Getting out alive when it comes to the impact that others can have when you’re an ‘absorbent person’ isn’t easy.
Learning to live amongst the chaos that an Empath is surrounded by takes practice. It’s not a done deal as long as your heart is kept isolated to trying again, I know, I tried. Going through the emotions of getting caught out I have had so many questions. If I let others in my world and give in to the power of another’s pain/mood impacting mine can I hold on to all the serenity I have created for myself? Why the hell do I feel the need to let my self absorb like this? Nothing should shatter my resolve to live with a simple balance, yet for instance when I allow my feet to walk in soneone else’s discontent my balance is tipped.
“They” call it being an “Empath”.
An Empath is born, not created, it’s a genetic trait, inherent in our DNA, and often is passed from generation to generation, meaning it’s not a thing we can learn how to be, either you are, or you are not. It’s also not some pagan belief, despite some that claim that it’s “the work of the devil” which I find absurd.
Exactly what Empath means:.
According to the dictionary Empathy is described as one’s ability to recognize, perceive, and feel directly the emotions of another. The word itself, is derived from the Greek words “empatheia” meaning “passion” and “pathein” meaning to experience or suffer.
All of us have empathy, to a degree, it’s part of the human make up. Most of us “understand” how another feels, but to be an Empath, is quite another matter. For the natural born Empath understands holistically because they cannot help but feel those feelings, as if they were our own. It goes far deeper than just relating to another’s feelings, as it goes into the realm of literal physiological, instinctual and visceral sharing of those emotions. Empathy… it’s not (as is commonly believed) the same as sympathy. Sympathy is how we react to someone who is suffering. We feel sorry they are suffering, which is our own emotional state. An Empath instead is someone who finds themselves standing in the others shoes and feels their joy, and their pain. My experience; literally,
But what makes it even more difficult than what we feel is to still not understand why. Absorbing isn’t an option, creating boundaries is, and I am learning finally that is the only effective way to live empathetically without getting caught. To try to completely disconnect from the flow of empathic energies is having to completely isolate, a consequence of which numbs down all aspects of my life. I wasn’t sure though if this was going to be something I was willing to give up. That would mean isolating my heart and soul, and as a chronic empathetic person I don’t think that is a viable choice. Yet 24 years later of this awareness there’s still no clearer understanding.
Having done the work to get to a place of serenity while still being absorbent fooled me. That I was in a mindset that I was in full control of my feelings was misleading. Neither could have been any farther from my truth. I am surprised by what it is that can knock me off balance. I realized that simply trying to deny what my heart and soul was screaming wasn’t working either.
Unspoken feelings are no less feelings, nor no less true.
Around our physical body there is a layer of energy, it’s electric, it’s often referred to as an “aura” If this a new way of thinking for you perhaps think of it as your Aura being devoted to your interface with your environment. Our aura’s shape and condition what is indicative of our relationship to our world.
People who are Empaths are often thought of as having a “thin skin” in relation to absorbing their world. Creating boundaries, or a “thick skin” to help insulate our spirits is crucial, yet holes will still develop, no matter how vigilant we are. Empaths are more easily influenced by the environment.
I am an Empath with many years to my credit banked, and finding ways to navigate the onslaught of emotions that flood my spirit has been one of the longest studies of my life. My spirit and heart had to discover the need to create a visual of an ‘energy shield ‘around my physical body as my saving grace. I use imagery to see it as radiant and a complete me, I even see different emotions as different colors now.
Once boundaries are drawn, “energy armor in place, I again use imagery to see there is a spark in the center of my being that is the pure essence of my spirit. With my attention focused on that spark I become keenly aware of the sensations and emotions that continuously flood my spirit, my thoughts bring me far more clarity. I first tried this practice when alone, and then, after a time I began to practice it around others. Soon my hope is that I will be adept at switching my awareness from my environment to myself, and back again, all the while noticing the difference between the two.
- Don’t Take On Responsibilities That Aren’t Yours-
I need to be reminded. As an Empath I learned that I was used to care taking, even to the point at one time that I felt as though I was supposed to do it. I am not. You are not.
My agenda became finding a balance between being as compassionate as possible without going beyond the limits of what I need to do to maintain my health, serenity, and my sanity. That balance meant understanding that I am responsible up to that line, and not beyond it.
As Empaths we are often seen outwardly as kind and caring, we are often misunderstood. We typically have the benefit of everyone thinking that we are almost saintly. but it’s not a comfortable thing to get attached to being the “nice guy.
” However, and it is a big however, it is not easy dealing with people’s negative emotions and reactions, but know that the caretaking of others will not in the end serve you, or even serve them for that matter. It doesn’t even help to protect them from their feelings, instead it will keep them from growing. People who had became accustomed to your caretaking may get angry or sad at you, or with you, when you don’t do what they want you to do, or that they expect. It is important to remember that their feelings are not your feelings, and your well-being is not dependent on their well being. Stay mindful of your own reality.
As a fellow Empath expressed my sentiments perfectly- *Nick said; “As empaths, we can’t cut ourselves off of ALL emotion from others. We need it. I had my empathy go away temporarily a few months back and it HURT. It was like talking to a brick wall whenever I would talk to someone.”
As I continue to move forward in my life I close my eyes. I imagine myself being covered by a pink bubble of light, because pink is the color of love. With my mind I make the bubble flexible enough that it won’t be shattered when things hit it, and I imagine it thick enough to be resilient. I make it solid first, and then let it develop very small holes in it, so that I’m able to absorb what I do need.
Taking a deep cleansing breath, I realize immediately that I’m going to be Okay.