Archive | January 7, 2012

Next Comes Gratitude

My, My, My!

My WordPress Community has completely overwhelmed me this week. In such a positive way.

Three awards in one week? How does one person deserve so much recognition by other writers? I am not sure. But I am accepting all three with my sincerest gratitude and thanks.

To Destrudowoman:   Je te/vous remercie.

I thank you!

This wonderful and fascinating writer has awarded me The  Versatile Award. I am actually flabbergasted because I happen to admire this woman as writer, as a woman, and as a kindred spirit. But to believe that she might have seen something of the same in me I never even entertained. Why?  Because she is a successful author with two books under her belt, an amazing artist with an eye for the perfect color combinations, texturizing with paint, and bringing the life and spirit of herself into her work.  I thought we were in different leagues.

But I find that maybe this is not so true. And me, who despises classifications , needs to put that kind of thinking in a trash barrel right away.  Because of this incredible giving woman, this lady, and I mean Lady in every sense of the word, she has told me through her words and through her gift oft this award different.

You can find Destruwoman @

Please check out her very cool blog. She has a writing style that will immediately grab your heart and with her words she will touch your soul.

I especially enjoy her stories by Crazy Annie. Try them, you may become addicted and waiting for the next installation. This authoress pens under the name Tallystarr and I am listing the titles of her two books here, and where they can be purchased.

Shamelessly I will plug an artist and their work.

The Books: “Fourth Watch Ballet” & “Pocket Full of Lavender” more information @

Not what we give,
But what we share,
For the gift
without the giver
Is bare.
~James Russell Lowell

This gift, this award has helped me to recall this above poem I like to use in Thank You cards that I often make. I thought it would be more than appropriate now.

Sharing is what we do by blogging. Sharing our thoughts and beliefs out loud to one another.  Giving to one another through sharing are gifts that can lift the soul on a dark day, and can lighten the load we carry on out shoulders through these gifts. This is what we as writers do.

In this spirit I will now list the 7 things about myself to play along with the requirements of The Versatile Award.

Here’s how this works:

If you are nominated, thank the award giver and link back to them in your blog post
Share seven things about yourself
Pass this award along to recently discovered blogs you enjoy reading
Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award and post the award picture.

Seven Things:

  1. I have a tattoo  inside my left ankle of the Pieces sign. My husband is the artist who  did it for me almost 41 years ago.
  2. I collect elephants. Not for political intentions of course.
  3. I have trouble saying, “NO!”
  4. I am a CASA.  Court Appointed Special Advocate. My clients are children who through no fault of their own their family is involved in Family court for one reason or another. Most of my clients live in Foster Homes. Which my husband & I also  participated in.  Having two foster daughter’s along with our own two daughter’s.
  5. My hair is long, down to my hips. I have donated 3 braids to Locks of Love in 20 years and am wanting to do a fourth,  As long as I can grow hair easily why not?
  6. In my younger days I was a vocalist in a local garage band. This was before I was married. As I grew older and raising children the music world was no longer compatible . I stayed involved with my first passion by managing my baby brother’s Country – Rock band.  I produced their first album. A dream had come true, me in a recording studio.
  7. I am married to my best friend going on 41 years. We have two daughters who love to shock their friends with this fact. That their parents have remained together happily all these years is something that our girls are proud of.


©tjhelser 2012

On Graciousness

I’m working on the practice of gratitude & thankfulness.


My Gracious Thanks to Two Peas In  A Bucket!

Living with a chronic illness that induces chronic pain has challenged me in these two areas  at times.

I know that it’s most difficult to be down and miserable if you are thankful and grateful at the same time.
This kind of  Thankfulness & Graciousness  has to be more than a fleeting feeling. This must become a practice, my way of life.

Just feeling thankful and grateful is not enough. We must act on these feelings to express our sincerity. And to embrace the graciousness of others giving of themselves.  How do we express our gratitude, and our thankfulness?

How do we live with a purpose, live a life of graciousness with thanks?

There are thousands of deeds of worth, & actions that can express our gratitude. I know that I can think of many, and so can anyone who puts their heart in the right place and become mindful of what their purpose is.
Even if we do not “feel” grateful or thankful at a particular moment, when we express our thanks and gratitude these very actions themselves can turn our feelings around.  And imagine the joy that it spreads around us.

This way of life is living a purposeful life. Focusing my expressions of love with purpose, with graciousness, and thankfulness will allow me to be the Master of my own environments.  If my feelings are allowed to dictate my actions & expressions it is as though I am saying I have no choice. Feelings come, they go.  How I choose to express myself is what matters. My actions are in my control.

I can choose to behave a certain way, no matter how I happen to be feeling. I can always choose to live with purpose, live with gratitude, and live with thanks.
Thankfulness must become a verb. Actions must be forthcoming.  Expressions must be acted on, not just used as a description of ourselves.

I have to find ways to express my gratitude daily,  To remain mindful that I am using the day to express my thankfulness for all I have to be grateful for.

I am not going to give my thanks out of some misguided sense of obligations. Instead I will be expressing my thankfulness and gratitude with a full heart.
I cannot fail in my relationship with others when they are based upon deep love for each other, and as long as I am able to be loving to myself.

Myself that wants to be giving  Myself that wants to open my heart and see the graciousness and thankfulness in others around me.
If I walk in the light of gratitude, and in the heart of thankfulness this will become contagious. How can you be in a room with someone who is always joyful, and not feel joy as well?
A great psychologist, Jourard once said, “We become sick because we act in sickening ways.”