported accounts of the victim’s testimonies was hard. Really hard.  I am not sure I could have listened to it had the trial been allowed to have cameras in the court room. PA state law prohibits cameras in the courtroom unlike other states such as Florida that have an open policy. I am a trail junkie and watching live court trials is a fave past time of mine. I love it like a sport. The defense and the state as opposing teams, the judge as the referee. The sparring back and forth between attorneys and witnesses is exciting for me. I also read true crime, courtroom fiction, and true stories of actual events, and the trials resulting. But I don’t do child abuse. I have had enough of childhood sexual abuse to last me a life time,

But it still happens. Every day a child is being sexually abused either by someone they know or by a stranger. Society was reluctant to deal with child sexual abuse a few decades ago. I was sexually abused before that time line that society set, and sadly even though telling is part of my story it did not one bit of good for me. And the really frightening aspect of my case that has always bothered me almost as much as the actual abuse, is that my family was aware of my paternal grandfather’s history. His propensity. Me telling was never taken serious. Today, though most reports and claims are taken and considered a serious issue. It is difficult to determine how often child sexual abuse occurs, because it is more secret than physical abuse. Children are often scared to tell anyone about the abuse. Will they even be believed?  Many cases of abuse are not reported. Mine was not.

The position of a coach, even an assistant coach is the perfect grooming grounds for their victims. Penn state and their agents have shown us what happens when the agenda is not  child safety. In this case college football was the agenda that took front seat. Because the cases, the allegations were handled in such a shoddy way we may never know the truth. Seriously, people of power just shined complaints and allegations aside. You can read the history of the case here at the National  Public Radio Broadcast

This is not the best we can do for our children in this country. In this world. I know this to be sure. It saddens me to know that nothing has changed that I am aware of for over 50 yrs. And we know that there is history of childhood abuse, including sexual abuse for much, much longer than 50 years. I’m frankly sickened by it.

I have been watching as much about this trial as I can stomach. This is something I am able to do only because the information is coming to me 3rd party. I do not have to listen first hand via a camera and microphone to these young men’s testimony in the Sandusky case. My reaction to what I heard is that this so-called man is guilty. I have to say that my verdict is one made from news reports so I would not sit on it without debate. But had this come to me from watching the full trial on my own I am determined my opinion would be the same. I have not wavered from my position since I first heard about the allegations.

Today the defense rested without Sandusky testifying, this only after we have all been on pins for a few days waiting to see. The gossip says that Sandusky wanted to testify. I am sure he did. He no doubt thinks he can manipulate every person within hearing distance that he is a good man, gives back to his community, and even though he admits to liking children, liking to touch them, he is innocent of all charges.