Archive | January 5, 2012

The Candlelight Award & Humbleness

I am so humbly stunned today. I know me being stunned is not anything too new. But I am.

Today I was awarded the Candlelight Award by my blogging friend Terri O. A.  and I am so touched that tears began filling up my eyelids. As I searched to find out why or what this particular award is for the tears started falling upon my cheeks. Terri herself writes the most beautiful uplifting pieces that always make me smile. Please take some time to check out her blog, and her incredible story telling talent.

I personally am smitten with the stories regarding her father. Very tender and moving story telling.

Terri’s blog of “Daily Sweet Peas” can be found @

Terri O.A found reasons in her heart and mind to award this to me. I am touched beyond that she finds anything worthy in my writing.

“Tonij, I have passed on the Candle Lighter Award to you. It is on my new post. I admire your courage and grit….I like to read your work, and your site has a new look I see. VERY NICE!!!!
Thank you Tonij for inspiring me!!!!!!!!!!”

You know there is an expression if you will that “we are our own worst critics”. I believe this to be true. How many of us really believe that what we are doing by sharing our thoughts through writing are really touching anyone? Really believe we are making any difference in this world? I could not answer this with an affirmative applaud for myself, and I am willing to bet not many of those who risk their vulnerability by sharing their written words think any different.

But I was wrong.

Believing when I write that it is the cathartic purpose that get my words typed or written in long  hand, never knowing if what I am sharing will touch anyone, I started writing for just me on this blog. My first few posts are one’ s that I will not even be made public they are that personal. My first post was in 2008 and as time went by I forgot all about my blog. No, I did not stop writing, are you kidding me? I have volume after volume of journals that I have kept long, long, before there were home computers. I first started writing in those small hard cover diaries that little girls love. The ones with the sweet “anyone can break into” locks with a very tiny key. The locks are absurd, so I hid my diary. Hiding them was pointless with an older brother around. He found my last diary I hid anywhere when I was about 10 yrs old. I was humiliated, embarrassed and felt betrayed. Although he had the insensitivity to read some entries aloud to the family I did not stop writing. But I stopped hiding my diaries and as I grew older the diaries turned into journals that now hold more than my words. I sketch, I create card designs,  rough drafts for scrapbook and collage layouts, and quotes that speak to me in some way, and much more.  I was not to be defeated, I was not going to have my voice hushed.

As my blog grows with words and images I am really stunned to learn over these past few months that what I am saying, or choosing to write about often has meaning to others.

I was mystified by this award. Just what is the Candlelight Award?  Where did it originate? What is the meaning behind its award?  This is what I discovered:

What is The Candle Lighter Award?

             The Candle Light Award

The Candle Lighter Award was created by blog author Kate Kresse.  Kate states:

“I love to write, I love to talk, I love to uplift people when I can. I am a woman in love with life. I am a wife, mom, tutor, writer, and I am a perennial optimist.”

Part of her uplifting of others was the creation of this award.  Please visit her blog Believe Anyway.  You’ll find amazing things there.

I am uplifted by this award. Thank you Terri O.A.!  I am uplifted in ways that make me smile and ways that cause the tears that were falling onto my cheeks to now fall onto my lips with their wet and salty drops reminding me that all things shared can be uplifting gifts anytime, any place, from anyone in your life.

Sweet Peas especially have an uplifting effect on me, and with this post comes my gratitude and humble Thanks to you Terri O.A.