The date mean anything to you? Me neither.
My Random thoughts.
I do this when I’m not sleeping. Only I’ve never had such a wide audience (such as it is) for my random thoughts and writings. I have a couple of good friend’s that we share writing long musings to one another. But this kind of thing is different. I’ve also participated in forums for over 15 years on many subjects using the forums as platforms to have my voice heard. The forums were always something I believe in, am passionate about. From chronic pain to paper arts I would write what I thought. Often there would be great dialogue from these forums. But never have I just wrote what I’m feeling for so many to potentially read. I’ve been working on a novel far longer than I’ll admit to and no one has read a word of it. Not yet.
So remember November 9th 2011? I certainly cannot think of thing that was eventful that day. It was a Wednesday I think. The 11th was Friday and that is a day full of events, many people and things to remember. But what about the 9th?
Apparently nothing was happening in my world that day. Not on my blog either. Not even one view did I receive that day. Funny. Since I started my blog, well really since I started writing on my blog I’ve not had a day where at least there was one looky loo. I started this blog in 2008. But it sat empty until just recently. In August of this year I decided what I wanted my blog for. You see I started it back in 08 because everyone was doing it. I am not normally a follower. Just ask anyone who knows me. But when it comes to technology and communications via the Internet I am all ears. And eyes. I think I am going to miss out on something cool I guess. Being a late bloomer when it comes to high-tech. I didn’t want a color TV until I married and my groom showed me the error of my ways, I was never going to own a micro–wave oven, I fought having a dishwasher until after my grown children left home, and a computer was never going to cross the threshold of my home or my mind. We can all see now how much I have changed. Now I am checking stats on my blog to see when it’s being read, by how many, and what days have how many views. Some kind of bug has bitten me.
My first computer was a God send. Only I did not realize it at first. My husband who worked & is now retired from a phone company, actually THE PHONE CO. Until the mid 80’s when our government told us we needed to have competition for phone service, that for us consumers, choices would be a good thing. And a less expensive thing. The break up of the BABY BELLS began in what is now the biggest anti-trust suit in our country’s history. It was said this was to make things better for the consumer. Anyway… I digress. My husband bought me my first computer. A BIG boxy desk top. I was so afraid of it I could barely touch it let alone work on it. Slowly and surely with my husbands not so always patient help I began to learn how to navigate around. I say not so patient only because to his credit he would come after a 10 hour day of trouble shooting software problems for the phone company to me in tears just sure I’d broke the damn thing. He would “un-hose” [I’m sure that must be a technical term, yes?] the system and get me back on track again and off I’d go. Often for hours into the night forgetting to even feed us. My husband would give me a kiss and a squeeze on his way to bed not unhappy because he knew what kind of gift he’d given me. Being chronically ill in downtown Seattle, almost bed bound, this new computer became a life line of sorts for me. I’ve always written. But now……OMG… as it’s said in Internet speak.
….It was endless. Still is. I still write long hand quite often and probably always will, God willing and my hands hold out. There is something very reassuring to me about holding pen in hand with a good quality paper under my other hand, writing words in ink until my fingers are pinched. The idea that someone I don’t know would find anything remotely interesting that I write about, and would spend time doing so blows me away. I honestly thought until tonight I have been writing just for myself. But I have been either fooling myself or not being truthful. I’d much rather think I was fooling myself, thankyou!
I discovered a little nasty secret about myself tonight. November 9th. I had no one viewing my blog. (gasping..) Not one reader. Where were you all that day? I missed you. There on my graph where all the other days of the month and even last month, the lines on the graph for each day that show I’ve had viewers. Visitors. Right now not being there at the site stat page I am not able to recall what WordPress uses for this. Anyway it’s cool how you can check to see if and how many views you’ve had. I’d not found this widget anything I was spending much time studying before. But now that there is a day with no visits and I’m afraid my ego has taken flight.
With an ego soaring and November 9th empty of viewers I suppose in my spare time I will spend it reflecting on what I did, or did not do, to attract any body to stop by. A blog is an interesting thing. I am often stunned by what people choose to write about. No judgement here. Not me. I’d be the first one at any book burning party so I am not about to begin judging what others write. I am just sometimes shocked. sometimes in pleasant ways, and sometimes not so much. There are times when I think of what I was told as a child; “Say it forget it, Write regret it.” The age of the Super Highway & the 21st century makes that old adage take on a whole different light than from when I was a child. Or even a young adult raising my daughter’s. I know I am probably very old-fashioned in many ways.” Old School” as my girl’s like to say about their mom. So I suppose it’s not surprising there are times I am shocked by what people choose to write about. I love the honesty though, the risk of being real is not easy and I can read between the lines many times and read pain. I even sometimes admire how transparent some can be. I’ve tried to be honest But I went back and removed a sentence, some pertinent personal information that frankly I chickened out on. So I have to ask myself if there are days when not even one person is checking out my blog does this really mean anything to me? Is it defining me as a writer? I don’t know. I suppose it’s too soon to tell. This is what the veterans tell me. But I’ve wrote for so many years with no feedback, why now does it seem to have an effect on me?
I’ll continue to write, to ramble on about random thought such as where was everyone on November 9th, 2011? I may even check out the stat site with more expectations now. I’ll probably even have more November 9ths? That is maybe the only thing about this Blog Thing that I can guarantee myself. Another November 9th. Lots of Movember 9ths!