Archive | February 14, 2012

A Valentines Gift For You


Valentine’s Day is a day of telling those who matter just what they mean to you and that expressing sharing your love is a priority on this particular day.  And Valentines’ Day is not meant to be shared or expressed with just one person.  But instead of just that one special person are there not many that have touched your life in some way? Friends, children, your mom and dad, grand children, maybe even the young lady who washes your car window shield. (OOPS! I forgot you world need to live in Oregon or New Jersey to have a favorite attendant)
 Any way…. This is a day to fill with appreciation, acknowledgment and thanks, no matter who is it. Reaching out and with a yellow rose in your heart  will  help your day be  one of beauty and with full. Hearts.

Valentine’s Day does not have to be just for sweethearts. Although this will be the common theme running through-out the day when one does not have that relationship referred to as a The Love Story. It’s true they exists. I am blessed that I am living my Love Story out. So maybe the jaded woes I’ll be hearing today are ones that I have not been personally privy to.

We all want to love. And to be loved. And in the romantic way. I get it.
But when we do not find that magic love we often become too afraid to risk everything & anything to find it again. If love does peek an eye out I see those around me who have been hurt start running in the complete other way. “Best I be the one splitting before I am split on.”
Yet while searching for that lasting relationship if we think it’s about to turn our way, or if it comes about, we are relieved when the person goes away. Why?

I see this dance with my single friends over and over. “Yes he is stunning, yes he is good to me,” But, But & more Buts. “But …there must be something terribly wrong with him because he finds me attractive.” Really?

I have seen my friends who are so bummed because they do not have “ a date” for valentine’s Dinner. This year, last year, and the years before. The only time I hear them bemoaning this fact is on the holidays that seem to be custom-made for Hallmark.

The rest of the year they are just too freaked to risk it anymore. Being dumped or doing the dumping has a devastating effect on people. Its enough so that some have a difficult time returning from it. Its easier in their minds to just not take the risk. To bottle up feelings and promise themselves to never be open to love again. They shut down. How if you have shut down your feelings, are instead numb, ever going to meet some one? Meet your Valentine?

They are not.

Yet maybe that is not such an awful thing. Maybe time to heal and search out that which s meaningful for your soul would not be a bad thing. What could possibly be wrong with falling in love with life again? Life first, love story second.

Falling in love with Life again can be a very sweet Valentine. Giving up the same old fight for something that really is not there can be a Valentine. Life can be absolutely stunning when your heart is open to it.

If, and I say If, you are looking for a new love, your first love or your Love Story I say keep on looking. But for today, for Valentine’s Day this year be your own Valentine. I know it may sound somewhat cheeky at first. But rather than spend your whole entire Valentine’s Day with your nose turned to the ground, your heart closed off because you are resentful, may I suggest you open your eyes and hear wide?

There is so much about you that is filled with love to give. There are so many others out and around who want to give love. If we stop looking for the romantic in such a dogged way it can be very surprising and enlightening what will come to our hearts instead. Just on Valentine’s day. Then keep your heart open, go move forward on the day after and after… with your heart open, your eyes no longer cast to the ground. I cannot wait until next year you are telling that your very own personal Valentine was standing beside you the entire time.

You had just forgot to open your eyes wide, and your heart even wider.

In the next couple days make friends with everyone you meet.

In the meetings with your new friends make them feel like they are the star.

Look for what you find engaging and things you can like about them.

Give to your friends, letting them know they are important enough to you  to make them feel special.  

Using the Golden Rule; treat them how you want to be treated.

Don’t wait for them to initiate, to make the first step. Act on those things that you would like to have done for you.

Just Give. Do not give with the expectations that you will receive something back. A gift given with expectations of returns is not really a gift given at all.

Give for just the sake of giving.

And from me to you; Happy Valentine’s Day!

©  tjhelser 2012