Okay, I give. It’s been six nights and the Ambian has done one thing consistently. And it has not been sleep. Oh yeah, there were a few rounds of a few hours of sleep. 5 hours at one time was my good night. Broken sleep is no sleep. I am giving up the shot of maybe 5 hours in a night, and maybe is the key word here. When the side effects out weigh any benefits it’s time to make a clear choice.
The only reason I am even sharing this is because the merits of RX induced sleep are randomly made to look so easy, such a normal part of life for an adult. All the magazine advertisements say so, the television commercials say so. Even some physicians say so.
It’s normal part of adult passage to have a sleep issue and there are magic pills to put you to sleep, to wake you up, to keep you awake. “Here, just let me give you 30 of these and come back and see me in a month.” I wonder though for how many this is really their reality. Their norm.
Is it just me, and folks like me who have a sleep disorder that find the RX medications may bring on side effects that maybe should be part of the norm talk and propaganda too? Oh sure there is the fine print, covering the pharmaceutical company’s bum. It was not enough of a warning for me. But then to be fair how much of any warning would have been enough to keep me away from the magic pill that promised to blissfully lull me into at least 8 hours of sleep? None. Maybe my doc realized this long before I ever would. I, the patient accepted the RX without much thought except, sleep please…. who knew?
Okay, I hear you.. Bloggers unite! Of all the bizarre things for this 50 plus year old woman to try to wrap her mind around. Before I take the risk of introducing any magic pill into my life that I may find honest and credible information from fellow and sister bloggers that serves me far better than from the traditional resources blows my mind. But it’s true. At least in this case it holds true for me. I could have gained so much knowledge that would have been credible in so many ways. This just stuns me. no offense.
Maybe it’s the community of bloggers I visit. No doubt the particular information I have now garnered from folks blogging about insomnia and sleep meds comes from bloggers with like experiences and minds. But isn’t that the point? Isn’t that the point of a community? You can see I am arguing out loud with myself. I was the lady of the 60’s who said in the 90’s I’ll never have a computer in my house.
Come 1996 and my husband who sometimes knows me better than myself, or I catch up late, gifted me my first computer. I was so flipping afraid of this BIG BOXY thing that I was certain my first attempt with the Cyber Highway was going to bring on the CIA. By default. My husband who is a retired trouble-shooter for what once was called THE PHONE COMPANY would come home from work and find me in a pile of frustration. I was afraid to make one more key stroke for fear I would blow the whole thing up myself included. He would quickly & quietly put things in order and say to me, Okay, try again. So I did, and I finally found that whatever I would do wrong to hose things up generally were an easy fix and I discovered forums and chat rooms. I learned very fast that chat rooms were not for me. But forums I did not have a thread winding down faster than I could type. In these forums I discovered this community of people who were attempting to live their lives in pain while still functioning. Just like me! How cool that was to find that I really was not alone. Even if I had isolated myself alone pretty much in my apartment building in downtown Seattle I found there were people who just like me are in pain daily, and just want some semblance of a normal life. A new community in my life.
When something as important as not being able to sleep is happening in your life who do you talk to for insights? Of course, the people in your community you trust. I delightfully found that most, not all, of the people in this community who live with intractable pain and/or insomnia are trusting and honest people. They have one agenda, that is to come together and share information and personal experiences for one goal. Answers. In this process comes valuable information that I plan on using as a reliable and credible resource from now on. This may not be new to most, this idea, this accessing information that is applicable to my life in such a personal way. And then maybe applying some of it. Who knew?
The information that can be gathered just from this community of bloggers blows my mind.
I have shared for years my own journey down the path of chronic pain and sleepless nights. But I have avoided such personal info until of late about topics such as medications. Why? I guess my answer is that this is the generation I am from. I can only imagine what my mom would think. Discussing such things with pure strangers, not even people I can put a face to. Imagine. But then I am from the generation who took Imagine to it’s new heights.
My two daughters are cheering me on. Of course they are from a different generation. One that grew up with technology evolving as fast as they changed their hair styles. Me? Not so much. My hair for instance is still as long as I almost tall.
My inclination to come to my sister and fellow folk who put their feet on the floor every day that they can just like I do, and to find valuable honest sharing that I cannot find anywhere else is what I shall listen to. This community is where I will first ask those important questions. Why? Because thye will have the honest answers. It’s a bit bizarre for me as I said. But with each virtual hand-held out I become more confident in what is held back. With each honest blogger I come in contact with, whose words come across the page as if they were in real time, I feel a sense of belonging to a community that ironically is not found anywhere else. For me that is just so strange.
RX meds and advice. Had I taken the time to use this community and ask what other’s experiences had been like, would I still have accepted the RX without question? I’m not sure. Having not slept for more nights than I can count, for more years than I can count, I maybe thought this was the one magic pill that was going to give me excellent results.
That is what the advertisements promised though, isn’t it?