Redefing Fear

Family members hurt us. Friends betray us. And life keeps us moving forward with the pain in our hearts and scars on our souls.

And we are also the other part of that same dichotomy for others in our own lives.

Most people don’t set out to cause hurt and pain to others, and maybe this is why we embrace forgiveness for ourselves and other in these situations. Maybe so we can heal the wounds, and maybe leave a less noticeable scar on our hearts.

I hope.

Treading on other people’s joy and expectations by making an unpopular and frightening choices is something I found difficult to do, and because so it fed into my fear of making the drastic life changes I needed.

So I could gain back some serenity in my spirit I leapt off a cliff with no idea what my landing would be like.

Today I am grateful that I embraced the fear anyway.
.
That fear…it had been screaming at my own spirit that something was terribly wrong in my life….for some time.
Part of the fear was about having to admit I had been living a life that was not what it seemed to be to those close to me….
…. admitting that what seemed to be…really just wasn’t the truth… was difficult & frightening.

That fear though was maybe in the end more of a motivator than I realized.
I have tried to spend my life living to be as authentic and as genuine as I can; and here I was living a bold face lie in my personal life.
I found that I was using my fear as an excuse to not change that about myself that was not genuine, and causing chaos for my spirit.
Pretending to be happy when the truth is that the very air space I was in had become intolerable and a far cry from living any kind of serenity. The hypocrisy and chaos alone that it created was in the end what I just couldn’t reconcile with.

Thankful today I am for that fear which told me something serious was going on that I no longer could ignore.

Grateful for that fear helped me redefine my life and where I wanted to take it.

Humbled that the fear itself was not my hindrance, but instead my liberation.

©ttaylor2014

Life’s Desire’s

If life is just all about surviving, getting by, and keeping things the way they are, then how can we explain imagination?
If it is just about sacrifice, selflessness, and altruism, then how will we explain desire?

I also wonder; if it is only just about thinking, reflection, and spirituality, then how can we explain the physical world?
I think the answers are in the big picture, I like to think it can be all-inclusive, and that wanting it all, that desire, that’s what helps mold and shape who we are, and our interactions with our world.

What do you think?

©ttaylor2014

Good… Good… Good Vibrations

 

Vibrations.  The good kind… there has been an energy field filled with such Good Vibrations that I can’t help but celebrate.
Good vibrations from those around me, from the events happening in my life, and those I love. Good vibrations seeming to spark one to another.

It’s a contagious thing. 
Some might even call it the great secret of life.
I don’t think it’s a secret. it’s simply something that needs to be applied. Practiced if you will. 
In our physical world there are different rates of vibrations, these all can have vastly different results and effects. In the physical world both negative and positive are a must for each other to create the machinations sought out by living. Vibrations of our physical world are vastly different from the vibrations on a spiritual plane. Having an awareness of the difference is important. Realizing this and applying it can create the difference between productive energy for the soul….or energy that which feeds no one, nor anything.  And depletes everything good.
While in the spiritual dimension negative energy is a considered a lower vibration because it’s a heavier and more dense energy, while positive energy is a higher vibration, it’s lighter and far more subtle. My sense about negative energy is it weighs me down, it almost makes me feel claustrophobic, if that makes any sense to you.
Whereas I find with positive energy a feeling of lightness lift from my shoulders. I feel liberated. The difference between negative & positive in my mind can be like the difference between pain and joy. I tend to feel negative energy as an emotional hardship and what  it can cost me and those I care about can be rather expensive.
For me negative energy is confining  While ppositive is liberating.
Learning early on that spiritual energy attracts more energy is a fundamental key to one’s own serenity. With personal experiences I trust that the energy I project is exactly what the energy I will receive in return. I  embrace all those good vibrations surrounding my life. I can choose at any given moment, any given circumstance or scenario   just which polar side I am going to hitch my wagon to,,,,,, and because positive attracts more positive… as does negative attract negative… I choose to circle my wagon around the Camp of Positivity. 
After watching patterns develop around me these last 24 months an awareness came to me that  there is an absolute connection to the spiritual energy plane that corresponds with circumstances on a physical energy plane. These patterns have helped reinforce for me that with every positive thought and action I create its tenfold,…. the more positives I apply the more positive goodness results.
It’s a magnetic force that I cannot ignore.
It’s magic, yet it’s not. The polar side of that is just as true and I choose NOT to draw or pull the negatives into my life. 
This is where and how my making choices in how I think and where I let my emotions take me is so symbiotic. No thought exists without there also being an emotion tied to it, even when we may not be aware, our subconscious is aware. Becoming keenly aware of how my thinking affects my emotions… and  in turn how my emotions affect my thinking is liberating.
It’s empowering.
It’s imperative that the self chatter I create be in the positive habit. 
It matters a whole lot what we’re telling ourselves when we think no one else is listening. 
This basic understanding I want to point out this is simply in my humble opinion part of my emotional intelligence. An emotional intelligence that continues to grow and foster in my life  that I find great serenity in today.
I am convinced that with continued awareness and walking with an open heart and mind that this belief enables ordinary people like me to effectively take charge of my way of thinking, and thus the quality of my life. 
The feeling (emotional) function of our physiology is our internal monitor detecting at any given moment how we feel we’re doing in the given circumstance;  and because the human spirit is so tremendously complex we experience a vast spectrum of emotions, from pain to joy, sadness to happiness, frustration to satisfaction….and throughout these emotions we’re critiquing how we’re feeling. Most often berating ourselves… negatively. 
OR MAYBE NOT…
There’s enough negativity out there in the world that is not even directed to each of us personally, yet we can be affected. I see no benefit by adding to the vibrations any negatives from my camp.
My thoughts and my feelings are wrapped around this mindset:
”  I don’t want what I think and feel, (whether it be out loud or merely if I internalize) to be of the negative and dis-empowering kind.  I am choosing to allow no room for negatives.”
Choosing as often as I can only those ” Good, Good Vibrations.”
In living my life being mindful of how my words and internal chatter impact others and myself I have witnessed just how one good vibration sparks another.. and another…..
I learned a new word the other day. “Orenda”
 [aw-ren-duh, oh-ren-]

noun  ~ a supernatural force believed by the iroquois Indians to be present, in varying degrees, in all objects or persons, and to be the spiritual force by which human accomplishment is attained or accounted for.
 
Maybe it’s another word for Good  Good Vibrations”
 I have zero doubt that what is taking place in my life and others around me in nothing less than “Orendu.”
 

 

 

©ttaylor2014

Reposting Words….that ring true still today

** For transparency sake you might like to know this post was written almost a year ago. I continue to have reasons to be filled with enormous gratitude, and my own words below still ring true within myself.  So albeit cheating really I thank you for indulging me. I think this repost is a timely one.

I believe this is a case of practice what I preach.

 

Above all else it is about leaving a mark that I existed. I was here. I was hungry. I was defeated. I was happy. I was sad. I was in love. I was afraid. I was hopeful. I had an idea and I had a great purpose and that is why I make works of art.”~ Felix Gonzalez-Torres

Today I know how that life itself is a work of art. one in which we all have a great purpose in. We create art in our life on a daily basis.

WE are our own masterpiece.

I have been conscientious of late for the need to try to remain simply mindful of today, of the “now” in my life. It is not a new belief or concept for me, but it requires patience and focus. My patience was being tested lately.

This has made me forgetful,  and  it also helped me to lose my focus on just the here and now, and to enjoy just what I am living right now.

I am realizing that to also be grateful for the things I don’t think about as often would go a long ways to remaining in the moment. I need to remain in the now.  Not get caught up in the problems of yesterday, the worries of tomorrow. Instead being mindful of all things significant in my life….

 So, I ask myself what about the little things?  The things in my life that I take for granted?

There  are things I tended to take for granted if my life, and when I was suddenly in another world many of those things I took for granted were gone, so my priorities changed. For the better.

I am a grateful person usually by nature. I believe in gratitude and expressing thanks. I am easily aware of feeling grateful for the obvious gifts in my life. Gifts like my Faith, my Hopes, my Dreams, on being loving, on being loved, on peacefulness and contentment. These are the things happiness can be built on and I am thankful each morning and night for these gifts. And for those in my life who are my gifts.

Yet there are those small, seemingly unimportant things in my life I would not want to be without; like the flowers I am able to grow each spring and summer. In the grand scheme of my life, important? Probably not. Yet my world would be flat without. There are a few others in my life that I’d like to be more aware of how significant they are to me. In a more mindful way.

Making a point of being grateful for the “small things” and not taking advantage of them, or assuming they will always be there is important to me. So much so I try to make gratitude part of my daily self-inventory.  Or aka “self-observation.”

Seneca, the Roman Stoic philosopher, statesman and dramatist, suggested the idea of “self observation” by making a daily self-inventory of ourselves, by asking as we bring our day and evening to a close the questions of ourself.

His suggested questions work for me. What bad habit have you changed today?  What fault have you resisted?  In what respect are you better?

And I add: Who and what am I grateful for today?

This ritual of asking and answering for the day’s behavior & actions helps me to be reminded of the times when I am not living as graciously as I could be. I am able to sort out the day’s events and process any feelings. Often through music and journaling.

I know that you can not create happiness out of nothing at all. I know that it takes a “Whole Lotta Love” and everyday significance. I know that I have been remiss of being mindful to appreciative the many seemingly small things in my world which really do hold great significance.

 I hope to now have created gentle reminders that will prompt me to stop, take a few deep breaths, and realize where I am at this moment in time.

I know this; I am able to touch happiness because of these many “small things” in my life that are very significant…at least to me.

They help create my own masterpiece.  What’s creating yours?

 

 

 

Signature 2013

 

 
 

 

Test..Test..

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 Firsts
First times for everything usually create a lasting memory.
I’m happy to say that even though I’ve lived a lifetime I’m still experiencing Firsts.
My journey of this last two years has been filled with a lot of Firsts, and most recently I had the great joy of doing my first live, on the air, radio show.

Barefoot Rock n Blues has been such a long chased dream that when I ran my first test show it felt surreal. Yet I found the nervous energy I felt funneling right into the very music I love, this very music I will now have the privilege of spinning for other listeners – now as a DJ.

There’s a bit of technical work and learning curve that goes into creating a live radio broadcast, and I’m not someone who is technically inclined.
Setting up the broadcast software would not have been possible without the help of the Mixposure Team.
The team is just one of the reasons I’m delighted to be invited to DJ for Mixposure Radio, I am proud to be joining the team. I have been a listener and member of the Mixposure community for about a year, it feeds my passion for independent music.
A radio station that devotes 100% of its air time to Independent Music is where I wanted to hang my hat, and with Mixposure’s long history with independent music & artists; and that it is owned and operated by independent musicians & artists I feel like I found a home.

Because Mixposure has confidence that I have something worthwhile to bring to their mix (pun fully intended) and that I have the support and guidance from the other six DJ’s I even am feeling a bit of confidence too now. I have had two test shows which reaffirmed to me that doing something that you love is never work. Everything worked like a classic textbook case for the broadcast software, my set-up and microphone checks were tweaked with the help of an amazing technical engineer whose handle is Daddy Rabbit. He left his rabbit tracks permanently imprinted on my heart.

A big shout out to Mixposure’s Dazed and JimE for their confidence in me. And to my friend and mentor DJ Doug Dickens. They have all been the strongest of supporters whose warm welcomes were what allowed me to “Just Breath.”

I’d like to say thank you to Doug Dickens for he’s become my mentor (even when he might not have wanted the job) I look to him often for guidance. He & his beautiful wife have both become dear friends.

Also I want to thank Brick Fields Music from my heart and soul for the use of their song “Barefoot Woman” as my theme song. There is a bit of a serendipitous back story to how this came to be that I will share another day, but suffice it to say that since I fell in love with Brick Fields music & especially their song Barefoot Woman amazing things have happened. I am convinced that there is a much more powerful force at work in all our lives.

Thank you Rachel Fields & Larry Brick.  I love you Brick Fields!

I’m including the song here for some added enjoyment to listen to as you finish the post.

http://youtu.be/SeZPEeZlagQ

Both tests, while having three definite listeners who could give me live for feedback was priceless. I felt sincerely like I was simply sitting with a group of good friends listening to fantastic music while we chatted about the music.  That there was a microphone in front of me became a moot point.

Yet..firsts sometimes come with blunders, while in the moment of the first test, I was so caught up in the music and making sure I was following directions that I forgot to turn the mic ON. OOPS!

Testing my stream, my microphone, and my first time jitters was empowering for me to say the least, giving voice to my desire to share music with as many people as I can is such an enormous feeling of satisfaction. I’m actually quite blown away. I keep repeatong lately that this is a dream that I have been chasing for a very long time. Since being a young child I have had an affinity for radio and the music it brings to my world. Albeit there had been a time I became disillusioned with what commercial radio had become. Even the once Avant Guard of the late 60’s radio with FM frequency and stations playing whole albums and longer tracks has changed drastically today. Because of my distaste for what commercial radio had become prior to the internet I had remained in a time warp musically, I wasn’t hearing new artists to my ears very often. I listened to NPR- National Public Radio & our local college stations.

The internet changed all that for me. And Mixposure Radio.

Today I am an avid fan of internet radio streaming and my passion for independent music fell right into place. Now I am proud to be one of those music messengers’ who help promote independent artist’s and their music. The perfect extension to my artist management agency. I am so enamored with how this universe works its magic in our lives I’m in awe once again.

Believe in something strong enough, and never lose sight of hope for the things in your life that moves your heart & touches your soul, and dreams really do come true.

Am I excited?

Oh yeah!

Barefoot Rock n Blues debuts June 22 @ 8pm eastern on http://www.mixposure.com (Click on radio & Listen now)

I hope you’ll be listening in, and if so I would love your feedback.

ttaylor2014©

Found: Empathy & Compassion

Empathy and compassion are the paths that point to finding the road to living a life with great serenity.
Not everyone knows this experience.

image empathy is

My small world is filled family and Friends whose empathy and compassion often not the socks off my bare feet.
I want them to know this 13th day of May 2014 just how much I cherish their caring thoughts, prayers, actions, and genuine feelings for me. I’m one very blessed lady and I never wish to take that for granted.

I was prepared mentally,  physically, and spiritually to have a surgical procedure called a Cholecystectony, the fancy word for Laparoscopic removal of my Gallbladder. I wasn’t prepared for deep sense of love and care I have been shown by family and friends. I don’t mean to suggest that their empathy and compassion are new to me.
Not at all.
I am feeling their care in a new way, it’s me whose feeling the loving care as incredibly blessed gifts. I think for sometime I wasn’t the person who was in touch and mindful of that feeling beyond an awareness that it was there.
I hope I wasn’t actually taking it for granted before,  I think I simply was not giving the compassion from those in my life the reverence it deserves. They deserve.
Empathy is not something everyone gets to experience,  yet it is needed to be able to embrace a sense of compassion.

There are people in my life, close family, and friends who became family by choice that I best describe them as ‘Empaths’. They know what I’m living. They, because of their gifts of empathy and compassion feel deeply what I feel.

image empathy is about standing

They’ve been beside me and privy to my journey of becoming a strong and independent woman, witnessing my  many “first times in life” experiences through the last two years, and they never judge, only support me with their unconditional love and acceptance of who I am.
I’m so blessed.

Self serving post this is, it is All About Me.
It’s important to me that those people in my life hear me say that I am touched in ways again today that leave me completely humbled by your friendship.
And your compassionate loving caring ways. You might think it’s nothing to take a few minutes to phone to just see how I am, I on the other hand think it’s priceless.

I especially need to give a ‘Mama Shout Out’ to my daughter Janis, she has been my personal nurse, confidante, chef, medical insurance specialist, and my heath advocate. As my daughter and best friend she reminds me daily just how imperative it is to be genuine with those in your circle of love, and the reasons behind the joy I find living an authentic life. I love you Cupcake & Thank YOU. ♡

My family/framily = my bros & niece’s, my two ‘sis-out-laws’, my two best gal-pals they know who they are, and last but certainly not the least my artists/clients-partners in music, all of them deserve big love from me for their most amazing support.

I’m deeply overwhelmed with emotions that y’all inspire within my heart and soul. I just needed to express it out loud.
THANK YOU!  THANK YOU!
I love you all to the Moon and Back.

 

©ttaylor2014

 

Listening

LISTENING IS A VERB.
Sitting with a close friend whose no longer conscious, his body quietly shutting down as he is in the final stages of terminal cancer came with great heartache. As I sat talking to my friend about everything, and about nothing, my mind went to an abstract thought about listening. I think being good at listening is one of the ways we can humble ourselves with others, and with our world.
  Quite possibly l was avoiding what my heart was feeling, but that’s another post, for another time. This is about listening.  
As I tend to do when something catches my attention I began thinking about it. Listening; observing how I listen, and later I began reading about it.
We crave the sound of another’s voice. Our human voice’s triggers laughter, tears, anticipation, urgency, often time love, and even comfort. Our ears are the complex instrument that for most of us we use to identify, perceive, and decipher speech and sound.
Our internal receiver & amplifier if you will. I’ve heard in the past, and just recently again I read that hearing is one of the last senses to leave us as we die.
Listening as an art isn’t something everyone does on the same level, and for a variety of reasons. But even in the worst case of environmental conditions for listening for most of us our brains act like a fine piece of software and reconstruct words, allowing us to decipher the gist of what is being said.
Cognitively we have learned how to pick up on clues and isolate them out, and sounds yes, but just as important to ‘listen ‘to are the lip movements, smiles, frowns, pauses, stammers. Our brain’s stitches them together in a commonsense of order which we use to communicate. 
I’m curious how often I miss something important being said because I heard only the gist of it. 
I was listening, I received most of it. Right?
The majority of what we think we hear is a product of our imaginations. Apparently without being conscious of it we tend to fill in missing gaps in other people’s verbal narratives. We often correct grammar, interpret accents, add punctuation. and even substitute words all the time our brain’s word processor is creating what we hear as the other person speaks. 
How many times have you known what someone is going to say before they have even finished?
Nothing about listening is passive. I had no idea there is an actual name given to this phenomenal effect, let alone that there is literature written on the topic.
It’s a process called ‘Phonetic Restoration’- Briefly, it’s a survival skill we all make use of that allows us to decipher communications, for instance when the captain of the ship is trying to communicate to frightened passengers over a public address system in a full-on roaring wind storm. The passengers get the gist of the warning.
Let Wikipedia have a go at it, a better explanation:
For reference compliments of Wikipedia: – Phonemic restoration effect is a perceptual phenomenon where under certain conditions, sounds actually missing from a speech signal can be hallucinated by the brain and clearly heard. The effect occurs when missing phonemes in an auditory signal are replaced with white noise, resulting in the brain filling in absent phonemes. The effect can be so strong that listeners do not even know that there are phonemes missing. This effect is commonly observed in a conversation with heavy background noise, making it difficult to properly hear every phoneme being spoken. Different factors can change the strength of the effect, including age and gender.
This effect is more important to humans than what was initially thought. Linguists have pointed out that at least the English language is full of false starts and extraneous sounds. The phonemic restoration effect is the brain’s way of resolving those imperfections in our speech. Without this effect interfering with our language processing, there would be a greater need for much more accurate speech signals and human speech could require much more precision. For experiments, white noise is necessary because it takes the place of these imperfections in speech. One of the most important factors in language is continuity and in turn intelligibility
I find I’m being more mindful now when listening. Intentionally I sit back, relax, and just listen with every sense. Being aware of how much concentration it takes to follow and absorb every word of a verbal exchange is daunting, but an amazing experiment.
Talking isn’t necessarily a requirement to be a participant in communication.
We also convey what we mean with our glances, how we tilt our head, smiles & facial expressions, these all become part of the exchange. Silently we can orchestrate the arrangement of a conversation, influencing its course, and its outcome.

 

Writing about listening needs to include a word on words. Words are a key element to communication, an obvious component of listening. 

Apparently our brains create about 500 hundred words per minute (wpm) when in a quiet environment. Our brain’s have a tremendous large appetite for auditory stimulation. Most of us speak about 150 words per minute, that is assuming we are using full sentences when conveying a desired message. This leaves a lag of about 350 words. (using the 500 wpm theory) We make use of this lag to listen to our intuition and perceptions. We engage, we listen with our eyes as much as with our ears.

It’s said that a good listener is also a good spectator by following a discussion along while also scrutinizing facial expressions and body language.

Yet even with adopting these listening practices we might not come away from a discussion with the ability to repeat what was said verbatim, or to remember things such as dates or names. But we will have absorbed the entire concept creating our own perception’s of what was said.

 

I don’t think we need to beat ourselves up when we come away without complete recall of important details such as dates and names. According to one major university study intellectual content only accounts for about 7% of all verbal communication.

Surprise you? Did me.

What we share between a speaker and listener’s is more than sharing mere words. We feel vibrations in speech, even though it’s not always audible. Some tones trigger auditory responses, some affect our moods, and some create unexpected thoughts or memories.

What we don’t hear in words we register with our other senses. Being good at listening ultimately means to use our entire being, all of our senses as a sounding board for what other people are communicating.

I intend to pay closer attention

. .

©ttaylor2014

Barefoot Rock n Blues Presents Trevor Sewell’s new Face To Face Acoustic Album

Originally posted on Barefoot Music Group:

trevor sewell_face to face album _reedit_8_24

This Sunday, August 24th, 2014. Hear Trevor Sewell’s newest album release in it’s entirety.
“Face To Face” is a beautiful acoustic compilation of Trevor’s signature style and sound an independent (and spontaneous) project recorded at Capital Records Studio in L.A.
I personally fancy the music of just a musician & their instrument, no bells, no whistle’s. Just the pure music.
Hope y’all will be joining Barefoot Rock n Blues on Mixposure Radio this Sunday @ 8pm (edt)
www.mixposure.com
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IN TREVOR”s word’s.

This album is very different to my usual electric offerings as I just wanted to see what the songs were like when they were completely stripped back to just one guitar and one voice – it was completely unplanned and there was no set list. I was in Capitol Records in Hollywood to record tracks for my new electric album…

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Barefoot Rock n Blues Presents An Original Musicical ~ Rose

Barefoot Baroness:

A Barefoot Rock n Blues first ~ Radio theater

Originally posted on Barefoot Music Group:

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ROSE
Barefoot Rock n Blues proudly will be presenting the original musical Rose – A new released album 100% Independent production created and produced by Daryl Abyss.
Featuring the collective talent’s:
Daryl Abyss- original creator songwriter musician director, producer,engineer.
Joseph Rodriquez; musician, lead guitar
Linda Fry: writer, lyricist
Michael Stone: musician, songwriter, vocals
Pete Jon Tebar: musician, vocals
Daryl Abyss and company bring to Barefoot Rock n Blues their original rock musical “Rose” in the fashion of radio theater of yester-years.
A love story that dramatically unfolds through narration and song as Georgia born Rose is filled with conflict and despair;  for her hunger and thirst for blood, and for her love for a man.
This 1800’s love story creates a wide range of emotions from the grief of her father’s death, her sibling conflict, and her dark life as a vampire in love, to the choices she’s faced with.
Join us on…

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