Imagine You Don’t Know Me~
This thing called Chronic Pain and Fatigue think they have me figured. That what is seen in me today is what I am. Is who I am.
The belief that I am accepting this battle is a belief that is just an assumption. Because Pain thinks it knows me so well. Making an assumption I’ll sink into the intrusive viscous whirlpool of Pain’s symptoms. It’s true at times I have not had all the weapons to fight this. To fight this creeping disease. I don’t always handle it well. I’m learning I still need much more than I have in my arsenal. I’ve got to muster up some courage to forge on and show myself this battle too can be won. I’ve done it before, and I can do it again.
I Must! I Can! I Will!
So Pain,….. Please Pretend You Don’t Know Me. Just for today.
This shifting quality of my life has me feeling much like a YoYo. Up, and then down, up and then down.. up.. and then stuck,… the string caught around all the tiny aspects of my world…. caught and unable to unravel itself without help. I am searching for the right tools, my dad always advised, “Use the right tool for the right job” so I am searching for the right tools. For help.
The pain needs to kindly step aside for a brief time to allow me the focus, the mindfulness I need to discover more tools and weapons I can apply to help manage better than I am today. The Pain needs to step aside and let me have a reprieve for new skills to step in. Time for tools to be learned, ingrained. mindfulness to be open to the healing powers and energy that are sent with prayers from those who care. The focus to use the gifts of techniques and therapies that are searched out with passion.
Pain, imagine You Don’t Know Me.
Make believe for a short time that my body is not screaming at me. Pretend that the muscle spasms and knots are dissolving like pools of melting chocolate. That the ache is something blissful, not painful. Imagine that the headache that comes with a wave of each pulse to my temples are really creative processes; happily at work. Visualize my brian and central nervous system are both army and civilian; protesting together for peace and calm within this vessel called body. Look up to the Heavens and KNOW like I’ve known nothing before~ that God is providing me Hope & Strength to push on. [Even though there are days that seem darker than the norm.] That God is in charge.
Pretend I have the power and courage right now to fight. Make believe until it becomes the truth. Imagine that this body that feels the physical Pain can soften the edges and dull the sharp points. Pretend Pain does not know me. Just for a bit. Just to give me time for strength to use the wisdom I’m searching for.
Imagine if you will…if you can…. that you don’t know me…..
Imagine, Pretend, Make Believe, Visualize, Pray, Dream, Hope, that today, just for today just for a moment………. that Pain…… Does Not Know Me.